From a Doctor friend who is also a Dawg...made my morning. We nagged him to do this Friday.

Well, if you missed it on Friday a patient of mine was denied work leave even though I gave him a note excusing him from work. His employer stated he needed more detail in the letter and that my good word wasn't enough to give him the time off.
Here's the letter I wrote in response to their request for more details. All identifying names and job descriptions have been redacted and the actual letter was a bit different in places. Also, brevity is not my strong suit. Hope it's worth the read.
April 27, 2015
To Whom It May Concern:;
It was brought to my attention that my previous letter of 8/5/14 was not in enough detail to grant the time off work I stipulated at that time for my patient [name redacted] Personally I don’t think it’s any of your damn business. As a board certified physician I’m telling you the patient wasn’t able to perform the stated duties of his job. Granted I’m not a [job redacted] and may not understand the inner workings of [job redacted] but then again I’m a well educated man who likes to believe I possess at least a basic understanding of the job [name redacted] performs for your company. As such, he has informed me that he is ok with releasing the details of illness in order for you to reconsider his requested time off. Buckle up, this should be fun.
On August 4th 2014 [name redacted] presented to me complaining of several days of pain, itching, and bleeding from his rectal area. He was in exquisite pain and in obvious distress. Sweat beaded on his brow and he wasn’t his normal jolly self. Something was obviously amiss. I was not surprised to find the cause of this pain was a hemorrhoid. What was surprising was the size of this thing. It was an all timer, one of if not the largest one I’ve ever encountered. Take a look at your thumb. Now imagine that thumb is a hemorrhoid, engorged with blood, and sporting an ulceration in the middle that would occasionally bleed. Reckon that hurts? You bet it does.
Due to his obvious discomfort and the burning, searing pain we decided to perform an operation here within the office that day. After placing him supine and having a nurse manually retract his buttocks (doctor speak for “she spread his cheeks for me”) I stuck an inch and half needle in various points around his rectum. With this needle I injected lidocaine with epinephrine in order to numb the area. If you thought he was in pain before, you should see how bad it got when I started jabbing a needle as long as your little finger in that general area. Being the trooper that he is, [name redacted] held the foul language to a minimum. I appreciated his discretion as some of my patients are understandably averse to foul language at levels greater than 110dB’s.
Once I felt the hemorrhoid was appropriately numb, (I grabbed it and squeezed. Hard. He didn’t scream.) it was time to get to the remedy. For this I utilized an 11 blade. Unlike the typical curved scalpel used to open someone for surgery, incising a hemorrhoid or pus filled abscess requires something with which you can stab and then tear. The 11 blade is the appropriate tool. It’s a sharp, incisor like blade is somewhat analogous to the spear favored by the famed Zulu warriors in Africa that were great for disembowelment of their enemies.
With his cheeks again spread by my assistant I took the 11 blade and opened up the hemorrhoid. Remember it was the size of your thumb. Ginormous in the world of hemorrhoids. A blue ribbon winner at the state fair kind of appendage. Anyway, draw a line down the middle of your thumb splitting it in half lengthwise. That’s what I did to the hemorrhoid thanks to the razor sharp 11 blade. Clotted blood oozed out of the incision much like the innards of the Tauntaun in Star Wars Episode V. I next utilized a hemostat to get as much clot out of the hemorrhoid as I could, which took a good bit of spelunking around in the cavity to ensure as much of the clot(s) was removed as humanly possibly. I finally just squeezed it to get every last bit of blood and clot out as I could. Unlike the aforementioned movie I didn’t put anything back into the hemorrhoid as I hoped it would shrink up and scar down thus eliminating future issues and problems.
Surprisingly, [name redacted] tolerated this all quite well. He was sent home with orders to pop pain pills, sit in a hot bath for long periods of time, and to avoid prolonged sitting for several days.
Want to know the really unfortunate thing about the whole endeavor? [name redacted] has some superhuman ability to heal himself. The next day he presented again to my office and somehow the 1.5 inch incision in the hemorrhoid had as if by magic healed. Clotted blood re-accumulated and the hemorrhoid I’d deflated one day previously was back, just as angry and pissed off as ever. At this point I suggested he name it since it was so large and seemed likely to stick around for awhile. He found this much less amusing than I did.
With no other choice we had to repeat all the actions of the previous day. Go to paragraph #2 above, substitute August 5th 2014 for the date, and re-read this letter to this point to see what was peformed this second time around. Should you still have doubt as to his need for the granted leave time, it will do you some good to read it again and allow you to get a better feel for the situation.
It doesn’t take a mental giant to see that [name redacted] was indeed unable to safely [job redacted] for 10-14 hours. His arse was bleeding, I had violated his nether region with my blade, and he was in significant pain. Does [employer redacted] really want their employees leaving bloody discharge all over their seats? No, I didn’t think so.
Now that you have the details you requested I humbly suggest that you look favorably on my previous assertion that [name redacted] was indeed unable work from 8/4/14 to 8/9/15. Should you need any more information please contact me at my office.