Phil Robertson reveals his secrets to finding the perfect underage girl

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According to Robertson, women are old maids at 20. All they do at that point is spend your money on stupid woman stuff. -
What you want to do, according to the Duck Dynasty patriarch, is “marry these girls when they’re about fifteen or sixteen.” Robertson is no stranger to doing just that. He began dating his wife Marsha when she was fourteen and he a legal adult. They married two years later when she was just sixteen.

Given his expertise on the matter, some may choose to listen to Phil’s suggestion that they bag themselves some jail-bait (though he does caution that they should make sure mom and dad are cool with it)–but how does a man know when the underage girl he has found is the right one for him? In an expanded video of Robertson’s comments, A&E’s resident racist homophobe and advocate of forming relationships with teenage girls has us covered!


She needs to be able to cook a meal, because women (as we all know) belong in the kitchen.


She needs to carry her Bible. No Bible, find another kid to wed! Where else is she going to learn that marrying and being entirely subservient to a 50-something (or 20-something) man is normal? The rest of society?


We’re not sure if this is innuendo or a duck cleaning reference (so we’ll go with the latter)…but if she “picks your ducks,” apparently that makes her “a woman!” Which is good, because her age sure doesn’t!

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