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Dame tu numero de tu telefono

Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:06 pm
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:06 pm
Lets have a cerveza and take a momento to discuss the greatest lie that dora ever told. that life would be perfecto with a spanish bitch. youve all thought it. hell I did too when I was a kid. but theres alot of liberal misinformation out there and El Cheffé is here to put the needle on the record once and for all

Lesser known fact. I almost married a mexican bitch from honduras back in '03. obviously it didnt work out, mainly because I wasnt as in touch with myself as I am now, and I regret that, but there were so many unforseen chihuahuas in the mix i couldnt have known. Ive stopped blaming myself. you cant turn back time. Lifes a bitch so make her gag. that's my slogan

First, lets confess that we all get clammy when we see a young desperate mexican chick walk by. Its in our chromosomes. you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertainer. you dont give a frick. all you can think about is coming home from work, her calling you papacita, unlacing your timberlands, and licking your plantain all night long and not bitching in american. well, youre part right

(.....)
Posted by tylerdurden24
Member since Sep 2009
46596 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:10 pm to
Yep. This is where I parked my car.

Chef story time
Posted by ruckusdawg
knoxville
Member since Oct 2012
875 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:12 pm to
You from around brunswick ga? I think we may have partied together. Cocaine boos and girls who spoke broken english at best.
Posted by olddawg26
Member since Jan 2013
24633 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:13 pm to
I'm in.
Posted by DawgHolliday
the 'cloven-land', ga
Member since Sep 2012
4989 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:29 pm to
Wait for me...does everyone like their hot chocolate with the mimi-mallows? I'm making enough for us all to gather on the rug 'round the fireplace, the tree all decked out in Cri'muh splendor in the corner, while Uncle Chef sits the rocker, rocks glass in one hand, one-hitter in the other...mesmerizing us all will his wondrous tale of ubiquitous Hispanic whore courting.


It will be like a Norman Rockwell scene, as interpreted by Salvador Dali, Andy Warhol and Jackson Pollack...all at once and as though from a single hand.
Posted by DawgCountry
Great State of GA
Member since Sep 2012
30571 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:29 pm to
Muthafrickin In :kern:
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:37 pm to
She had a 4yr old. which ive dealt with before. but theyre different over there. its hard to explain. over there the kids capris suns are made from armadillo mambrane. and they get spankings with cactus patties , which I get. But here's the thing. they start eating 5 alarm peppers when theyre babies. no lie. little ferdinand would waddle his pamper arse into the kitchen when my girl would be cooking and just snatch down a habanero and start munching like it was celery. Ok thats boss. but, im on record as saying its wrong to let toddlers eat produce that makes them think life is about eating and feeling like aaron hernandez is fisting you in your diaper twice a day. I will not morally negotiate on this point

Her name was Delfina. which, idk. may be sexy over there. but it doesnt roll off the tongue like "brandy" or "rosanne". there's just an awkward disconnect. did you know the mexican word for cock is pinto? can you go there with a straight face? hey ho, come get on this pinto. no matter the reference, I dont want my dick nicknamed from the 70s vehicle or the chilli bean. maybe theres no spanish for beanstalk. or maybe thats why michael Jackson had his mexican maids maids call him Jacko. wait. wow

(...)
Posted by VADawg
Wherever
Member since Nov 2011
45063 posts
Posted on 12/4/15 at 9:00 pm to
quote:

you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertaine


Posted by Dawgholio
Bugtussle
Member since Oct 2015
13047 posts
Posted on 12/5/15 at 8:55 am to
quote:

. you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertainer. you dont give a frick.


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