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re: Tiger Tales: True Confessions, Brushes With Fame & Infamous Tiger Escapades!
Posted on 10/30/12 at 12:19 pm to the808bass
Posted on 10/30/12 at 12:19 pm to the808bass
808bass, glad you chimed in! quote:
This has been "Brushes with Greatness" with the808bass.
DC is an awesome place to visit. I spent six weeks there one summer while Romeo had a four-month temporary placement with his agency. Loved it all, but Arlington Cemetery was maybe my favorite. Took daily walks there, as our apartment was nearby.
2
Posted on 10/30/12 at 1:00 pm to Bogie00
If anyone gets the chance, go to the WWII memorial, or the mall in general for that matter, after midnight on a clear night. It is a totally different place at night. The WWII memorial is spectacular but so is the korean war memorial.
For you fellas, the ladies love it. For the ladies, you will love it.
For you fellas, the ladies love it. For the ladies, you will love it.
Posted on 10/30/12 at 2:17 pm to Bogie00
[continued]
The girls and I spent the afternoon visiting art galleries, museums, bars, and attempting to learn each others language. We sat in the grass in Jackson Square and taught each other french and english words.
"You are (pointing to Annie)...pretty (pointing to a flower). I like you."
After nearly an hour of laughing, playful touching, and communication that bordered on sign language, Annie's friend Anna stood up with her purse. I believe that she felt like a third wheel and excused herself to give Annie and I privacy. Anna hugged Annie. Then she turned, smiled at me and said in a playful thick french accent, "be nice, mister." She walked away.
Annie was the epitome of an attractive french girl - dark curly hair tied back behind her ears with a vibrant silk band, natually wet pursed lips, and brooding eyes that blurred the lines of menace and lust. She wore a yellow sun dress.
Occasionally, one of the straps on her sun dress would fall down her shoulder exposing a bit more of her tanned and slightly freckled chest.
She didn't care. She embraced herself, her body, and the spell she had over me...
[continued]
The girls and I spent the afternoon visiting art galleries, museums, bars, and attempting to learn each others language. We sat in the grass in Jackson Square and taught each other french and english words.
"You are (pointing to Annie)...pretty (pointing to a flower). I like you."
After nearly an hour of laughing, playful touching, and communication that bordered on sign language, Annie's friend Anna stood up with her purse. I believe that she felt like a third wheel and excused herself to give Annie and I privacy. Anna hugged Annie. Then she turned, smiled at me and said in a playful thick french accent, "be nice, mister." She walked away.
Annie was the epitome of an attractive french girl - dark curly hair tied back behind her ears with a vibrant silk band, natually wet pursed lips, and brooding eyes that blurred the lines of menace and lust. She wore a yellow sun dress.
Occasionally, one of the straps on her sun dress would fall down her shoulder exposing a bit more of her tanned and slightly freckled chest.
She didn't care. She embraced herself, her body, and the spell she had over me...
[continued]
This post was edited on 10/30/12 at 2:21 pm
Posted on 10/30/12 at 2:20 pm to mizzoukills
Don't expect any cat fights between Semo and me...but watch out for our broomsticks! :lol
Hell has no fury like a woman scorned! I am seriously considering making this my new sig pic.
Great example of scorned female follows:
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at his pubic hairs .
Worried that it might need a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.
Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence,
"Get well soon from the nurse in the land-rover you ticketed for
speeding last week."
Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
Hell has no fury like a woman scorned! I am seriously considering making this my new sig pic.
Great example of scorned female follows:
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at his pubic hairs .
Worried that it might need a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.
Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence,
"Get well soon from the nurse in the land-rover you ticketed for
speeding last week."
Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
This post was edited on 10/30/12 at 2:29 pm
Posted on 10/30/12 at 4:45 pm to mizzoukills
[continued]
Indeed Annie had a spell over me. However, I held the ace in the deck - my sketchbook. She laid in the grass in several coy poses. She untied the silk band and removed it from her hair allowing her curls to fall in front of her dark eyes. My pencil moved quickly over the paper capturing as many poses as possible, each pose becoming a bit more intimate with time.
