LSU Travel Guide to Omaha. Courtesy of tFlagship Pleasure Excursions LLC.

Well you asked for it, so here it is. Inspired by Latarian's 5***** rated 'Fayetteville for Coon Asses' travel guide.



The first thing to be concerned with when planning your trip to Omaha for the 2013 CWS is how to get there. Most tFlagshippers would be offered courtesy private jets, but seeing how the Crawdad and Bukkaki season wasn't so strong this year LSU fans will most likely be driving to the destination. We've been courteous enough to pre-plan an optimized route from the heart of dipshit country in Baton Rouge to the mecca of college baseball in June, Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha, NE.



Tiger fans will find this to be a pleasing route with lovely vistas that will remind most LSU fans of home.

LINK



Points of Interest Along the Way:

Millbrook Golf and Brothel Club, Picayune, MS.


The ladies of the night at Millbrook are eager to please and professionally experienced with a combined 1,280 years of pleasure work among the staff. From the 7th Ward to Pearl County, it's always good to experience one last little bit of home before taking off an adventure like the CWS.


Waffle House, Meridian, MS


Often you get a hankering for a hunk of pork, fried chicken fetus, and sugary steamed batch of batter. Well the Meridian Waffle House is the spot to go along the dusty trail. Here is a terrific review by TripAdvisor. LINK


Nick "Satan" Saban Statue, Bryant-Denny Stadium, Tuscaloosa, AL.


It's always a nice sentiment to pay homage to the alpha and omega of football at LSU.


Mammoth Cave National Park, Kentucky.


Seeing how LSU fans have been complete gaping vaginas regarding football schedule and not playing out of state OOC games in baseball, it might be nice to visit an enormous cavern.


Heaven Hill Distillery, Bardstown, KY.


Just up the road from Mammoth Cave is sacred grounds for LSU fans, the distilleries of Heaven Hill brands well liqours. Only the finest of spirits reach the palate of discerning Tiger fans, come see where all the magic happens. Pay your respects at the site of where the elixir that changes you from normal rational human being to a cursing, spittin' on old ladies, fight starting, piss balloon launching, thug POS, tiger baiting, wife beating, annoying SOB. It's truly the Garden of the Gods in Bardstown.


Illinois: Nothing


Iowa: Ain't shite there either.





Once you've arrived in Omaha, be sure not to make the rookie mistake of going down by the train tracks and the river to the Old Rosenblatt Stadium. Since LSU was last in the CWS there's been some major changes. There's a new stadium, new bats, and things are clean, please attempt to keep them that way.

You'll need to drive further west to the new TD Ameritrade Park where the tournament is now held.


Accomodations:


Most Tiger fans will be renting hotel rooms for the 2 days LSU will be playing. LSU folks should find accomodations in Boys Town located in the western part of Omaha to be the most appealing. Boys Town is dedicated to saving children and helping families and molesting their young wayward sons. Should be a home away from home and a pleasant stay.

Boys Town is a small area and space is limited, so the Omaha Salvation Army might be another good choice and it's located at 3612 Cuming St.



Restaurants: Eating out is expensive and likely prohibitively so for LSU fans, we recommend stocking up at the gas station on the corner of Plank and Scenic where your SNAP card will fill your station wagon full of beenie weenies, potted meat, ritz crackers, cheese in a can, taquitos, Mtn. Dew, Rockstar energy drinks, Kools, and Grizzly snuff.

One can also go for broke and spend the per diem food budget on lotto scratchers in order to ensure more spending money for the short stay in Omaha.

If one can't go 3 days without a tasty battered and fried hot dog, here is a map of the Omaha metro locations for Sonic Drive-In. LINK



Entertainment: Since LSU will only be playing twice in Omaha, you'll have loads of excess time. We recommend going to the former home of Carl Swanson, the glorious inventor of TV dinners, since those are the standard meal of LSU fans when the corndogs have ran out. You can also visit where Enron was founded as Northern Natural Gas, since Enron was the model of integrity for LSU and all of the OT's petro-chem engineers. For your football jones, you can go watch Zach Mettenburgers next team the Omaha Beef play at the Omaha Civic Auditorium. Since Omaha was a frontier town there are many areas of ill-refute. You'll have to ask around once you get there as members of tBeacon would not know where those areas are or what can be found once you find yourself there.


God Speed Tigers, good luck, enjoy your 2 days in Omaha and please don't drive through Arkansas on your way to or from the CWS, we have a certain cleanliness standard we try to maintain.