quote:
My wife is active duty and sacrificed a lot in her career for our marriage. For instance, she wanted us to go over seas, but I was against it. Now, she is two years out of retirement and that option has passed. I get the feeling that her sacrifices on my part has led to her hitting the wall as far as her career goes. And I know that she is under incredible pressure at work and I think that has, in part, led to some feelings that I am not helping. She has said more than once that felt defeated at work. Maybe that's part of the broken. So, for the last almost two years, she has orders to another duty station within two hours drive. That's what I spoke of in a much earlier thread - the kids and I would stay here while she came back on the weekend.

As a child, she went through some horrible, horrible things. She has a very good soul and is an absolute joy. But I took her and everything for granted. I was an arse about some things and a selfish bastard. I guess I just got so comfortable and always thought she would be there. And that's on me. Now I see everything and how I was. I wasn't always that bad, but for those 10 years I slipped. Now I never hit or cheated or anything like that - I guess I more or less neglected - not sure if that is the right word. And that's on me.

I am all for counseling and I suggested such. I just know that this sucks really bad. I can't bear the thought of my kids being caught up. I just don't know what I would do.

Have your said these things to her? Speaking as a woman, I know that if my husband came to me and opened his heart about how he had screwed up and that there was nothing more important to him than keeping his family together, and he was willing to go to counseling, etc... that would be hard to not to try to work it out.

I will say I am blessed with a wonderful husband so I do not want to imply I'm in a like situation.

I hope all goes well for you....if she ends up still wanting a divorce, document everything, especially when it comes to the kids. If she wants full custody, I've heard horror stories from people i know that divorce lawyers will use everything in their power to destroy the father.