Ole Miss 45-17

This is where the University of Mississippi takes the leap from "questionable program" to "slang dick on everybody because we're an up-an-coming powerhouse."

Look, I was the first one to not only question the direction that our program was heading, but also question Ross Bjork's mad genius approach as to building a perennial contender. After many sleepless nights considering how exactly I'd like to approach this season, I've come to a conclusion that there's no turning back. It's time for Ole Miss to not only warrant themselves as a year-to-year 7-8-9 win team, frick that. Ole Miss is about to transcend into a nationwide brand.

Oklahoma
Florida State
Oregon
Ohio State
Texas
OLE MISS

That's right, Ole Miss.

The time is now. College Gameday is making it's way to the best game day atmosphere in the country.. That's right, THE BEST tailgating experience in all of the land.

What doesn't Ole Miss have?

The wealthiest student body in America - CHECK. Hey, they don't call UofM the Harvard of the South for nothing. Not only are the academic standards second to none, no need to sugarcoat it - everyone who has ever been affiliated with the flagship is extremely connected and - for lack of better words - rich as frick. Ole Miss is just a networking paradise. Lets face it, you go to Ole Miss - you'll get an upper-echelon job. That's just how shite plays out.

The most beautiful campus in America. CHECK. I don't feel like posting a link, but it's documented if you low-rent peasants feel like looking it up.

Best looking girls in the country - CHECK. There's really no need to try to state a case for this. Everyone knows Ole Miss sluts are better than the wannabes at your university. I could try to make some sort of valid argument, but.. there's no point of explaining what's already understood.

Best party scene - CHECK. Ole Miss is a heavyweight when it comes to getting shite-pants fricked up. The drugs are so-so (literally, i've flushed cocaine down the toilet it was so garbage) but that's every school. We're close enough to Memphis so it's really no problem to get some "head buster dope" if you're really looking to score.

A recruiting hot-bed, CHECK. Look, we're not recruiting like Bama, but who is? It's just a matter of time until Saban hangs it up and they hire Dabo "Cum Stain" Swinney" and they fall back into a 10 year slump. It's inevitable. Lets proceed into the recruiting terminology.

*Best Player in the Country - Rob Nkemdashian (frick all of you EliteDawg mouthbreathers)
*Best receiver in the land - La(Rich Homie)Quon Treadwell. He's better than cheesedick A. Cooper and thats the god damn truth.
*Laremy Tunsil - He would've been a top 5 pick coming out as a tFreshman. Eat shite, Georgia.. Get your money up before you get in a bidding war with a superior program.

The list could go on for days, but frick it.. I wouldn't want the whole conference salivating while I name blue chip after blue chip

There's no turning back. Ole Miss is on it's way to being a national brand. I'm sure everyone remembers that fig in high school that was loyal to a team that was out of state (A'la a Texas, USC etc.) and just wanted to pull for a dominant program. Well that's the route Ole Miss is pursuing. It's a matter of time before the whole country is infatuated with Ole Miss. Little Johnny in Oregon is an Ole Miss fan. Stuart in New Jersey is an Ole Miss fan. Jeremiah in Minnesota.. I'll be damned, but he loves the shite out of Ole Miss as well.

And it all starts after knocking off the extremely overrated Alabama Crimson Tide this Saturday

As the heartbeat of the program, Chucky Mullins said, "It's time, Rebels. It's time to stomp on Alabama's dicks."