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On Behalf of all Arkansas Fans, I want to apologize to this board.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:25 pm
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:25 pm
We're sorry. We haven't been around to troll you guys as we normally do because we've been busy focusing on the upcoming season. This year is different. Rather than just yelling loudly about how things are going to happen, we understand that we are likely to run the table.
Saban is too fricking Old. Clemson took it out of him. This season Alabama falls off and has 3 losses. He quietly ends his coaching career shortly before the 46th president of the United States is sworn in this December. Alabama loses to Florida State, Arkansas and Mississippi St.
Auburn is excited. They have a Quarterback that Gus Malzahn hasn't shite on and tried to teach how to play yet. Unfortunately Gus is lonely without his longtime mistress and he will order his new offensive coordinator to stop calling plays by game 3 due to alienation of affection and they limp home with losses to Clemson, Mississippi State, Arkansas, Georgia and Alabama.
LSU fans will have their optimism replaced with crushing disappointment. Guice blows out his give a shite in a soul crushing loss to Mississippi St. in their third game and spends the rest of the season dodging contact so he can play football for an actual coach. LSU goes 1-7 in conference play with their only win over Texas A&M.
Mississippi will play this season like they have nothing to lose. They finish the regular season 6-6 with wins over Vanderbilt, LSU and Kentucky. Sadly they finish the season 0-12. The NCAA then dismantles the program, dynamites the stadium and auctions all the athletes off to other programs.
Mississippi St. will have their best year ever under Mullen. The game with Arkansas will decide the winner of the West. An 11-1 regular season gets them overlooked for a playoff spot with the deciding factor being their loss to the Razorbacks in a game where Houston Nutt is honored at halftime. Their Egg Bowl win over Ole Miss is forever enshrined as the last shaming insult to Ole Miss fans before their program no longer exists. Dan Mullen grows his hair long and embarks on a 37 city, 9 country tour with Soundgarden and Linkin Park as their new lead singer.
Texas A&M has a season so bad that it leads Kevin Sumlin to stop drinking and stop living in College Station. They lose a heartbreaker to UCLA and never recover. They only manage to win 3 conference games, South Carolina, Florida and Mississippi.
Arkansas finishes the season 15-0. Arkansas is then promptly investigated by the NCAA, has players removed, is sanctioned and then apologized to because the NCAA discovered nothing was done wrong, it just couldn't fathom Arkansas winning a title, Again, just like after fricking basketball.
Sunday Adebayo is appointed the new NCAA Commissioner and sacrifices the officials of the Arkansas, North Carolina NCAA tournament game to appease the gods of justice.
Bonus: Mike Calipari hires Hugh Freeze as an assistant because of his basketball experience.
Saban is too fricking Old. Clemson took it out of him. This season Alabama falls off and has 3 losses. He quietly ends his coaching career shortly before the 46th president of the United States is sworn in this December. Alabama loses to Florida State, Arkansas and Mississippi St.
Auburn is excited. They have a Quarterback that Gus Malzahn hasn't shite on and tried to teach how to play yet. Unfortunately Gus is lonely without his longtime mistress and he will order his new offensive coordinator to stop calling plays by game 3 due to alienation of affection and they limp home with losses to Clemson, Mississippi State, Arkansas, Georgia and Alabama.
LSU fans will have their optimism replaced with crushing disappointment. Guice blows out his give a shite in a soul crushing loss to Mississippi St. in their third game and spends the rest of the season dodging contact so he can play football for an actual coach. LSU goes 1-7 in conference play with their only win over Texas A&M.
Mississippi will play this season like they have nothing to lose. They finish the regular season 6-6 with wins over Vanderbilt, LSU and Kentucky. Sadly they finish the season 0-12. The NCAA then dismantles the program, dynamites the stadium and auctions all the athletes off to other programs.
Mississippi St. will have their best year ever under Mullen. The game with Arkansas will decide the winner of the West. An 11-1 regular season gets them overlooked for a playoff spot with the deciding factor being their loss to the Razorbacks in a game where Houston Nutt is honored at halftime. Their Egg Bowl win over Ole Miss is forever enshrined as the last shaming insult to Ole Miss fans before their program no longer exists. Dan Mullen grows his hair long and embarks on a 37 city, 9 country tour with Soundgarden and Linkin Park as their new lead singer.
Texas A&M has a season so bad that it leads Kevin Sumlin to stop drinking and stop living in College Station. They lose a heartbreaker to UCLA and never recover. They only manage to win 3 conference games, South Carolina, Florida and Mississippi.
Arkansas finishes the season 15-0. Arkansas is then promptly investigated by the NCAA, has players removed, is sanctioned and then apologized to because the NCAA discovered nothing was done wrong, it just couldn't fathom Arkansas winning a title, Again, just like after fricking basketball.
