re: client's are funny

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I hope you have an editor

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My first thought, too.

That damn Scrooster never dissapoints!

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Live it up, Scrooster. And let's hear some more whore stories.

ETA: Scrooster-have you ever heard that eating pineapple and drinking white wine makes jism taste better to the willing taster? I had a young lady tell me this one time. I asked her how many Hawaiians and gheys she blew to get this information.

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There was this catholic girl I ate cherries with one time along the shores of Lago di Garda ... I have a picture. Her name was Rosetta - her family owned this winery and produced the family vino for 300 years.

She spoke no English. She gave great head but nothing else.

So I would train ride up through the Brenner Pass, through Innsbruck to hit some familiar strange there, then on to Nuremberg to The Wall to satisfy my carnal need for straight-up patooty ... then back to Rosetta in Vicenza (Rosetta la Rock because she would not give me the stinky).

I was 24. She taught me about what girls liked. I learned my lesson well.

Yes ... any sweet fruit, but especially pineapple, peaches and apricots, will tone-down the acidity of out-of-PH-balance cooze.

White wine ... no.

Listen, I know this for a fact.

I used to hit (bang out) this well-known wealthy family gal in Charleston ... stinkiest poontang ever. Could only do it doggy style and then I had to hold a hand over the action to prevent fumes from rising to my alpha male and highly sensitive nostrils. I mean it was some seriously stinky quim.


She ate a lot of fish and, I think, she wiped upwards.

Pussy is what it eats. Most women will admit as much.

Men do. We always have. There was a very famous "funky spunk" episode of .... what was the name of that Kim Catrell HBO series? Anhyways, women note it in men but few admit it to the public.

The ax gash is all about the PH factor and that's all based upon what they put into the system. Southern women are far more coherent of this fact than any other women in the world with the possible exception of Tel Aviv women.

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I read this in Ralph Cifarettos voice on Sopranos

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Then ... well done.

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Now scrooster's sack probably smells like feet because he has to tuck the nuggets in his socks.

Because he's old. It happens.

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Shaving the twins is made easier with age, my friend. You just throw'em over your shoulder and knock it out while your shaving your face.