We spoke very little. There was no need for speech. We understood the moment perfectly and allowed our eyes and body language to convey our feelings for each other…
[continued]
Indeed Annie had a spell over me. However, I held the ace in the deck - my sketchbook. She laid in the grass in several coy poses. She untied the silk band and removed it from her hair allowing her curls to fall in front of her dark eyes. My pencil moved quickly over the paper capturing as many poses as possible, each pose becoming a bit more intimate with time.
We spoke very little. There was no need for speech. We understood the moment perfectly and allowed our eyes and body language to convey our feelings for each other…
[continued]
Posted on 11/1/12 at 4:50 pm to mizzoukills
While we wait for Kills next installment in his romance novel, I will finally lead up to my outhouse story.
Part 1. Snake Phobia
My freshman year at Mizzou, the Psych Dept advertised for students willing to take part in Phobia Research. The intent was to see if they could erase or at least mollify one's fear of snakes. They would even pay good money to the participants. I wanted the money, and had more than ample up close and personal rational reasons to fear snakes. My snake encounters are a legendary part of my family folklore. The expression "snake bit," would fit me perfectly, except by some miraculous intervention, I somehow, avoided actually being bit.
I had to interview for the psych guinea pig position, as many students also wanted to pick up some extra easy cash. I related my close encounters with a few copperheads, one blue racer, one diamondback rattler and numerous innocuous snakes, black snakes, in particular. By the time I was through sharing my history, between the tender ages of 6 and 8, even the panel of interviewers agreed that my fear might not be irrational. I was to become their star pupil and greatest challenge!
(to be continued)
Part 1. Snake Phobia
My freshman year at Mizzou, the Psych Dept advertised for students willing to take part in Phobia Research. The intent was to see if they could erase or at least mollify one's fear of snakes. They would even pay good money to the participants. I wanted the money, and had more than ample up close and personal rational reasons to fear snakes. My snake encounters are a legendary part of my family folklore. The expression "snake bit," would fit me perfectly, except by some miraculous intervention, I somehow, avoided actually being bit.
I had to interview for the psych guinea pig position, as many students also wanted to pick up some extra easy cash. I related my close encounters with a few copperheads, one blue racer, one diamondback rattler and numerous innocuous snakes, black snakes, in particular. By the time I was through sharing my history, between the tender ages of 6 and 8, even the panel of interviewers agreed that my fear might not be irrational. I was to become their star pupil and greatest challenge!
(to be continued)
This post was edited on 11/1/12 at 11:33 pm
Posted on 11/1/12 at 11:31 pm to Bogie00
Part 2. Snake Phobia
The psych panel agreed that I truly had a phobia when it came to snakes. Within a two year span I had stepped on a copperhead while barefoot, shared a tube ride with another copperhead, been chased by a blue racer up a dusty road, almost been thrown by my horse when encountering a rattle snake on a trail ride, reached into a nest of baby rabbits and pulled out a black snake engorging one bunny. Who wouldn't be afraid of snakes, after those experiences?
One incident is humorous now, but not at the time it happened. For convenience sake, we had an outhouse located between stables and barns. The last time I ever used it, is quite memorable. I entered and proceeded to take the throne. Unknown to me a black snake was stretched across the top of the interior door frame. As luck would have it, the snake decided to drop across my bare thighs. With a scream like a banshee, I burst through the door, pants around my ankles, and fell to the ground. To add to my horror, my father and a couple of hired hands witnessed my bare arse. They never let me live it down.
(to be continued)
The psych panel agreed that I truly had a phobia when it came to snakes. Within a two year span I had stepped on a copperhead while barefoot, shared a tube ride with another copperhead, been chased by a blue racer up a dusty road, almost been thrown by my horse when encountering a rattle snake on a trail ride, reached into a nest of baby rabbits and pulled out a black snake engorging one bunny. Who wouldn't be afraid of snakes, after those experiences?
One incident is humorous now, but not at the time it happened. For convenience sake, we had an outhouse located between stables and barns. The last time I ever used it, is quite memorable. I entered and proceeded to take the throne. Unknown to me a black snake was stretched across the top of the interior door frame. As luck would have it, the snake decided to drop across my bare thighs. With a scream like a banshee, I burst through the door, pants around my ankles, and fell to the ground. To add to my horror, my father and a couple of hired hands witnessed my bare arse. They never let me live it down.
