I'm starting to feel like Tennessee isn't very popular on the Rant

It's really beginning to hurt my feelings, too. Why do y'all hate us so much?

I mean, sure, we don't have "paved roads" up in East Tennessee, but that just means you don't have to wait for the gub'mint to fix the potholes. You just have some dirt in the back of your pickup truck and fix them yourself.

And yeah, we don't really have "consistent running water," so maybe we don't shower as much as some of you, but did you know how many chemicals there are in some of those bath soaps? Or how you're not supposed to shampoo your hair every day? The fact that we only shampoo our hair maybe once a month is actually a GOOD thing.

And maybe our stadium looks like "a giant erector set beef jerky emporium" and our seats are "too narrow for our asses," but that just makes things cozy. We're friendly people, I don't get why you're so loath to sit near us. It can get cold in Tennessee in the fall, you should appreciate the warmth.

And I get that the particular shade of orange we wear is "liable to burn your retinas in the sun," but it does make us easy to see and greatly reduces the number of pedestrian fatalities, a statistic which I just made up. We look like friggin' traffic cones, at least we're easy to spot.

I guess what I'm saying is, can't we all just get along?

C'mon, y'all. Round of hugs. Who wants a hug?