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Knoxville News Sentinel - SEC Chasing Harbaugh
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:00 pm
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:00 pm
Since Harbaugh took UM to Rome, the author of this story has a little fun with where each SEC coach should take his team.
A few highlights:
Knoxville News
A few highlights:
quote:
LSU: Anywhere in France
It’s questionable Cajun coach Ed Orgeron and your average French citizen would speak the same dialect. However, a man ripping off his shirt and bellowing in a deep voice translates in any language.
quote:
Ole Miss: Alcatraz
The Rebels might as well get used to prison since they are headed to NCAA jail.
quote:
South Carolina: Clemson
Clemson players seem to have so much fun playing for Dabo Swinney. And South Carolina coach Will Muschamp usually seems so angry about something.
Knoxville News
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Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:01 pm to IStillMissDanny
This should go well. SEC living rent free in your vacuous noggin.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:04 pm to IStillMissDanny
off season is in full bloom even in the press...
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:04 pm to IStillMissDanny
quote:
Tennessee: Israel
Nevermind that the tiny nation is surrounded by enemies. It has defended its borders for years. Surely, it could teach Tennessee something about defense.
I highly approve of this savagery against the local team.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:07 pm to IStillMissDanny
If only the writer was any good. How does he get paid for that shite?
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:13 pm to bigDgator
quote:
If only the writer was any good. How does he get paid for that shite?
Well, it is in Knoxville.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:15 pm to IStillMissDanny
Clemson fan reading local SEC papers, why am I not surprised?
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:20 pm to Torch
quote:
I highly approve of this savagery against the local team.
Ol Ron Morris at The State made this dude look like the biggest homer imaginable with his constant bickering with Spurrier. The famous "What do you want me to do, Ron?" press conference was the beginning of the end for First Amendment rights at USCe.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 3:30 pm to IStillMissDanny
quote:
biggest homer imaginable
By comparison to tGOAT Mr. Morris, perhaps. In the context of the article, I feel like the Tennessee line is as much of a barb as any of the others, except, perhaps Ole Miss/Alcatraz.
It speaks directly to specific poor play on the field, whereas most of the others are just generalizations based on common opinions/stereotypes of the teams and coaches.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 4:45 pm to IStillMissDanny
quote:
Knoxville News
Link fail, can you list the rest of the SEC schools?
Posted on 5/18/17 at 4:53 pm to IStillMissDanny
Butch Jones should carry his players to Ethiopia or Bangladesh, where a life championship actually has a real meaning.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 5:00 pm to Cheese Grits
Alabama: Siberia
Maybe if Alabama had just won another national championship, coach Nick Saban would take the team to some exotic locale. But after losing to Clemson, my guess is he would want a tougher trip.
Any list of “things to do in Siberia” begins with “try to survive.”
Auburn: Lut Desert, Iran
Auburn hates being upstaged by Alabama. So if Alabama goes somewhere as challenging as Siberia, the Tigers need to seek out an even tougher environment.
I googled “toughest places to live on earth,” and Lut Desert, Iran, led the list.
Arkansas: Las Vegas
Coach Bret Bielema met his wife in a Las Vegas casino. And he’s obviously a risk taker. Otherwise, why would he have left Wisconsin for Arkansas?
Florida: Lubbock, Texas
Coach Jim McElwain demonstrated his affinity for transfers by playing two of them at quarterback last season. And there’s no hotter spot for transfers than Texas Tech, where players are leaving so fast you would think the campus is on fire.
Florida probably could pick up a quarterback and a couple of receivers.
Georgia: Siberia
Saban is Georgia coach Kirby Smart’s former boss and longtime mentor. So if Saban’s team is going to Siberia, so is Smart’s.
Sorry, Bulldogs.
Kentucky: Norman, Oklahoma
Coach Mark Stoops can visit with his brother, Bob, while proving to his team that someone in the family has a winning record.
LSU: Anywhere in France
It’s questionable Cajun coach Ed Orgeron and your average French citizen would speak the same dialect. However, a man ripping off his shirt and bellowing in a deep voice translates in any language.
Missouri: Somewhere in the Big 12
Call it a sentimental journey for a program whose best football days were in the Big 12 and the Big Eight.
Mississippi State: Pingdingshan, Henan, China
A team that responds to cowbells should feel at home listening to the “Bell of Good Luck,” which weighs 116 metric tons. Try carrying that into Davis Wade Stadium.
Ole Miss: Alcatraz
The Rebels might as well get used to prison since they are headed to NCAA jail.
South Carolina: Clemson
Clemson players seem to have so much fun playing for Dabo Swinney. And South Carolina coach Will Muschamp usually seems so angry about something.
The Gamecocks could be invigorated by the change in atmosphere.
Tennessee: Israel
Nevermind that the tiny nation is surrounded by enemies. It has defended its borders for years.
Surely, it could teach Tennessee something about defense.
Texas A&M: Big Bend National Park
Everything is bigger and better in Texas. So why go anywhere else?
And Big Bend National Park is so far from anywhere, the team will think it’s visiting a foreign country.
