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Most Attractive SEC Football Head Coaches (a Gold Digger's Perspective)

Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:16 pm
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:16 pm
Gold Diggers of SEC ?@golddiggersofsec 11m11 minutes ago

quote:

Hey ladies! Its that time of year again where us ladies dream about a life with a great SEC coach and evaluate which coaches are the most attractive. Results are in and #Georgia tops the list although ladies cannot resist a little Pink in our life. Close race!


1) Richt - A perfect male specimen. He likes it dawgy style and so do we!

2) Pinkel - We imagine him tickling us pink while drinking wine by a fireplace. A wonderful fantasy.

3) Muschamp - So sad to see him go. He would top our list if he wasn't recently fired. Our hearts melted everytime his baby face was interviewed. Goodbye, luv!

4) Miles - Not only a good looking man, but very playful too! He's the one we role play with at midnight.

5) Sumlin - Our black cowboy. A Texas accent is attractive. What woman can resist chocolate and a Texas accent? Exactly.

6) Saban - Short but powerful. He may lack height, but he knows what he wants and he achieves it! He's probably the dominator...the alpha male.

7) Butch Jones - Sort of a cute boyish face. He would move up this list if he wasn't mad all of the time.

8) Bielema - Where do we start...Coach B is the definition of hot. Cute stubble on his jawline. Passionate about his players. He may be hefty but clearly he's doing something right. Jen seems more than satisfied!

9) Mullen - He came off like a sore loser after he lost to Ole Miss which means he may be high maintenance and overly sensitive. Women don't like sensitive men. We want a man who is emotionally mature. Maybe he'll grow up and movie up the list one day.

10) Derek Mason - Derek is ranked low because he's new. We just need more time to evaluate him. However we like what we physically see!

11) Malzahn - Has a creeper nerd vibe. He's interesting. Could be a psycho ego maniac behind closed doors or a total teddy bear. Not sure anyone should take that chance.

12) Spurrier - We hate to rank him so low but he is old afterall. 20 years ago he would be at the top of the list, but a girl needs more than just money even though money is a huge part of the equation.

13) Mark Stoops - Looks upset. Overweight. Fat face. Do not want.

14) Hugh Freeze - If you discovered that your blind date was in fact the Easter Bunny, would you be excited? What if that Easter Bunny spoke like he walked out of the movie #Mississippi Burning? Case closed.


ETA:

Piggilicious, a well known female Arkansas poster took issue with the "Gold Diggers" list and made a list of her own:


Piggi's Secsybeast Coach list:

1) Saban - Sure he's no spring chicken but he's the king and the king gets what he wants even if he comes in a small package. We've seen him smack some booty before and scream very passionately- who wouldn't enjoy that?

2) Bielema - Big, burly, manly and rugged- with a very nice face. And also a bit of a teddy bear.

3)Sumlin - Dark chocolate anyone? Sumlin seems just the right amount of animated yet rather calm/soothing- nice combo.

4) Pinkel- Probably the best looking of them all in his prime and still quite nice.

5) Richt- Very nice looking although I think sleeping with Richt would be just that...sleeping.

6) Mullen - Nice enough looking- rather generic I would say. Could do worse especially if we're going simply by gold digging $tandard$.

7) Muschamp - the equivalent of man's desire for a woman who's crazy in the sack. Who knows what you'd get with him? Hopefully full throttle passion and no tears.

8) Mason - Nice looking and after this season of disappointments should be very into pleasing others if you know what I mean.

9)Spurrier - Doughy, not by fat but by age. Still has that sass and swag which most women like.

10) Miles - not bad looking, would probably tickle your funny bone if nothing else.

11) Mark Stoops - Not hideous but not very attractive either.

12) Butch Jones - Not hideous either but something about him looks very schmarmy and jerkish and not in a sexy way.

13) Malzahn- i have bias against him so this one isn't fair but the idea itself just creeps me out. He's not ugly but no thanks money isn't that important.

14) Freeze - Bless his heart.

This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 1:46 pm
Posted by toosleaux
Stuck in Baton Rouge traffic
Member since Dec 2007
9297 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:17 pm to
Wtf is this.
Posted by CBandits82
Lurker since May 2008
Member since May 2012
55439 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:18 pm to
quote:




Posted by JordonfortheJ
Bavaria-Germany
Member since Mar 2012
14547 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:18 pm to
quote:

Wtf is this.


A guy writing about how cute others guys are
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:19 pm to
quote:

Wtf is this



That's what I said when I first read it.
Posted by LandofDixie
Member since Jul 2012
2825 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:20 pm to
This makes me uncomfortable.
Posted by Prof
Member since Jun 2013
44010 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:21 pm to
quote:

11) Malzahn - Has a creeper nerd vibe. He's interesting. Could be a psycho ego maniac behind closed doors or a total teddy bear. Not sure anyone should take that chance.




Posted by olddawg26
Member since Jan 2013
25020 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:21 pm to
Big 1
Posted by Prettyboy Floyd
Pensacola, Florida
Member since Dec 2013
16066 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:21 pm to
quote:

1) Richt - A perfect male specimen. He likes it dawgy style and so do we!



Case fricking closed


Daddy Richt putting in work.

This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 12:23 pm
Posted by 2poop
bama
Member since Sep 2009
4562 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:22 pm to
That fellow in your avi is a racist.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134050 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:22 pm to
quote:

5) Sumlin - Our black cowboy. A Texas accent is attractive. What woman can resist chocolate and a Texas accent? Exactly.



Sumlin's from Alabama
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:23 pm to
quote:

That fellow in your avi is a racist



That fellow is a great American who speaks the truth.
Posted by jbond
Atlanta
Member since Jun 2012
4964 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:23 pm to
quote:

1) Richt
2) Pinkel
3) Muschamp
4) Miles
5) Sumlin
6) Saban


Big 6
Posted by piggilicious
Member since Jan 2011
37309 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:23 pm to
hmm, not bad overall but i differ somewhat. miles too high, jones too high, pinkel a little old for #2 but really a good looking guy so no real complaints there, richt way too nice for #1 but he is nice looking.

Bielema - Where do we start...Coach B is the definition of hot. Cute stubble on his jawline. Passionate about his players. He may be hefty but clearly he's doing something right. Jen seems more than satisfied!

so true, bb is rather hot- just has some extra lb-age.

Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:23 pm to
quote:

Sumlin's from Alabama



No one ever claimed the gold diggers to be intelligent.
Posted by olddawg26
Member since Jan 2013
25020 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:24 pm to
Great Role model. Gives raises out of pocket. Squeaky clean program. Kicks kids out when they want to act like idiots.



Loses all in state recruits.



Only program without bagmen
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134050 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:24 pm to
quote:



No one ever claimed the gold diggers to be intelligent.


Touche, killz, touche

Although I guess I can relate to Sumlin on this one: I was born in Alabama, but I'm a naturalized Texan
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:25 pm to
piggilicious

quote:

so true, bb is rather hot- just has some extra lb-age.



Piggy...are you a woman? If so, do you agree with the "gold diggers"?
Posted by mizzoukills
Member since Aug 2011
40686 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:26 pm to
quote:

I was born in Alabama, but I'm a naturalized Texan



Did not know this...
Posted by craigbiggio
Member since Dec 2009
31805 posts
Posted on 12/10/14 at 12:26 pm to
quote:

@golddiggersofsec


I searched for this account and found nothing
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