IM Mr. 30k IT'S A CELEBRATION & LF WILL WIN THE HEISMAN (Bandwidth Warning)

The Man(?), The Myth, The Legend, Mr. 30k himself, Magilla "Ratphuc" Guerilla would like to welcome you to his 30k post thread. Among the downvotes and "TL;DR" posts are some heartfelt moments and memories from my early days as a poster to the times where I went back on self bannings twice. Scroll down for the womerns, for the impatient. Feel free to share some of your SECr moments, like the time you wasted reading this, or the time you congratulated me on a lack of a life.


Humble Beginnings

As EscambiaManToo, I began posting on TigerDroppings(aka what the SECRant is now for you younger folk/Mizzou and A&M fans) on 12-23-08, the day after my 17th birthday. Choosing the name after what county I incorrectly assumed I was moving to, which in fact turned out to be Santa Rosa. Quick to mask my youth, I took on a "insider" persona, which if anyone from the recruiting boards know, that's hilarious considering my stance on them now. Other than calling memphisplaya terrible and getting banned in the hours after the 2009 Bama-LSU for saying,



,I didn't have much acclaim to the name. It was banned until a few years later, in which I called upon a favor from the powers that be to let me post in a memphisplaya birthday thread. Kept it until I was ratted out by Diddy, may he rest in peace, claiming I was recruiting people to another board.

The Prima(te)ry Account

So being the angry little count I was at being banned, I created an account not 4 days after, using my school's computer(again, young angry little count) and a gmail account when they still allowed them(I've deleted and recreated the account since). Don't go thinking I was sly enough to do this first, no, I had 2 accounts shot down by the admin the the days before with the same IP address. The name? Not really sure how it popped into my head. I was a bit of a RATM head then, and homophones amused me. Thus, MagillaGuerilla was born. And not a single person in 6 years has once told me I'm missing a "R" in guerrilla. Not like the JordonfortheJ treatment...and Jordon is spelled wrong.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug, so I don't really remember how I slipped into the IM Threads(back when we jacked a thread instead of making one), but I did and I was a staple. Where I met a lot of great posters and had something to do when I couldn't sleep(and something to blame when I fell asleep in class). Can't remember you all, but I'll throw out a few names:

memphisplaya(wasn't so terrible after all)
BellaBama( )
bamaboy(Enjoyed rollerblading IIRC)
BHP(Would it have been racist if I hadn't written this?)
Alahunter(And his chickens)
FleshEatingSalsa(WHAT DOES IT MEAN)
TTsTowel(NFFC4LYFE)
Chilld28(Who deserves all his success now)
Bow9den(RIP Big 0)
AuburnCPA(Either the Andy Kaufman or Tony Clifton to Diddy)
DirtyDiddyAubie(See above, RIP)
AUCatfish(Who has had the same Avatar, but now with porn stache)
hbt(Who I swear came pre-installed on TigerDroppings)
rbWarEagle(Who either banged a 10 year old or a 10/10 while his neighbor listened and shouted Mortal Kombat quotes, I forget)
RobotSanta(No matter what, nothing is a good as it can be with Bama/Atlanta)
AUNite(And her Booty)
CapstoneGrad(Who enjoys his hookers and blow)
Coastie, Belle, CatFan, semo(Ladies I've glad I've never got on their bad side)
NATidefan & ThaKaptain(HZT Originals)
LCT(Whom I had to google an IM thread for because it was bugging the shite out of me that I couldn't remember his name. "auburn fan" "guitar" "SECr" "IM thread")
beaver(old beaver best beaver)
tuck(wherever you are)
WooPig(And his love of trannies)
pioneerbasketball(Did you ever snort the scratch off dust?)
TT9(The only person I've seen pull off a name change)
ACL(And some numbers)
The Bama Recruiting Board(I don't have a Rivals account anymore, sorry)

I'm sure I missed a bunch, but I still love you.( I know, )

Good times, got my first banning in one under this name. Around Fourth of July, came home and posted drunk, my love of T-Pain, and legit woke up in someone's hot tub. Lasted about a week, and boy was it ruff. I mean, I had to post on the DawgRant during that time, only UGA fans know how bad that is(just kidding UGA fans, you've got enough on your plate).


The second time was a self banning, but Chicken had also deactivated my account. I flipped my shite on the newly created Recruiting Board, calling Chicken out over how premium articles were handled beforehand. It was the wild west, whole articles and everything posted. Didn't get cracked down upon until TD got a cease and desist over it. I understood it was wrong, but going from neglectful/indifferent to super opposing got me buttburt. I spoke with him later in an email, in which he explained what had happened. So I came back, but certainly didn't crawl.

Finally, while I don't have many, here are pics from SECr memory lane:

1) CPA/Diddy Trollcut



2) That time I loved Nick Fairley a litle too much(but I still called that 2010 season)



How spoopy is it the bow9den was Swayze?

3)That time State won a BCS Title:



4) When Reuben Foster fell asleep:





5) BellaBama made a hand turkey, but with a dick



6) That time that fat Auburn guy flamed, and the entire site jumped on him



7) That time Mario Cristobal got his prostate checked



8) When Courtney Upshaw did things the Alabama way



9) That time I posted an ESPN video with me on it, and my identity being revealed:





10) When I legit became afraid of the Rant's abilities





I've watched the Plains burn, I've waited at the local Sonic for half an hour, and I've heard way too much about strippers and a butter bean. I love this place.


Oh and I didn't forget you T&A crowd:






Are you really that surprised? She's not that bad though, take a closer look:

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