(to be continued)
Posted on 11/2/12 at 12:07 am to Bogie00
I grew up with two of the University of Missouri's finest football players. (Names redacted), we were HS Class of 1994. Trust me, that '97 team that should have beaten Nebraska was a team of absolute characters. Anyway, while they decided to go to Mizzou, I went to SMS. This resulted in many road trips to CoMo to watch my boys play. I especially loved road tripping for the Black and Gold spring games. I was only at SMS for two years before joining the Navy, so I wasn't around when the the '97 team really gelled and should have beat Nebraska. (That game is a story as well).
Anyway, this story happened during the '96 spring game. Me and a couple of friends drove up from Springfield to see the game and meet up with the guys after the game. As per all my stories, we were well lubed before kickoff, and enjoyed the Black and Gold game as any Mizzou fan should. I had talked to (names redacted) before the game and they told me to bring everyone down to the training center after the game, there we would all meet up and go out afterwards. So, when the game was over we headed down to the training building. My friends were a little nervous about walking in there after drinking so I decided I'd just go in and hang out outside the locker room and wait for them to come out. As I stood in the hallway, a crowd gathered around, basically a bunch of college age dudes just like me.
Now, I'm about 6'3 210, and most of these dudes were as big as or bigger than me, which was somewhat suprising. But, eh whatever, I didn't put 2 and 2 together at the time. Then, a bunch of Missouri coaches come around and start telling us all that they appreciate us coming out for the game. I'm still thinking, "Ok, that's cool, we're fans, and they're thanking us."
Then, after about 5 min, here comes Coach Larry Smith. He starts down at the end of the hall thanking everyone for coming and asking, "Hey, why not come to Missouri to play football?"...
Edit for names redacted...
Anyway, this story happened during the '96 spring game. Me and a couple of friends drove up from Springfield to see the game and meet up with the guys after the game. As per all my stories, we were well lubed before kickoff, and enjoyed the Black and Gold game as any Mizzou fan should. I had talked to (names redacted) before the game and they told me to bring everyone down to the training center after the game, there we would all meet up and go out afterwards. So, when the game was over we headed down to the training building. My friends were a little nervous about walking in there after drinking so I decided I'd just go in and hang out outside the locker room and wait for them to come out. As I stood in the hallway, a crowd gathered around, basically a bunch of college age dudes just like me.
Now, I'm about 6'3 210, and most of these dudes were as big as or bigger than me, which was somewhat suprising. But, eh whatever, I didn't put 2 and 2 together at the time. Then, a bunch of Missouri coaches come around and start telling us all that they appreciate us coming out for the game. I'm still thinking, "Ok, that's cool, we're fans, and they're thanking us."
Then, after about 5 min, here comes Coach Larry Smith. He starts down at the end of the hall thanking everyone for coming and asking, "Hey, why not come to Missouri to play football?"...
Edit for names redacted...
This post was edited on 11/2/12 at 3:33 pm
Posted on 11/2/12 at 5:46 pm to SoCalMIZ
Not a crazy tale, but MS2 switching in and out of kU garb reminded me of the time I had to pick my daughter up from a friends party. She was probably 9 or so at the time. It had been a really cold day and I told her to dress for it but of course dad knows nothing and she wore a t-shirt. Of course she got down there and froze so she asked to borrow a sweatshirt. The dad was kind enough, but the problem was he is a kU grad and gave her a kU sweatshirt. When I got there to pick her up and saw her in it I turned right around and left. Told the wife she has to do it because I'm not. It's only a 5 minute drive so I didn't catch too much heat but now there is a picture hanging around of her in a kU sweatshirt that we never let her forget.
Posted on 11/2/12 at 9:36 pm to reedus23
reedus,23,
Oh, maybe not quite crazy, but only borderline paranoid!
I might have made her walk home and follow along behind. :
Oh, maybe not quite crazy, but only borderline paranoid!
I might have made her walk home and follow along behind. :
Posted on 11/3/12 at 12:30 am to SoCalMIZ
...I realized at that moment that I was standing around with a bunch of Mizzou recruits. "We'll, I'm screwed", I thought. They're gonna know I'm not supposed to be in here, and my friends are gonna get in trouble. Needless to say I was a bit intimidated.
