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Your Humble Pimpness has received Unthinkable Correspondence from a Member Inst.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:33 pm
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:33 pm
Today the unimaginable happened. The worst possible thing that could happen short of worldwide nuclear annihilation, a sudden compulsory male yoga pants dress code or a 90's Boy Band Reunion Tour.
The oldest Pimpette (sorry no pics) received a disgusting and scandalous letter.
So as I see it, I have only ONE logical option, and that is an Honor Killing. Ok maybe that's a little too Radical Muslim for your tastes. Maybe I can drop her off somewhere a little less insidious, like at Scientology Headquarters or Up With People. Or send her to a year abroad in Latvia or with The Russian Circus.
Anyhow, prayers appreciated....
The oldest Pimpette (sorry no pics) received a disgusting and scandalous letter.
quote:
Dear Pimpette:
Because of your high academic achievements, you are specifically invited to apply to UA Early College, The University of Alabama's premier program for high-achieving high school students. We offer year-round opportunities to earn University of Alabama college credit in an engaging, interactive, online environment while you are still in High School/ And next summer you may be eligible to participate in the UA Early College Summer On Campus experience in which you live, dine and take classes on the beautiful UA campus...yada...yada...yada...many more paragraphs of flowery enticing language filled with ugly Gumpisms complete with that Luciferian "A" script logo.
So as I see it, I have only ONE logical option, and that is an Honor Killing. Ok maybe that's a little too Radical Muslim for your tastes. Maybe I can drop her off somewhere a little less insidious, like at Scientology Headquarters or Up With People. Or send her to a year abroad in Latvia or with The Russian Circus.
Anyhow, prayers appreciated....
11
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:34 pm to Lsupimp
Alabama is a much better educational institution than LSU. I have no idea why this would incense you.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:35 pm to Lsupimp
T&P 
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:36 pm to Lsupimp
Congrats that your kiddo is doing well in school 
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:37 pm to Tornado Alley
Football is more important than her education, idiot.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:38 pm to Lsupimp
I bet your daughter is super hot.
Let her go to Alabama. It's a great school.
Let her go to Alabama. It's a great school.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:40 pm to Patton
quote:
Football is more important than her education, idiot.
Thank You.
Jesus this place is slipping.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:40 pm to BayouBengals03
quote:
I bet your daughter is super hot.
Creepy
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:42 pm to Lsupimp
Who gives a shite? 
Can't you find a more appropriate place to brag about your daughter?
Can't you find a more appropriate place to brag about your daughter?
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:43 pm to Lsupimp
Throw that fricking letter in the garbage. Nothing with a Bama logo gets in my house.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 12:46 pm to Pavoloco83
quote:
Nothing with a Bama logo gets in my house.
They probably disguise it like bill collectors.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 1:05 pm to Pavoloco83
quote:
Throw that fricking letter in the garbage. Nothing with a Bama logo gets in my house.
This seems sane. You seem sane.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 1:21 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
sorry no pics
Posted on 8/31/15 at 1:30 pm to Lsupimp
Send her to a convent school high in the Andes before it's too late.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 1:43 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
So as I see it, I have only ONE logical option, and that is an Honor Killing.
Only if she actually expressed interest do you have to go this radical. If she only warned you about the letter--or if she still hasn't seen it--simply toss it and move on.
Or, since it appears to be an ONLINE program, if she never has to set foot in enemy territory, go ahead and sign up. If she can get her core classes out of the way at less cost to Mr. and Mrs. Pimp (even in Gump Math, 2+2=4), take advantage of it.
Posted on 8/31/15 at 1:49 pm to Lsupimp
quote:So far you've done something right in raising your daughter, she is an exceptional student. You are to be commended.
Lsupimp
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