The Day I Quit the Piggly Wiggly--a kind of funny memory

About 28 years ago, after I graduated from college, the only job I could get was working for $3.35 an hour at the local Piggly Wiggly.

I worked as the potato man in the produce department. Although I was bummed out about making so little money, I enjoyed the hard labor. I was getting strong tossing 100 pound potato bags into a tilted bin that aided rolling them into 10 pound bags.

I did this mindless labor for 6 hour shifts. The managers were all uptight about giving 15 minute breaks...they only gave us 10 minute breaks because they counted the 5 minutes it took to walk back and forth to the break room. Talk about slave drivers and cheap skin flints.

The working atmosphere was hostile. A big gorilla like man was always sexually harassing me but I stood up to him. The women who worked there ignored me which kind of depressed me. My direct boss was a retired Marine sergeant.

On December 23rd I had the day off, but the retired Marine drill sergeant called me in to work. I had been looking forward to getting stoned and going Christmas shopping that day.

Before I was supposed to finish packing the potatoes, he had me rework the apples--moving the old apples on top of the new apples. I didn't move too fast because all I had to look forward when I finished this taks was packing potatoes, an unnecessary task because we had a huge table full of potatoes that were turning green under the lights on display.

The Sergeant told me I was too slow. Suddenly, the task literally bored me to tears. The $3.35 an hour no longer motivated me to stay there.

I clocked out and started to leave. The Marine sergeant couldn't believe a grown man could be bored to tears. He told me he was giving me "constructive criticism." I didn't think telling someone they were too slow was constructive.

I left despite his peptalk.

I got stoned while I drove to the mall. I went Christmas shopping, then stopped at a fancy restaurant bar in the mall and got drunk.

I got so shitfaced, I couldn't find where I parked my car in the mall parking lot. I started circling the mall to try and find it, and I fell down a steep hill, skidding and rolling to the bottom. Too bad there was no youtube video back then.

I picked up a 6 pack of big cans of beer and brought them to my parents house where I was living at the time. My mom always told me I could drink in the house, so I wouldn't get a DUI, but of course, she gave me a hard time about drinking huge cans of beer in the house.

She urged me to grovel for my job back which I did not.

I played Led Zeppelin's "I can't Quit you baby" in my room.

If I had to do it exactly over like I did that day, I would do it again.

I never regretted quitting the Piggly Wiggly.