Started By
Message

re: Team Speed Kills: Gus Malzahn luckiest coach in the BCS era

Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:07 pm to
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:07 pm to
Porker says to IHamthatIHam, "So, sex at my place?"

"Hell yeah, bro!"

"Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother Stonehog and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we must have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?"

Later that evening when things between Porker and iHam start to heat up, iHam starts yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!"

The younger brother, Stonehog, says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 1:09 pm
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
105399 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:08 pm to
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:13 pm to

Stonehog, Porker, and iHam go to a ski lodge for the weekend.

There weren't enough rooms, so they had to share a bed. In the middle of the night, Porker (laying on right side of the bed) wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

iHam (on the left side of the bed) wakes up and unbelievably he's had the same dream, too.

Then Stonehog (laying in the middle) wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
105399 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:14 pm to
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:17 pm to
One day Little Porker asks his older brother, Stonehog, "How come when I come in to your bedroom and you're on top of iHam, you tell me that you two are making a sandwich? But, after a while when I come back in again, you tell me you're eating a sausage?!"
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
105399 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:22 pm to
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:24 pm to

Two prostitutes named Stonehog and Porker are standing on a corner. Porker says, "Tonight is gonna be a good night. I can smell the dick in the air."

Stonehog replies, "Sorry, I just burped."
Posted by auburnphan23
Member since Jan 2014
5862 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:27 pm to
anybody that puts nick saban toward the bottom in luck is full of shite. guy could literally still have Zero national championships without luck
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 1:30 pm to
Two sperms named Porker and iHam are racing to reach the ovule. After a minute, Porker asks iHam, "Hey, how much longer until we reach the ovaries?"

Up ahead iHam sees a sign and as they approach it he yells, "frick! We just passed Stonehog's tonsils!"




Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35471 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:05 pm to
quote:

Saban getting a rematch against LSU and being the only two loss BCS coach trump all that stats bullshite you just posted

You giving Saban credit for 2007?
Posted by Herman Frisco
Bon Secour
Member since Sep 2008
17263 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:06 pm to
Don't care what you say, Killz is funny.
Posted by MaroonMonsoon
Canton
Member since Aug 2014
3875 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:14 pm to
quote:

WhitewaterDawg




Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:26 pm to
Herman Frisco and BowlJackson are trying to create a password for their new computer. Herman enters "Mypenis", submits the new password, and BowlJackson falls on the ground laughing because the computer screen immediately displayed the following message: Error. Not long enough.
Posted by Herman Frisco
Bon Secour
Member since Sep 2008
17263 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:41 pm to
You been talking to my wife?
Posted by Upperaltiger06
North Alabama
Member since Feb 2012
3944 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:41 pm to
Statistics prove that it's not luck. How could one guy randomly have so much. He is responsible for his success.
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
105399 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:46 pm to
quote:

You been talking to my wife?


Killz did try calling but he didn't answer.
Posted by Razorback Reverend
Member since Dec 2013
22732 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 2:50 pm to
Comic genius, I tell ya...

And to think I would have been Killz Daddy, gut the neighborhood Bull Dog beat me across the fence..

Not sure if he had a Jawga or Mississippi accent!

Woof!
Posted by Herman Frisco
Bon Secour
Member since Sep 2008
17263 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 3:00 pm to
U just jelly because I took it from u.
Posted by Razorback Reverend
Member since Dec 2013
22732 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 3:11 pm to
you must be on Fart Smeller... I tell ya!
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 3:43 pm to
Herman comes home from a hard day of work to find RockyMnt all all fours with his bare arse facing the fire place.

Herman asks, "Honey, what are you doing?"

RockyMnt replies, "I'm heating up your dinner, silly."
first pageprev pagePage 2 of 3Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow SECRant for SEC Football News
Follow us on Twitter and Facebook to get the latest updates on SEC Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitter