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re: "Dear Killz" Advice and Help Column
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:32 pm to semotruman
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:32 pm to semotruman
yea shes definitely seen us together. and im actually pretty sure i told her, while i was drunk one time in like january, that i was starting to feel things for the girl and that it was weird cause this was the first time ive ever been legitimately interested in someone (im only 20). im pretty sure that is what started everything that led to it blowing up
and yea im going to be sensitive, im just trying to brain storm some ideas on how to go about it
and yea im going to be sensitive, im just trying to brain storm some ideas on how to go about it
2
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:45 pm to WestCoastAg
Well, that explains everything! She is your best friend. She saw you getting close to someone, and for the first time felt threatened. She isn't sure how to handle it, and gets uncomfortable around you. You push her into telling you what's going on, and she confesses she's in love with you - knowing you're developing feelings for someone but feeling desperate enough to tell you how she feels.
She already knows you like this girl, and it won't be a surprise. But she's hurt, as well as humiliated and feeling awkward. That's going to take time. But if you're going to ask this girl out, open up the communication with your friend, and see how she responds. Maybe you can get together for lunch, or coffee - I'd stay away from booze, that'll just make her more emotional. If you get together, just tell her how much her friendship means to you, and always will. And that you've got feelings for someone, but it in no way means you don't need her friendship. Honest - but gentle.
If she isn't ready to talk to you yet, respect that. At least you tried. I'd still email her though, tell her that you really miss her friendship. And that you're going to date, but that doesn't effect how you value her as a friend. Then you've done all you can.
That's just what I'd do.
She already knows you like this girl, and it won't be a surprise. But she's hurt, as well as humiliated and feeling awkward. That's going to take time. But if you're going to ask this girl out, open up the communication with your friend, and see how she responds. Maybe you can get together for lunch, or coffee - I'd stay away from booze, that'll just make her more emotional. If you get together, just tell her how much her friendship means to you, and always will. And that you've got feelings for someone, but it in no way means you don't need her friendship. Honest - but gentle.
If she isn't ready to talk to you yet, respect that. At least you tried. I'd still email her though, tell her that you really miss her friendship. And that you're going to date, but that doesn't effect how you value her as a friend. Then you've done all you can.
That's just what I'd do.
Posted on 3/20/13 at 3:46 pm to WestCoastAg
WCA
Setup a "friend" date...something that you two have always enjoyed doing together. Tell her something along these lines:
"I appreciate that you put your feelings on the line the way you did, but I truly love you like a sister. The last thing I want is for you to be upset or our friendship to become awkward. I can't imagine you not being my best friend. I would be destroyed if we stopped being friends. We shouldn't complicate the beautiful relationship we have with each other."
quote:
and yea im going to be sensitive, im just trying to brain storm some ideas on how to go about it
Setup a "friend" date...something that you two have always enjoyed doing together. Tell her something along these lines:
"I appreciate that you put your feelings on the line the way you did, but I truly love you like a sister. The last thing I want is for you to be upset or our friendship to become awkward. I can't imagine you not being my best friend. I would be destroyed if we stopped being friends. We shouldn't complicate the beautiful relationship we have with each other."
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