Coach Smith approached me, I was prepared for the ensuing shite storm. Coach looks me up and down, extends his hand, and says, "We'd love to have you at Mizzou next year, I hope you enjoyed yourself, glad you could come out."
Yep, I was a Mizzou recruit for about 5 mins. A truly glorious moment in SoCal's life. Later that night I accompanied most of the team to the Black and Gold, where I posed as the kicker in a valiant attempt to hit on some Golden Girls. Unfortunately, they were not impressed.
Yet another chapter in my crazy life.
Coach Smith approached me, I was prepared for the ensuing shite storm. Coach looks me up and down, extends his hand, and says, "We'd love to have you at Mizzou next year, I hope you enjoyed yourself, glad you could come out."
Yep, I was a Mizzou recruit for about 5 mins. A truly glorious moment in SoCal's life. Later that night I accompanied most of the team to the Black and Gold, where I posed as the kicker in a valiant attempt to hit on some Golden Girls. Unfortunately, they were not impressed.
Yet another chapter in my crazy life.
Posted on 11/4/12 at 10:14 pm to SoCalMIZ
Time for another tiger tale bogie, socalmiz, mizzou kills, jafo, semotruman, zou_keeper
you have your choice of My trip to gay arse Baker Beach in San Fransisco or Why I only have 9.5 toes? Or a couple other goodies like the time I had the cops called on me by my mistaken parents for refusing to mow the lawn, or the time my sister turned my parents into family services
Choose a category
you have your choice of My trip to gay arse Baker Beach in San Fransisco or Why I only have 9.5 toes? Or a couple other goodies like the time I had the cops called on me by my mistaken parents for refusing to mow the lawn, or the time my sister turned my parents into family services
Choose a category
Posted on 11/4/12 at 10:34 pm to MizzouSEC2012
I chose time the parental unit called the cops on you.
Posted on 11/4/12 at 10:48 pm to Bogie00
Yeah that was quite an experience for a 14 year old and is probably one of the reasons I chose to disown those pricks. Anyway I was hoping you would chose the other but here it goes So did I ever tell you I lived in a hell hole and wanted out of that place to begin with. My sister and her husband actually came close to becoming my legal guardians when I was a junior in high school but I was afraid to move 
. So back to the story about the hell hole, we never had chores assigned to us while growing up and with a house of 5 brothers it became filthy pretty quick. However I made it my duty every Saturday to mow the lawn for two reasons. The first was I didn't want the neighbors to know we lived like a bunch of rabid dogs, and mowing the yard is something that can really make everything on the outside of your home seem much better. The second was whoever mowed the yard every Saturday my parents would TREAT to a Saturday night dinner, even though it was my parents responsibility to feed us since we still weren't old enough to take care of ourselves and this was their idea of a reward, FEEDING US! So on one summer day I decided to put my fricking foot down...
. So back to the story about the hell hole, we never had chores assigned to us while growing up and with a house of 5 brothers it became filthy pretty quick. However I made it my duty every Saturday to mow the lawn for two reasons. The first was I didn't want the neighbors to know we lived like a bunch of rabid dogs, and mowing the yard is something that can really make everything on the outside of your home seem much better. The second was whoever mowed the yard every Saturday my parents would TREAT to a Saturday night dinner, even though it was my parents responsibility to feed us since we still weren't old enough to take care of ourselves and this was their idea of a reward, FEEDING US! So on one summer day I decided to put my fricking foot down...Posted on 11/4/12 at 10:54 pm to MizzouSEC2012
So on one Saturday morning when I woke up my parents had already left and gone out to their Saturday morning breakfast and left all the kids at home to find for themselves as usual. I was pissed off because their was nothing in the house to eat, and I knew my parents we're going to come home expecting the lawn to be mowed as usual, and they would treat me to their regular 5 dollar dinner at PERKINS! 
. So anyways I said frick it and left the mower parked in the garage and ended up dumping out the remaining gasoline in the gas jug so I would at least have a solid excuse for when they returned home about why I didn't mow the yard. Then I was off to my friends house who lived down the street from us....
