re: Some interesting pictures and dating advice for women

How else would one sit on an AIDS dick?

Sure it is. Discounting things like Jainism, most religions are very deep and extreme if absolutely adhered to.

Luckily, most followers of most faiths (including Islam) dont literally adhere to all the foundations of their respective religions.

Which is exactly why I'm so curious.

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the dune coons

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dude

I’ve read huge chunks of the Koran, and it’s as repetitive as a Lil Jon song. Here’s the Koran in a tiny Islamic nutshell:

1. Praise be to Allah, the beneficent and merciful.

2. Worship him and repent and quickly rid yourself of anything remotely fun in your life, or he’ll torture you eternally.

Literally translated into the language of more sensible, clean-smelling people such as us, the word “Islam” means “submission.” This pole-stroker who calls himself “Allah” demands you bend over, spread your arse cheeks, and submit to his unreasonable temper, or else he’ll scorch that arse into the desert sand. Pardon me for breathing, but that simply doesn’t sound all that “beneficent and merciful” to me.

If God was perfect—which God would HAVE to be, or else he wouldn’t be God—he would not, under any circumstances, have his feelings hurt. Neither would he be so gallopingly insecure that he’d force anyone who doesn’t like him to roast forever in molten lava. That’s the way fat girls in high school think.

The idea of an angry God—whether it’s Allah, Jehovah, or some floppy-boobed, swamp-counted Earth Mother Goddess—is an inherent contradiction. Insecurity would definitely not be among God’s character traits, much less his primary one. Nothing in creation would make God angry, because, after all, he or she created it.

Yet, for something like 1300 years now, Allah has persisted in being a tyrannical rageaholic. What a dillhole. All the other gods think he’s a dillhole, too. He wakes up on the wrong side of the bed every goddamned morning. Who put the bug up your arse anyway, Allah? Can we say, “anger issues”? Hey, Muslims—next time you lay down on your little prayer carpet and face Mecca, can you ask Allah what the hell his problem is? Can you ask him why his self-esteem is so fragile that he demands you fall on the floor and massage his ego FIVE TIMES A DAY? And while we’re at it, why does he forbid pictures of himself? Does he have acne? Bad teeth? Is he fat? If you’re willing to kill me over the mere idea of Allah’s existence, I at least wanna see a Polaroid of him before I convert.

1980's Lea Thompson. I said goddamn, goddamn.













:thinkingofherinalltherightmoves:


















i came.

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i came.

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Twice?

The first one was premature.

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your dating tip for the evening.

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I only get my dating tips from Kige "MF" Ramsey!

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If God was perfect—which God would HAVE to be, or else he wouldn’t be God—he would not, under any circumstances, have his feelings hurt. Neither would he be so gallopingly insecure that he’d force anyone who doesn’t like him to roast forever in molten lava. That’s the way fat girls in high school think.

The idea of an angry God—whether it’s Allah, Jehovah, or some floppy-boobed, swamp-counted Earth Mother Goddess—is an inherent contradiction. Insecurity would definitely not be among God’s character traits, much less his primary one. Nothing in creation would make God angry, because, after all, he or she created it.

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I agree with this, which is why monotheism is so silly to me. God is always portrayed as shockingly human in terms of his emotions and actions. The God of Abraham (the same one worshipped by all three major monotheistic religions) is a petty, jealous, angry, wrathful and cruel.