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Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:44 pm to deltaland
Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:50 pm to StrawsDrawnAtRandom
Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:51 pm to Vols&Shaft83
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:53 pm to Person of interest
How do Aggies practice safe sex?
They get rid of all the animals that kick.
They get rid of all the animals that kick.
Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:56 pm to Person of interest
What do you call a female Aggie who takes birth control pills?
A humanitarian.
A humanitarian.
Posted on 8/23/14 at 1:57 pm to Person of interest
What do you call a female Aggie with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Posted on 8/23/14 at 4:38 pm to Person of interest
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in a mailbox?
Bill
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call two armless and legless men in a shower?
Curt and Rod
Bill
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call two armless and legless men in a shower?
Curt and Rod
Posted on 8/23/14 at 6:24 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
quote:
A lawyer and two friends--a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man--had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening." With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can't sleep on holy ground!"
That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
Posted on 8/23/14 at 11:45 pm to HailHailtoMichigan!
Guy goes to a plastic surgeon, who happens to be Asian, for a consultation about a possible face lift. Doctor examines the guy, then tells him he has Ed Zachary disease.
Guy is thinking "WTF is that? Is it serious?", so he asks the old Asian "What the hell is Ed Zachary disease?"
The doc says "That when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your arse!"
Guy is thinking "WTF is that? Is it serious?", so he asks the old Asian "What the hell is Ed Zachary disease?"
The doc says "That when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your arse!"
Posted on 8/24/14 at 12:24 am to FightinTigersDammit
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at him and says, "We don't serve your kind in here".
The mushroom replies, "Why not, I'm a fungi".
The mushroom replies, "Why not, I'm a fungi".
Posted on 8/24/14 at 1:01 am to asphinctersayswhat
What are Mario's pants made of? Denim...Denim...Denim...(Mario underground theme)
LINK
LINK
Posted on 8/24/14 at 1:09 am to nes2010
Pulled up to a DUI check point the other night drunk as frick. Grabbed a Bud out of the cooler and peeled off the label, then stuck it to my forehead. Pulled up to the cop and he looked me over and said "You been drinkin' tonight son?" I said, hell no, I'm on the patch!
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