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Posted on 12/30/15 at 8:34 am to cas4t
Actually for the first time in a long time I sharted a few months ago. Luckily I was at home. My wife laughed at me.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 8:50 am to cas4t
I shite my pants two years ago. 
I was in the early stages of dating this fine female and stayed the night at her house. Being a new relationship, I didn't want to blow up her bathroom that early in the process. The timing just wasn't right. I had a pair of athletic shorts on and had to leave immediately for work. My idea was to hold it until work and then blow that fricker up.
Well, I got about half way there and was experiencing some MAJOR cramps/stomach pains. I whipped my truck into the gas station parking lot, slammed it in park and jolted to the bathroom. It was an older gas station, so I was worried it would be locked. If it was locked, it was game over. There would be shite everywhere. Well, I busted through the unlocked door and as I swiftly rushed to pull my shorts down and turn around (I swear, the finest D-1 athlete couldn't have made this quick of a move), I ended up shitting. Everywhere. The bathroom was a frickin crime scene. I called to tell my boss I would be about an hour late, because I had an "accident". He thought I had gotten into a car accident when I really had to drive home to hop in the shower and change.
It was the worst.
I was in the early stages of dating this fine female and stayed the night at her house. Being a new relationship, I didn't want to blow up her bathroom that early in the process. The timing just wasn't right. I had a pair of athletic shorts on and had to leave immediately for work. My idea was to hold it until work and then blow that fricker up.
Well, I got about half way there and was experiencing some MAJOR cramps/stomach pains. I whipped my truck into the gas station parking lot, slammed it in park and jolted to the bathroom. It was an older gas station, so I was worried it would be locked. If it was locked, it was game over. There would be shite everywhere. Well, I busted through the unlocked door and as I swiftly rushed to pull my shorts down and turn around (I swear, the finest D-1 athlete couldn't have made this quick of a move), I ended up shitting. Everywhere. The bathroom was a frickin crime scene. I called to tell my boss I would be about an hour late, because I had an "accident". He thought I had gotten into a car accident when I really had to drive home to hop in the shower and change.
It was the worst.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 8:51 am to Crowknowsbest
Yes, yes indeed.
The older you get the sneakier those bastards get.
The older you get the sneakier those bastards get.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 9:09 am to GnashRebel
Posted on 12/30/15 at 9:10 am to Kamikaze25
Oh man that poor gas station employee
Posted on 12/30/15 at 10:30 am to cas4t
A month or two ago. I'm 27. I also shat my pants when I was 24. Before that, the last time was when I was 15. I have Crohn's Disease, so I have many embarrassing and hilarious stories about needing to take a shite somewhere to avoid shitting in my pants. Most of the time I can, but as you can see, I've failed a couple of times in the past three years.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 10:31 am to cas4t
Doing it right now, it's liberating I tell ya.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 10:50 am to cas4t
I'm an elitist liberal, I don't shite.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 11:41 am to cas4t
I don't shite my pants, but when I do, I don't tell strangers about it.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 12:42 pm to cas4t
Amazing how many of you people don't know the difference between a fart and shite. I've got it down to a science.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 1:15 pm to cas4t
In 2005, I made a deiver stop a HUMVEE while on patrol in a small town in Iraq. Jumped out and shite on everything under my waistline in front of 20 to 30 Iraqis. Was sick. Useless for 3 days.
I could've done a handstand and shite on the 20' ceiling inside our transient tents.
I could've done a handstand and shite on the 20' ceiling inside our transient tents.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 5:48 pm to UMRealist
I used to drink lots of liquor on a nightly basis. So shitting my pants was one of the side effects and it became kind of a mainstay if-you-will
This post was edited on 12/30/15 at 5:49 pm
Posted on 12/30/15 at 6:00 pm to cas4t
December, 1997.
Cold as hell. Snow storm came through the Delta, and then it got into the teens behind it.
Went to my buddy's camp. Stayed up most of the night eating fried duck breast and drinking Stag's Leap wine.
Next morning, took the boat into Money Slough. About daylight, I was in a bad way. Tried to make it to the bank, but shite my waders. Took off my long underwear, threw it away, and wiped my arse with snow. Got back into my waders, and killed a limit of mallards.
Cold as hell. Snow storm came through the Delta, and then it got into the teens behind it.
Went to my buddy's camp. Stayed up most of the night eating fried duck breast and drinking Stag's Leap wine.
Next morning, took the boat into Money Slough. About daylight, I was in a bad way. Tried to make it to the bank, but shite my waders. Took off my long underwear, threw it away, and wiped my arse with snow. Got back into my waders, and killed a limit of mallards.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 6:43 pm to Hardy_Har
Great shite yourself stories guys. I appreciate all the shitty feedback.
Posted on 12/30/15 at 6:49 pm to TT9
I'm like Kim Jong Un.
I don't have a butt hole
I don't have a butt hole
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