. So anyways I said frick it and left the mower parked in the garage and ended up dumping out the remaining gasoline in the gas jug so I would at least have a solid excuse for when they returned home about why I didn't mow the yard. Then I was off to my friends house who lived down the street from us....Posted on 11/4/12 at 10:57 pm to SoCalMIZ
quote:-SoCal-
Yet another chapter in my crazy life.
While I am waiting for SM2 to compose his latest tale, just wanted to say I enjoyed your brush with Mizzou football. I even got to read it before you redacted real names.
Your secret is safe with me! I'm still smiling about the redaction part! Not that you decided to withdraw real names, but that you used that term. Intelligent life exists on this board!Posted on 11/4/12 at 11:02 pm to MizzouSEC2012
I'm listening....you can pick your next story. 9.5 toes ??
Posted on 11/4/12 at 11:04 pm to MizzouSEC2012
So while at my friends house I knew there would be food to eat even though it was kind of disgusting that this was a measure I had to take. We ended up going down to this park close by our houses where there was a field big enough to play baseball at. So we're playing and my parents returned home from their fricking breakfast surprised to find out I hadn't already mowed the lawn. Too fricking bad for me they pretty much knew right where I would be. They end up driving down to the park even though it is only like a 1/10 of a mile because they're fat and too lazy to walk down to the park and confront me in front of my friends about not mowing the yard. The clever little fricking teen that I was by dumping out the gasoline I had the perfect excuse. There's no fricking gasoline to start the mower! So my parents tell me they will run me up to the gas station to get the gas and I could return when I finished the lawn. I said why don't you go get the gas and I'll return when you have the gas to start the mower, and I knew this would only be like 10 minutes but I was not going to mow that fricking yard that day. So we proceed to play baseball and a few minutes later they're back down at the field ready to drive me back up to the house, and I was pissed at them for making me look like a jackass in front of my friends. So I said in so many words "GO frick YOURSELF" I'm not mowing your fricking yard for you today get your fat arse out their in the 90 degree heat on an empty stomach and do it. For some reason this pissed them off and I didn't give a shite and these mistaken parents threaten to call the cops if I don't return to the house to mow the fricking lawn so I said you go right ahead I'm sure they would love to see how you're abusing us. And off they went back up to the house, and I'm thinking to myself I know those frickers aren't going to call the cops on me, I won 
Posted on 11/4/12 at 11:14 pm to MizzouSEC2012
Well about 30 minutes later we're still playing at the park and all of the sudden two fricking Liberty Police Department squad cars roll up and I'm thinking that stupid BITCHHHHHHHHHH. The two cops get out of their cars and come over to the field to confront us and ask which one of you is ??????? and I sheepishly said I was. The dicks drive me back up to my parents house who are waiting on the porch like fat asses drinking their soda, and walk me over to them. My mistaken parents explain that I refuse to mow the lawn, and they're tired of my shite and don't want to put up with me anymore. Standing there I think to myself why don't I invite them inside so they can see we have no fricking food in the house, and the other living conditions. So I end up sitting down on the porch step and begin to stare off into space and rolled my eyes at something one of the cops said about them providing me a roof over my head, clothing and food! Then this fricker walks right up to my face and proceeds to tell me I may treat my parents like shite but I won't ever roll my eyes at him again and steps on my foot while he is right up in my grill. I said frick to myself you don't even know the half of it shite for brains, but he ended up telling me I would either mow the yard or He could take me to the detention center and I could spend a night in jail . So I took the fricking high road for the only time in my life because law enforcement was involved and mowed the fricking yard the shittiest I possibly could. Crooked lines! Missed spots! and I believe shortly after this I had another encounter with law enforcement for my benefit when my sister tipped off child services about the poor living conditions
. So I took the fricking high road for the only time in my life because law enforcement was involved and mowed the fricking yard the shittiest I possibly could. Crooked lines! Missed spots! and I believe shortly after this I had another encounter with law enforcement for my benefit when my sister tipped off child services about the poor living conditions Posted on 11/4/12 at 11:15 pm to MizzouSEC2012
SM2,
Nobody gets to choose their parents, but we do get to choose how we let them affect our adult life. Forgive 'em and move on. If nothing else, you know what not to do, if and when you choose the family route.
Nobody gets to choose their parents, but we do get to choose how we let them affect our adult life. Forgive 'em and move on. If nothing else, you know what not to do, if and when you choose the family route.
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