Vanderbilt: A bowling alley
Just to remind the football team that you can win national championships at Vanderbilt. The Commodores won the 2007 NCAA bowling championship.
Maybe if Alabama had just won another national championship, coach Nick Saban would take the team to some exotic locale. But after losing to Clemson, my guess is he would want a tougher trip.
Any list of “things to do in Siberia” begins with “try to survive.”
Auburn: Lut Desert, Iran
Auburn hates being upstaged by Alabama. So if Alabama goes somewhere as challenging as Siberia, the Tigers need to seek out an even tougher environment.
I googled “toughest places to live on earth,” and Lut Desert, Iran, led the list.
Arkansas: Las Vegas
Coach Bret Bielema met his wife in a Las Vegas casino. And he’s obviously a risk taker. Otherwise, why would he have left Wisconsin for Arkansas?
Florida: Lubbock, Texas
Coach Jim McElwain demonstrated his affinity for transfers by playing two of them at quarterback last season. And there’s no hotter spot for transfers than Texas Tech, where players are leaving so fast you would think the campus is on fire.
Florida probably could pick up a quarterback and a couple of receivers.
Georgia: Siberia
Saban is Georgia coach Kirby Smart’s former boss and longtime mentor. So if Saban’s team is going to Siberia, so is Smart’s.
Sorry, Bulldogs.
Kentucky: Norman, Oklahoma
Coach Mark Stoops can visit with his brother, Bob, while proving to his team that someone in the family has a winning record.
LSU: Anywhere in France
It’s questionable Cajun coach Ed Orgeron and your average French citizen would speak the same dialect. However, a man ripping off his shirt and bellowing in a deep voice translates in any language.
Missouri: Somewhere in the Big 12
Call it a sentimental journey for a program whose best football days were in the Big 12 and the Big Eight.
Mississippi State: Pingdingshan, Henan, China
A team that responds to cowbells should feel at home listening to the “Bell of Good Luck,” which weighs 116 metric tons. Try carrying that into Davis Wade Stadium.
Ole Miss: Alcatraz
The Rebels might as well get used to prison since they are headed to NCAA jail.
South Carolina: Clemson
Clemson players seem to have so much fun playing for Dabo Swinney. And South Carolina coach Will Muschamp usually seems so angry about something.
The Gamecocks could be invigorated by the change in atmosphere.
Tennessee: Israel
Nevermind that the tiny nation is surrounded by enemies. It has defended its borders for years.
Surely, it could teach Tennessee something about defense.
Texas A&M: Big Bend National Park
Everything is bigger and better in Texas. So why go anywhere else?
And Big Bend National Park is so far from anywhere, the team will think it’s visiting a foreign country.
Vanderbilt: A bowling alley
Just to remind the football team that you can win national championships at Vanderbilt. The Commodores won the 2007 NCAA bowling championship.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 5:50 pm to IStillMissDanny
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!
You linked a john Adams article with no warning.
BAN HAMMER!!!!
You linked a john Adams article with no warning.
BAN HAMMER!!!!
Posted on 5/18/17 at 6:12 pm to Torch
The Vandy one is weak af. They won the 2014 National Championship in baseball.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 6:20 pm to IStillMissDanny
From the ACC version ...
quote:
Clemson: Northern Idaho
Where they would be surrounded by taters, sheep and the last bastion of fringe elements of the KKK, their three biggest fan bases. Plus there are tons of rocks to rub and hills to run down - they'd feel right at home.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 6:41 pm to IStillMissDanny
Great premise, terrible execution.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 8:01 pm to Goombaw
quote:
Great premise, terrible execution.
Yeah; the combination of Adams ridiculing USCe and Boom by way of Dabo was too much. I rushed it.
It's a long offseason. It'll get better.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 8:53 pm to Torch
quote:
Alabama: Siberia
Maybe if Alabama had just won another national championship, coach Nick Saban would take the team to some exotic locale. But after losing to Clemson, my guess is he would want a tougher trip.
Any list of “things to do in Siberia” begins with “try to survive.”
Auburn: Lut Desert, Iran
Auburn hates being upstaged by Alabama. So if Alabama goes somewhere as challenging as Siberia, the Tigers need to seek out an even tougher environment.
I googled “toughest places to live on earth,” and Lut Desert, Iran, led the list.
quote:
Georgia: Siberia
Saban is Georgia coach Kirby Smart’s former boss and longtime mentor. So if Saban’s team is going to Siberia, so is Smart’s.
Sorry, Bulldogs.
Posted on 5/18/17 at 9:19 pm to theGarnetWay
quote:
Clemson fan reading local SEC papers, why am I not surprised?
What exactly is a local SEC paper, and why am I not surprised that the perennial dregs of the conference are the very ones trying to ride it's coat tails?
Posted on 5/19/17 at 1:34 am to IStillMissDanny
I knew it was John Adams before clicking.
Helpful hint: John Adams is douchebag who know jack shite.
Helpful hint: John Adams is douchebag who know jack shite.
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