re: OT: Anyone ever been through a divorce here?

I am sorry to hear about your current situation, Hawgeye.

I cannot offer any advice on marriage yet reading the psychology behind wmr's post backed by experience sounds very genuine. I can offer advice in other areas if you desire.

Have you thought about counseling for yourself, suggested it to her personally all in addition to couples counseling? There might be a reason for her actions otherwise you never would've married this woman for starters in my opinion..