Offseason thread: SEC West Coaches as Military Leaders

In no particular order. I was bored so I started this and now I'm tired as shite so I stopped after I did all the West coaches. I may do East tomorrow.

Gus Malzahn - Genghis Khan

The Mongol Empire at its height was the largest empire the world had ever seen. To this day, that is still the case. Genghis Khan rode from Asia all the way to Eastern Europe conquering everything in his path by utilizing a revolutionary quick-hitting method of attack that heavily relied on deception and confusing his enemies. The world had never seen this done so well and no army knew how to defend these groundbreaking tactics. In a very short amount of time, Genghis Khan was very successful because of this unconventional method.

This success was short lived however. Rival armies began to take ideas that the Mongols had pioneered. The Khans were not able to sustain control of the empire and this caused and the empire to collapse not even 60 years after its first campaigns. After the collapse, the tactics that the Mongols used to once establish the largest empire in mankind’s history were beginning to be used by everyone and the Mongols were no longer special. As the villain, Syndrome, said in Disney/Pixar’s The Incredibles; “When everyone’s super, no one will be.”

Nick Saban - Napoleon Bonaparte

Unlike others, Napoleon was not known as the mastermind behind a revolutionary new style of warfare. He was known to execute the methods that were already in place to perfection and improve on them. While not the originator of the methods he used, Napoleon very effectively combined the relatively superior maneuver and battle stages into one event. Before this, officers had considered this approach to battle as separate events. However, Napoleon used the maneuver to battle to dictate how and where the battle would progress. Napoleon was extremely meticulous and extremely well prepared going into every confrontation. Because of this, he rarely lost a battle. His one aim in battle was to completely and utterly destroy his enemy and he did that as well as anybody in history.

Despite being arguably the greatest military leader of modern history, Napoleon was not without a few faults. His ego was one of them. Toward the end of his career his underestimation of several enemies and sloppy execution of his tactics led to some costly defeats. Most notably the 2010 Iron Bo- I mean Battle of Waterloo. Despite this, he is still considered one of the greatest military minds of all time, if not THE greatest.
He was also known for being very short.

Gary Pinkel - George Custer

Custer was known during the Civil War as a promising young leader with and thought to have a bright military future. He had successes in the Civil War and all was looking well for the future. During his command of the 7th Cavalry Division in the Great Sioux War of 1876, Custer and the 7th found themselves face to face with an enemy that they expected to defeat with their innovative weapons and power of ‘Murica. Custer’s lack of control over his unit, coupled with his assistants being incompetent and/or drunk during the battle led to the greatest defeat in United States history. Much of the 7th Cavalry with Custer along with it was destroyed by Indian forces led by Chief Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull. The 7th Cavalry would rebound but the Custer era during the Indian Wars would forever be an era not to be remembered fondly.

Les Miles - General James “Mad Dog” Mattis

General Mattis is best known for leading the 1st Marine Division during the invasion of Iraq in 2003 and being largely responsible for the success in Fallujah in 2004. Mattis is not the reason the Marine Corps is successful but he has done a good job of making sure it stays that way. He is known for being extremely vocal and honest about what he thinks. He is known for being an all around badass who generates awesome quotes while also being good at his job. He is not the greatest commander that the Marine Corps has ever seen but he is a commander that makes the Marine Corps proud.

Bret Bielema - Marshal Georgy Zhukov

Being instrumental to the Soviet efforts on the Eastern Front in WWII, Zhukov is known for his defensive strategies and setting up the defences of Leningrad and Moscow that successfully repelled the German forces. Zhukov utilized every advantage he had to the fullest. He wore his enemies down by pounding the German lines relentlessly with the massive numbers that the Russians had at their disposal. His methods were not always pretty or pioneering but they were effective nonetheless. Zhukov was not the pioneer of the “Blitzkrieg” or any tactics we hear about in the books but his hard nosed approach proved to be too much for the Germans despite their vastly superior training and technology. He aggressive style helped the Russians drive the Germans back to Germany.

Dan Mullen - Marshal Hugh Dowding

A sort of under the radar leader. Facing an onslaught from the German Luftwaffe is no easy task, Dowding and the RAF were able to keep air superiority over London and kept Britain from being invaded with the success at the Battle of Britain. The success was not without a good deal of losses and it was not pretty but he was able to stay afloat against the brutal Luftwaffe, who would defeat almost every air force in the world if matched against them. Despite much of London being destroyed, the victory in the Battle of Britain was a morale booster for the country and undoubtedly contributed to their successes later on in the war. Dowding played a huge role in getting Britain on track in the war against a very powerful enemy despite often not getting much credit for it.

Kevin Sumlin - Admiral Raymond Spruance

Spruance is most well known for defeating the powerful Japanese fleet against all odds in the Battle of Midway. Despite the Japanese fleet being nearly twice the size of the US Fleet , the US ended up destroying them. When the US fleet intercepted the attacking Japanese, the Japanese were caught off guard and were reloading and refueling the planes on their aircraft carriers. This gave the US fleet a leg up early and that proved to be the deciding factor. The US was outnumbered and outmatched in just about every area but the element of surprise proved enough to win the day and this battle was no doubt the upset of the war. Spruance was absolutely a great commander and capable leader but most recognize the victory at Midway as a very lucky victory that likely would not have gone the same way again.