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Messages from pondwater jack
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:18 pm
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:18 pm
Folks, ole jacks is tied up with his new job at the moment - new old job actually, giving the ice cream truck gig another go - and so he wanted me to relay some messages to you all - "Massages" he said... He said "Harry Rex, can you deliver some Japanese massages to Tiger Drippins fer me?" I said "Japanese?" and he said "I thank so..." but he had a bewildered look on his face.
So anyway, I am. I'm delivering Jack's 'Japanese massages' to you all. (Jacks is being followed on twitter by "Asian Tractor Parts")
Firstly, jack wanted me to thank hogfaninnc, LCT and Rig for all they done to help him through his dark period. See, jack has spells. He don't like to talk about them since they churn up old memories of having to run from holy rollin cannibals as a child in Ft Smith, Arkansas. Can't blame him. That's got to be traumatic for a young person, and sure enough, he allowed his demons to follow him into adulthood. So let me just skip forward and say that jack was able to clear his mind of all that during the best times, the times he was logged into Tiger Droppings on his Obamaphone. Best time of his life. He felt pure then, and so he wanted to say thanks.
Secondly, jack would like to say he's guaranteeing a victory over Georgia in Little Rock. I'll just copy and paste his ramble on this one and move on: "Harry Rax, tell'm Gorga ain't coming to play cause Marc Rich is medi okra! Undercooked and limp and got two much greasy green taste! Spentin all his time in religious movies and not enough time helpin his plaers lern the real lessons of life. RUNNIN HIS PLAERS OFF TO AUBUNN AND THAT AINT WHAT JESUS WOULD DO! LEAVIN M TO FEND FOR THERSELVES AT AUBURN! Man ats some kind of sinner!"
Don't shoot the messenger on that please. I don't charge Jack much for representing him, but I'm just doing my job.
Finally, Jack said he's got an investment opportunity for any of you who want to DM him on Twitter. Something about give this one guy $10 dollars and then find a bunch of other guys who'll give other people $10, and so on.
Now if yall wanna say hello to Jack, here's your forum for it. LINK - he'd love to hear from you.
Thank you
Harry Rex Vonner
Glimmerman To The Downtrodden
So anyway, I am. I'm delivering Jack's 'Japanese massages' to you all. (Jacks is being followed on twitter by "Asian Tractor Parts")
Firstly, jack wanted me to thank hogfaninnc, LCT and Rig for all they done to help him through his dark period. See, jack has spells. He don't like to talk about them since they churn up old memories of having to run from holy rollin cannibals as a child in Ft Smith, Arkansas. Can't blame him. That's got to be traumatic for a young person, and sure enough, he allowed his demons to follow him into adulthood. So let me just skip forward and say that jack was able to clear his mind of all that during the best times, the times he was logged into Tiger Droppings on his Obamaphone. Best time of his life. He felt pure then, and so he wanted to say thanks.
Secondly, jack would like to say he's guaranteeing a victory over Georgia in Little Rock. I'll just copy and paste his ramble on this one and move on: "Harry Rax, tell'm Gorga ain't coming to play cause Marc Rich is medi okra! Undercooked and limp and got two much greasy green taste! Spentin all his time in religious movies and not enough time helpin his plaers lern the real lessons of life. RUNNIN HIS PLAERS OFF TO AUBUNN AND THAT AINT WHAT JESUS WOULD DO! LEAVIN M TO FEND FOR THERSELVES AT AUBURN! Man ats some kind of sinner!"
Don't shoot the messenger on that please. I don't charge Jack much for representing him, but I'm just doing my job.
Finally, Jack said he's got an investment opportunity for any of you who want to DM him on Twitter. Something about give this one guy $10 dollars and then find a bunch of other guys who'll give other people $10, and so on.
Now if yall wanna say hello to Jack, here's your forum for it. LINK - he'd love to hear from you.
Thank you
Harry Rex Vonner
Glimmerman To The Downtrodden
11
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:21 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
Harry Rex Vonner
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:23 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
All you other arky fans, I'm begging you, please note how this guy is actually funny.
Have an upvote, sir.
Have an upvote, sir.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:23 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
I dont even
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:24 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
The SEC Rant is not the same without Jackson Holly Blasingame II.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:25 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
Drunken, I'm not sure what a upvote is sir, but if I can tip a Memphis stripper with it, I thank you.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:26 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
This reminds me of the majority of the posts on the old WooPig board.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:29 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
It's been a good day on here.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:38 pm to genuineLSUtiger
Genuine, Jack tried woopig and was banned. Some more dark time for him. He may talk about it. He may not.
I'd be remiss not to say, Jacks ran into more trouble financially after thinking he'd purchased some gas wells in Nigeria from some Nigerian soccer fans he met at a bar in Fayetteville during the World Cup. 17 acres of pure money they'd told him. He cleaned out his bank account, bought them endless rounds of beer and thought he'd struck it rich, not to mention made a lot of new friends, but he never received an email back from them.
He WAS able to get his electric bill paid that month by some charitable organization however, so the Good Lord had not completely forgot about ole Jack.
I'll tell him you asked about him.
I'd be remiss not to say, Jacks ran into more trouble financially after thinking he'd purchased some gas wells in Nigeria from some Nigerian soccer fans he met at a bar in Fayetteville during the World Cup. 17 acres of pure money they'd told him. He cleaned out his bank account, bought them endless rounds of beer and thought he'd struck it rich, not to mention made a lot of new friends, but he never received an email back from them.
He WAS able to get his electric bill paid that month by some charitable organization however, so the Good Lord had not completely forgot about ole Jack.
I'll tell him you asked about him.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:39 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
how the hell do yall put another poster's quote in a response on this gotdamn Cajun site anyway?
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:40 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:40 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:40 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
I'm not sure what a upvote is sir, but if I can tip a Memphis stripper with it, I thank you.
welcome back, good sir
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:41 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Danmullins4life wanted me to give you a massage about how you are not him and shouldn't try.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:43 pm to Tds & Beer
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:43 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
how the hell do yall put another poster's quote in a response on this gotdamn Cajun site anyway?
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:45 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
All you other arky fans, I'm begging you, please note how this guy is actually funny.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:49 pm to Pettifogger
Miss State fan, I was trying to quote your drivel and accidentally bookmarked it. So don't get the big head.
And you can tell Dan Mullens to take his arse back to Staten Island College or wherever the hell he came from. Our Yankee coach at Arkansas was a Iowa farm boy growing up, so don't go thinking I gave you some kind of opportunity to respond there.
And you can tell Dan Mullens to take his arse back to Staten Island College or wherever the hell he came from. Our Yankee coach at Arkansas was a Iowa farm boy growing up, so don't go thinking I gave you some kind of opportunity to respond there.
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:53 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Posted on 7/21/14 at 7:55 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
100+ pages, upvotes
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