Sunday Adebayo is appointed the new NCAA Commissioner and sacrifices the officials of the Arkansas, North Carolina NCAA tournament game to appease the gods of justice.
Bonus: Mike Calipari hires Hugh Freeze as an assistant because of his basketball experience.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:27 pm to Killean
This is the SECrant that I remember.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:27 pm to Killean
You sure you aren't gonna lose to a terrible Mizzou team again?
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:29 pm to Killean
I'm getting cramps from not laughing.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:30 pm to rmnldr
The board giffeth.. and the board taketh away.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:30 pm to Killean
quote:
we are likely to run the table.
So, no 24 point leads to protect this year?
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:30 pm to Killean
Pretty solid imagination and story lines. Must be some good shite you're smoking
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:32 pm to Killean
Weak bait.
But hey, I'm just happy that y'all are trying again. I'm sure you'll knock the rust off after a little more practice
But hey, I'm just happy that y'all are trying again. I'm sure you'll knock the rust off after a little more practice
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:36 pm to Killean
This is the best response thread I've ever read! So much truth! The SEC is on lighthouse duty, t ship is sailing, full flags!
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:37 pm to Killean
quote:
Guice blows out his give a shite in a soul crushing loss to Mississippi St. in their third game and spends the rest of the season dodging contact so he can play football for an actual coach
Guice stats v. Arkansas while playing under a D-Line coach with the tight ends coach calling plays:
21 carries, 252 yards (3rd highest game total in school history), 2 TDs, long of 96 yards (school record)
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:42 pm to logjamming
We get it, LSU won last year. We're still 5-5 in the last 10. 2 out of the last 3.
Our D sucked last year. We will freely admit that. We made changes. New Coordinator who is a former D-1 head coach. New scheme also.
The SEC is on notice. We're coming for you Bama.
Our D sucked last year. We will freely admit that. We made changes. New Coordinator who is a former D-1 head coach. New scheme also.
The SEC is on notice. We're coming for you Bama.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 6:45 pm to logjamming
I feel like there are three kinds of posters on the Rant.
1. Posters who get the rant and understand what's going on.
2. Posters who are overly sensitive about their teams and get hives whenever someone makes an accurate observation about them.
3. Ole Miss fans who at this point are just like, frick you guys, please stop, we loved football and our lives are being destroyed because of Houston Nutt.
To the people in group 2: No matter how good your team is, it won't fix the problems in your life. Seek help.
To the Ole Miss fans: It'll be ok guys. There will still be football and Mississippi will be stronger for it. Admittedly, Mississippi will only have Mississippi State and Southern Miss as division 1 football programs.. but it'll be stronger. You could move on and back one of those two programs, or become bitter, hateful and only watch Euroleague soccer.
1. Posters who get the rant and understand what's going on.
2. Posters who are overly sensitive about their teams and get hives whenever someone makes an accurate observation about them.
3. Ole Miss fans who at this point are just like, frick you guys, please stop, we loved football and our lives are being destroyed because of Houston Nutt.
To the people in group 2: No matter how good your team is, it won't fix the problems in your life. Seek help.
To the Ole Miss fans: It'll be ok guys. There will still be football and Mississippi will be stronger for it. Admittedly, Mississippi will only have Mississippi State and Southern Miss as division 1 football programs.. but it'll be stronger. You could move on and back one of those two programs, or become bitter, hateful and only watch Euroleague soccer.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 7:10 pm to Killean
As the Commodores would say, the band not the shitty football team.....
Sail on,
Honey
Good times never felt so good.
Sail on,
Honey
Good times never felt so good.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 7:11 pm to Killean
quote:This is some of the most beautiful literature to ever take form.
Mississippi St. will have their best year ever under Mullen. The game with Arkansas will decide the winner of the West. An 11-1 regular season gets them overlooked for a playoff spot with the deciding factor being their loss to the Razorbacks in a game where Houston Nutt is honored at halftime. Their Egg Bowl win over Ole Miss is forever enshrined as the last shaming insult to Ole Miss fans before their program no longer exists. Dan Mullen grows his hair long and embarks on a 37 city, 9 country tour with Soundgarden and Linkin Park as their new lead singer.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 7:12 pm to Killean
You are irrelevant. Get used to it.
Posted on 8/1/17 at 7:17 pm to Killean
The LSU bit about 1-7 in the the SEC with a win over A&M made me laugh a little.
It also scared me tho. What if Joe turned around and hired the new interim coach for beating A&M?
It also scared me tho. What if Joe turned around and hired the new interim coach for beating A&M?
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