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Best Aggie joke?
Posted on 2/5/15 at 6:57 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 6:57 pm
How many to change a light bulb?
3: 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder.
3: 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder.
19
Posted on 2/5/15 at 6:58 pm to johnpayne
Losing to both Jordan Jefferson and Anthony Jennings in The Great State of Texas.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:01 pm to johnpayne
How do you fit three aggies on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Turn it upside down.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:02 pm to johnpayne
Why did the aggie cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
This post was edited on 2/5/15 at 7:49 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:13 pm to johnpayne
What do you call an Aggie ten years after he graduates?
Boss or Sir.
Boss or Sir.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:17 pm to johnpayne
Their football team? :rimshot:
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:17 pm to johnpayne
An Aggie and a Longhorn jump off a building at the same time, who hits the ground first?
The Longhorn, the Aggie had to stop and ask for directions.
The Longhorn, the Aggie had to stop and ask for directions.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:29 pm to johnpayne
Two Aggie boys standing on the corner watching a dog lick it's balls, one Aggie boy says to the other "Damn I sure wish I could do that!" and the other Aggie boy says "Well I reckon you'd better pet him first" 
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:33 pm to johnpayne
Two Aggies bunk together at school and on a Sunday morning one decides he’s going to attend church. He leaves and is gone several hours. When he comes back he’s got 2 black eyes.
His roommate says to him, “Wow, what happened to you! I thought you were going to church.”
The other Aggie said, “I did go to church”.
His roommate looked confused. “But how did you get those 2 black eyes?”
“Well, it’s simple really. The church I decided to go to didn’t have air conditioning. So when the service got going, it was really hot in there and all of us were sweating up a storm. Then when we got up to sing the first hymn, I noticed the kinda big woman in front of me had her dress stuck up between her butt so I reached over and yanked it out!”
“Ohhhh,” said the Aggie roommate, “that explains one black eye, how’d you get the other one?”
“Well”, the beatup Aggie said, “After she hit me so hard I figured she must have wanted it there so I tucked it back in!”
His roommate says to him, “Wow, what happened to you! I thought you were going to church.”
The other Aggie said, “I did go to church”.
His roommate looked confused. “But how did you get those 2 black eyes?”
“Well, it’s simple really. The church I decided to go to didn’t have air conditioning. So when the service got going, it was really hot in there and all of us were sweating up a storm. Then when we got up to sing the first hymn, I noticed the kinda big woman in front of me had her dress stuck up between her butt so I reached over and yanked it out!”
“Ohhhh,” said the Aggie roommate, “that explains one black eye, how’d you get the other one?”
“Well”, the beatup Aggie said, “After she hit me so hard I figured she must have wanted it there so I tucked it back in!”
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:40 pm to johnpayne
Two Aggies walked into a bar. A gay bar.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:50 pm to johnpayne
Really? You could at least come up with a joke revolving around time-honored Aggie traditions like yell leaders and playing the Longhorns in the annual Steers vs Queers game. Instead you went with a generic joke that works for pretty much any group you want to make fun of. I am not amused.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:55 pm to johnpayne
How do you confuse an Aggie?
Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.
5 Aggies riding in a pickup truck drove off a bridge, the 2 in the cab survived and the 3 in the back drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate open.
Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.
5 Aggies riding in a pickup truck drove off a bridge, the 2 in the cab survived and the 3 in the back drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate open.
Posted on 2/5/15 at 7:56 pm to johnpayne
How much does it cost for an Aggie haircut?
$4.00. One dollar for each side.
$4.00. One dollar for each side.
This post was edited on 2/5/15 at 7:58 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:01 pm to johnpayne
what do aggies and longhorns have in common?
they both applied to UTA
they both applied to UTA
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:03 pm to johnpayne
How many male LSU fans do I want to engage in coitus anus after a long night of reflecto-penis tuckus and fat bitchorcus filetus?
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:04 pm to johnpayne
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.
He burned his lips on the tailpipe.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.
He burned his lips on the tailpipe.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.
This post was edited on 2/5/15 at 8:06 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:04 pm to johnpayne
They found a skeleton under the Texas A&M Library today.
Turns out to be the 1965 Hide and Seek champion.
Turns out to be the 1965 Hide and Seek champion.
This post was edited on 2/5/15 at 8:13 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:06 pm to johnpayne
How many male LSU fans do I want to engage in coitus anus after a long night of reflecto-penis tuckus and fat bitchorcus filetus?
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:24 pm to johnpayne
Here's an oldie but goody and can be applied to pretty much any SEC fanbase, you bigoted P.O.S.s.
A TAMU grad who wanted to get a divorce went to the lawyer office next to the optometrist at his favorite Wal-Mart. He walks in and announces, 'Hey, I need to get one of them dah-vorces I been hearin' about.'
The lawyer said, 'Okay, that's what I do. So first off, do you have any grounds?' The TAMU grad replies, 'Yess, I got 40 acres right outside Waco.'
The lawyer says, 'No, you don't understand. What I'm asking is, do you have a suit?'
The TAMU grad says, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church every single Sunday.'
The lawyer said, 'No, what I mean is, do you got yourself a case?' The TAMU grad points to his green baseball cap and says, 'No, ain't got a Case. I'm a John Deere man.'
So the lawyer said, 'No, what I mean is, do you have a grudge?' The TAMU grad said,'Yessir, I gots me a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere'
The lawyer sighs and tries again, 'Does she cheat?' The TAMU grad says, 'Yeah, but so do I. Poker ain't no fun if you don't cheat.'
The lawyer shakes his head and asks, 'Okay, fine. Does your wife beat you or something?' The TAMU grad says, 'Hell, she can't cheat that good."
By now the lawyer is getting really frustrated but tries one last question .So he asks, 'What about how y'all get along. For instance, is your wife a nagger?'
The TAMU grad shakes his head and replies, 'No, but our new baby boy is and that's why I wants a dah-vorce.'
A TAMU grad who wanted to get a divorce went to the lawyer office next to the optometrist at his favorite Wal-Mart. He walks in and announces, 'Hey, I need to get one of them dah-vorces I been hearin' about.'
The lawyer said, 'Okay, that's what I do. So first off, do you have any grounds?' The TAMU grad replies, 'Yess, I got 40 acres right outside Waco.'
The lawyer says, 'No, you don't understand. What I'm asking is, do you have a suit?'
The TAMU grad says, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church every single Sunday.'
The lawyer said, 'No, what I mean is, do you got yourself a case?' The TAMU grad points to his green baseball cap and says, 'No, ain't got a Case. I'm a John Deere man.'
So the lawyer said, 'No, what I mean is, do you have a grudge?' The TAMU grad said,'Yessir, I gots me a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere'
The lawyer sighs and tries again, 'Does she cheat?' The TAMU grad says, 'Yeah, but so do I. Poker ain't no fun if you don't cheat.'
The lawyer shakes his head and asks, 'Okay, fine. Does your wife beat you or something?' The TAMU grad says, 'Hell, she can't cheat that good."
By now the lawyer is getting really frustrated but tries one last question .So he asks, 'What about how y'all get along. For instance, is your wife a nagger?'
The TAMU grad shakes his head and replies, 'No, but our new baby boy is and that's why I wants a dah-vorce.'
This post was edited on 2/5/15 at 8:25 pm
Posted on 2/5/15 at 8:54 pm to johnpayne
Drivers ed has been canceled at atm.
The mule died.
That also stopped sex ed.
The mule died.
That also stopped sex ed.
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