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re: 7 Crippling parent behaviors that keep children from growing into leaders
Posted on 1/27/14 at 9:06 am to DMagic
Posted on 1/27/14 at 9:06 am to DMagic
quote:
I blame shitty Pinterest ideas for most of it.
This is the place where overachieving SAHM revel in trying to top one another for most creative and intricate party ideas, all while making normal mothers feel like we're not doing enough to make our children feel special.
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Posted on 1/27/14 at 9:13 am to UMTigerRebel
It's the gap of what they want you to think their life is to what it actually consists of makes them that way. Cognitive dissonance. Which is why most of them are perpetually unhappy.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 9:27 am to DMagic
I know a lot of SAHM's who are great, but I also know some of the ones you're talking about.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 11:39 am to BluegrassBelle
No.7 is spot on.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 3:43 pm to DMagic
quote:
I blame shitty Pinterest ideas for most of it.
Pinterest has gotten me out of spending an absurd amount on money on wedding gifts this last year. Don't hate.
quote:
Like the Florida fan said the wealth of information and sharing over the Internet has made it seem more uniform whereas before you kind of had wing it
Something else I've seen at work with the availability of things like teacher's email addresses and Parent Portal (where parents can see real time grades online 24/7) is a rise in the number of parents who are incredibly overbearing. That I can handle.
The parents I think of when I read the article I posted though are the ones that sue the school district because their child was playing pencil break in the bus holding area with a fellow student and got a piece of graphite stuck in his hand. Instead of taking a pair of tweezers and getting it out, they freak the frick out and take their child to the ER who has to "cut" it out, and then wants to sue the school for not providing "appropriate first aid and supervision". The Catch 22 being that the school can't remove the graphite because of another lawsuit filed by a parent who sued the school district for someone removing a splinter from a student's hand and "causing infection".
Or that I had a mother crying in my office last week because her son cannot use his cell phone during class because she needs to be able to access some kind of tracking app on his phone that shows physically where he is at all times.
Crazy has always been there, but it's been a little different kind of crazy as of late.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:01 pm to BluegrassBelle
Wishitwas98. They need to call the local school and find out who does evaluations of 3 year olds. This kid needs a speech eval and ot eval quickly. The evaluation and therapy will be free but needs to happen sooner rather than later.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:25 pm to BluegrassBelle
The Internet gives the crazy a new outlet to express itself. We are experiencing the culmination of that phenomenon.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:30 pm to BluegrassBelle
I get a kick out of the parents who are pissed that the school has confiscated a kids cellphone and keep it until the end of the year. They knew the policy when school started and signed a form acknowledging the policy, yet they get so pissed off that they withdraw their kid from school so they can get it back.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:33 pm to CroakaBait
quote:
I get a kick out of the parents who are pissed that the school has confiscated a kids cellphone and keep it until the end of the year. They knew the policy when school started and signed a form acknowledging the policy
You mean that page out of the handbook they never read but sign anyway?
quote:
yet they get so pissed off that they withdraw their kid from school so they can get it back.
I've only had one parent pull that. They were none to happy when they couldn't re-enroll their son because they had moved out of our district and couldn't provide proof of address that they were still living in our district.
This post was edited on 1/27/14 at 4:34 pm
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:51 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
You mean that page out of the handbook they never read but sign anyway?
Yep, that's the one!
I like pulling the signature form from their file and showing them where they signed just to rub it in their face, most of them throw up their hands and leave.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:53 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
I've only had one parent pull that. They were none to happy when they couldn't re-enroll their son because they had moved out of our district and couldn't provide proof of address that they were still living in our district.
try having the district "Check out" an ipad to a kid for a year for curriculum.
The amount of BSC stuff that parents and kids will pull to steal a $500 device is amazing. What's even MORE amazing is that when it gets taken up the parents are angry that the school has taken "their" property.
We had one leave the state over the weekend and take the ipad with them. They couldn't enroll their kid because we wouldn't release him and they literally went to a private school just to not have to return the freaking ipad.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:53 pm to BluegrassBelle
It's all about dat documentation! 
Posted on 1/27/14 at 4:56 pm to 3nOut
quote:
We had one leave the state over the weekend and take the ipad with them. They couldn't enroll their kid because we wouldn't release him and they literally went to a private school just to not have to return the freaking ipad.
