re: HOA question ...

I'm guessing giving them any sort of consideration/money would be you showing you consider them a legitimate authority. If they're just taking care of the common areas the association owns, like the lakes and lake lot, with no other desire to assert authority over the privately owned land in the community there probably isn't an issue with paying. I'd like to see it in writing, though.

Maybe donate a different amount of money to the association for preservation of the stuff they take care of until it's clarified.

To be honest, it sounds like a shitty situation waiting to happen if there's ever a need for some maintenance/taxes being paid and half the people decide not to pay. They could probably start charging a fee to use their property to offset their expenses which would suck, especially if you paid up front as requested.

I'm not an attorney, though.