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What constitutes cheating?

Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:35 pm
Posted by WestCoastAg
Member since Oct 2012
145253 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:35 pm
I was having this conversation the other day about what cheating is and I found it interesting that people have different opinions on what cheating actually is.

It's my opinion that a situation isnt cheating unless an overtly sexual act takes place
This post was edited on 5/17/16 at 2:45 pm
Posted by AUBorn
Itumpka Youtumpka Wetumpka, AL
Member since Aug 2013
933 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:38 pm to
Depends on the definition of "is".
Posted by Funky Tide 8
Tittleman's Crest
Member since Feb 2009
52803 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:41 pm to
I always just kind have the opinion that you shouldn't be doing anything that you wouldn't want your SO doing.

Now, that can be tricky, because not everyone has the same security and jealousy levels. So basically, I don't know.
Posted by CharlieTiger
ATL
Member since Jun 2014
764 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:43 pm to
quote:

It's my opinion that a situation isnt cheating until something goes into something else


So, if you're wife were to let some guy she works with feel her boobs all the time, you'd be cool with that? Or if she made out with this same guy over and over again?

There aren't many sexual scenarios where something from a man(or a woman) doesn't go into the other person in some way, be it a tongue in a mouth or a HONK! in BEEP!.

Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 2:46 pm to
As long as your SO knows your definition of it, and you know your SO's definition of it, you shouldn't get into trouble.


When I first got married, my wife came across an email from an ex of mine. Now, the ex had been an ex for 5 or so year, and we were still somewhat cordial to each other, and my wife knew we emailed every now and then. But seeing the email made the situation tangible to my wife and she considered it almost cheating. I didn't agree, and knew it was innocent, but stopped emailing with the ex immediately.
Posted by Aux Arc
SW Missouri
Member since Oct 2011
2184 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:23 pm to
quote:

What constitutes cheating?


Anal.
Posted by Weagle25
THE Football State.
Member since Oct 2011
46213 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:25 pm to
If you question whether it's cheating or not, it's cheating
Posted by plazadweller
South Georgia
Member since Jul 2011
11458 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:26 pm to
Having inappropriate conversations and definitely anything past that
Posted by PrivatePublic
Member since Nov 2012
17848 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:26 pm to
Cheating for her is whatever I deem it to be, and for me whatever she seems it to be.

If we couldn't accept each other's terms we'd have never married.
Posted by JRoweMDN
Florida
Member since Jan 2016
703 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 3:40 pm to
quote:

It's my opinion that a situation isnt cheating unless an overtly sexual act takes place


Do solo acts count? If so I may have cheated with my hand or one of my neighbors.
Posted by finestfirst79
Vicksburg, Mississippi
Member since Nov 2012
11646 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:33 pm to
A Catholic coworker once went to a priest to ask if a blowjob qualified as adultery. The priest said no, so in his opinion he was in the clear!

The answers you'll get will be all over the place. For me I think Funky Tide 8 had the best answer: "...you shouldn't be doing anything that you wouldn't want your SO doing."
Posted by parrothead
big salty ham
Member since Mar 2010
4457 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:56 pm to
anything you wouldnt be ok with your SO doing is cheating in my book
Posted by Warfarer
Dothan, AL
Member since May 2010
12132 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:56 pm to
quote:

What constitutes cheating?


I define it anything that can get in the way of your relationship. If that boils down to simply flirting and your SO gets upset and it gets into your relationship, stop. If you insist on doing it, get out of your relationship.

Emailing, texting, aggressive flirting can all frick up a relationship so while they aren't "cheating", they are still cheating.
Posted by Roger Klarvin
DFW
Member since Nov 2012
46543 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 7:30 pm to
It largely depends on the mindset. For instance some things are always cheating (like sex) but a drunken kiss with some random person wouldn't be IMO. On the other hand, merely hanging out with someone who are emotionally and physically attracted to might constitute a level of emotional infidelity.
Posted by TexAgChill
Member since Mar 2015
2450 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 7:36 pm to
There is no adequate definition. But, you know it, when you know it.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 7:38 pm to
Varies from couple to couple.

Have to know each other's boundaries/jealousies.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
99247 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 9:33 pm to
As others have said, it depends on the couple and circumstance.

Personally, I'd consider anything physical cheating. I also believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating. You may not be physically intimate with a person but if you're spending time with them and investing emotionally in that "relationship" versus the relationship with your significant other than that's a big problem IMO.
Posted by StrawsDrawnAtRandom
Member since Sep 2013
21146 posts
Posted on 5/17/16 at 9:59 pm to
We have this question like every month.

Conservative:

Lookin', talkin', fantasizin'.

Liberal:

Intercourse.

My take: Somewhere in between.
Posted by IT_Dawg
Georgia
Member since Oct 2012
21864 posts
Posted on 5/18/16 at 4:10 am to
A foul is not a foul, if the referee doesn't blow the whistle
Posted by Old Sarge
Dean of Admissions, LSU
Member since Jan 2012
55448 posts
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:38 am to
Anything that gives a part of you that rightfully belongs to your spouse to another.

Emotions, touch, time, if it's a part of you that you know you should be giving/sharing with your spouse.
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