We haven't moved to letting kids take iPads home at this point for this reason. But we run into this with band and orchestra instruments all the time.
Posted on 1/27/14 at 5:05 pm to Person of interest
quote:
To get a good dose of parents coach little league for a few years, parents are by far worse than the kids.
Same goes for teaching. I can handle a shitty student. There are ways to circumvent the issues, get the kid help, etc. Kids have never been my problem as a teacher. But parents... I've been fortunate to see most students' parents as just wanting to do best for their child (which is typically to trust that I know what I'm doing when I offer educational advice and instruction). But there are those every now and then who either assume everything I'm doing is wrong because their kid is failing (without any reason or proof to suggest that my approach is wrong) or they will hang up on the phone/skip conferences because they just don't give a shite.
This post was edited on 1/27/14 at 5:08 pm
Posted on 1/28/14 at 12:29 am to bird35
quote:
Wishitwas98. They need to call the local school and find out who does evaluations of 3 year olds. This kid needs a speech eval and ot eval quickly. The evaluation and therapy will be free but needs to happen sooner rather than later.
This is what I was thinking but I've only known her family for about a month so obviously I can't really say anything about it
From what I understand if a child can't talk very well then you pretty much can't potty train him, on top of that this kid doesn't seem emotionally ready for potty training anyways
He's gotten to the point that when they change him he starts balling/screaming and then if he knows they put the dirty diaper in the trash he will actually go try (sometimes suceed) to get it back. It's the weirdest damn thing I've ever seen.
Again, I have very little experience with raising kids that young but it certainly doesn't seem right
Posted on 1/28/14 at 12:50 am to BluegrassBelle
Agree with one caveat.
5. We don't share our mistakes.
I think it is wrong to tell your (impressionable) children of some of your mistakes in their specifics-maybe using your experience to give them a platitude to live by works in this scenario. If you go into detail, you may be telling them that what you did was wrong, but you having done it normalizes it and takes you off of a moral high ground when trying to teach a lesson. Eventually you will end up with, "You did it when you were my age!"
I didn't know my parents had any fallacies when I was growing up, because they didn't expose me and my brothers and sisters to them. When we got out of college a few years, my parents would relate a story here and there from their youth or college, and I would think, "I guess now I know why dad and mom taught us XYZ." By that time, I was my own man for the most part, and beyond the impressionable stage.
5. We don't share our mistakes.
I think it is wrong to tell your (impressionable) children of some of your mistakes in their specifics-maybe using your experience to give them a platitude to live by works in this scenario. If you go into detail, you may be telling them that what you did was wrong, but you having done it normalizes it and takes you off of a moral high ground when trying to teach a lesson. Eventually you will end up with, "You did it when you were my age!"
I didn't know my parents had any fallacies when I was growing up, because they didn't expose me and my brothers and sisters to them. When we got out of college a few years, my parents would relate a story here and there from their youth or college, and I would think, "I guess now I know why dad and mom taught us XYZ." By that time, I was my own man for the most part, and beyond the impressionable stage.
This post was edited on 1/28/14 at 12:51 am
Posted on 1/28/14 at 8:36 am to DownSouthJukin
Well, I think there's a time and place to tell your kids of your past mistakes. I don't want to give my kids the impression that I'm perfect, but at the same time I'm not going to tell my 7 year old daughter about all the drugs and stupid shite I did when I was in college. Maybe when she's closer to college aged, I will. Now it's more about telling her about the time I was in 1st grade and took a kid's pencil home because I liked it better than my pencil and what I was forced to do when my parents found out. The lesson is how you handled your mistakes, whether they were handled well or poorly.
Posted on 1/28/14 at 9:26 am to The Spleen
i think they need to know our mistakes, but maybe not all of them at such a young age.
for instance my child needs to know that i make mistakes and say things out of anger as well. I need forgiveness for that like they do. They need to know that dad forgets things as well and it's OK if they do too.
They don't need to know about my mistakes with girls, alcohol, porn, etc at this point. Later on, yes. But explaining to my 7 year old the some of those things will confuse them.
for instance my child needs to know that i make mistakes and say things out of anger as well. I need forgiveness for that like they do. They need to know that dad forgets things as well and it's OK if they do too.
They don't need to know about my mistakes with girls, alcohol, porn, etc at this point. Later on, yes. But explaining to my 7 year old the some of those things will confuse them.
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