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re: Tiger Tales: True Confessions, Brushes With Fame & Infamous Tiger Escapades!
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:09 pm to SoCalMIZ
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:09 pm to SoCalMIZ
So, we come out from hiding and head to the front part of the club where my Mexican friend is now having a convo with a well dressed man who looks somewhat important in this crowd of degenerate partiers.
At this point I'm nervous that the Federales were after us for knocking the flamer on its arse. So, I ask my friend what's happening. "It's cool", he tells me. "Those girls were daughters of narco traficantes" "They had planned to take you two to their fathers beach house in Ensenada for the weekend."
Of course, I'm pissed, "WTF, dude. That would have been awesome!" "No", he tells me. "That's how dudes end up making border crossings with cars or stomachs filled with drugs. You guys would have been fricked. I told them, you weren't here and I came in your place. They weren't interested."
My arse was saved...if I hadn't brought my Mexican friend I'd have ended up in a federal frick me in the arse prison, or worse dead.
The well dressed man was the owner of the club, he was so happy we got the Federales out of there that we got drinks on the house the rest of the night, of course, we didnt stay long enough to enjoy such perks. We got the frick out, quickly.
Moral of the story, don't go to TJ. I haven't been since.
At this point I'm nervous that the Federales were after us for knocking the flamer on its arse. So, I ask my friend what's happening. "It's cool", he tells me. "Those girls were daughters of narco traficantes" "They had planned to take you two to their fathers beach house in Ensenada for the weekend."
Of course, I'm pissed, "WTF, dude. That would have been awesome!" "No", he tells me. "That's how dudes end up making border crossings with cars or stomachs filled with drugs. You guys would have been fricked. I told them, you weren't here and I came in your place. They weren't interested."
My arse was saved...if I hadn't brought my Mexican friend I'd have ended up in a federal frick me in the arse prison, or worse dead.
The well dressed man was the owner of the club, he was so happy we got the Federales out of there that we got drinks on the house the rest of the night, of course, we didnt stay long enough to enjoy such perks. We got the frick out, quickly.
Moral of the story, don't go to TJ. I haven't been since.
0
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:09 pm to MizzouSEC2012
So we asked how many times did you get off in the hours time that you had with the whore? I'm expecting an answer of like at least 3 times 20 minute sessions seems logical right. He tells us he only got off ONE fricking time in the entire hour. And I said you have to be fricking joking what did you do during the entire hour? He tells us after he finished they just sat there and talked for ~45 minutes. I was laughing my arse off thinking I would have used my time a lot wiser. So we ended up giving him some advice for the future.
A. Don't hire fricking prostitutes?
B. When you hire one have a road map of what you're going to do to maximize your spending?
C. USE PROTECTION (he told us when he started out he wasn't using any)
D. Don't spend your rent on a hooker
Any other info needed just ask I left out some more nasty details for obvious reasons
Holy shite Float trips are awesome the floating part this year was kind of the same not much to tell the bomb had been dropped the night before. JESUS HELP THIS POOR CHILD!!!!!!!!
A. Don't hire fricking prostitutes?
B. When you hire one have a road map of what you're going to do to maximize your spending?
C. USE PROTECTION (he told us when he started out he wasn't using any)
D. Don't spend your rent on a hooker
Any other info needed just ask I left out some more nasty details for obvious reasons
Holy shite Float trips are awesome the floating part this year was kind of the same not much to tell the bomb had been dropped the night before. JESUS HELP THIS POOR CHILD!!!!!!!!
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:25 pm to MizzouSEC2012
You guys live some interesting lives.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:30 pm to notsince98
Not me I have never had the desire or need to hire a prostitute in my entire life (22 years) but when something like this happens you have to ask questions speaking of which where the frick ARE YOU AT KILLS
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:35 pm to MizzouSEC2012
i don't even know anyone who has hired a hooker before. All the guys who got desperate that I knew just picked a fat girl to get it over with.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 9:39 pm to notsince98
I was thinking the same thing why didn't you drop your standards until the v-tag was gone. It's rather ironic that in two months he has found himself a girl who is 38 years old and he is only 24. The 38 year old is from cambodia and has two kids who is just recently divorced. Why the frick can't he find a real girl friend? I tried offering advice but it's absolutely hopeless at this point
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:35 pm to MizzouSEC2012
Damn SoCal, think i would have shite my pants.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:48 pm to semotruman
quote:
Are you kidding?? I'm SOOOOOOO glad we have another chick! And don't worry, it was months before I outed myself too. I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of the fact that I was female.
Exactly!
Semo,
There are several posts I to which I must respond, but yours has to be first. I have so enjoyed your humor and charm on this board.
You were Wendy keeping a watchful eye on the Lost Boys. I never quite decided on Peter Pan. But have now concluded he has to be SoCalMizz! Captain Hook was easy, none other than our own Mizzoukills! Slight plot twist: our CH has lovable alters.
I need to pack, as I am going to a family gathering and will leave early tomorrow. I won't have a chance to read or post, so there may be some withdrawal issues. This place is addicting.
Keep an eye on SM2. The whippersnapper has grown on me.!
Happy Trails!
This post was edited on 10/25/12 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:50 pm to Bogie00
I have a great tiger tale for you to read above 
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:50 pm to Bogie00
quote:
Keep an eye on SM2. The whippersnapper has grown on me.!
Penicillin will help.
Don't get mad SM2, it's a joke.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:52 pm to Mizzeaux
How does penicillin help with psychiatric issues ? 
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:54 pm to MizzouSEC2012
quote:
How does penicillin help with psychiatric issues ?
I was going with the MS2 = Chlamydia joke. Either way it was awesome and underappreciated.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:55 pm to MizzouSEC2012
quote:
How does penicillin help with psychiatric issues ?
I think syphilis leads to mental problems. Just sayin'.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:57 pm to SoCalMIZ
Well I can confidently say I have neither
Posted on 10/25/12 at 10:58 pm to MizzouSEC2012
:thumbsup:
Keep fighting the good fight, brother.
Keep fighting the good fight, brother.
Posted on 10/25/12 at 11:19 pm to notsince98
I highly suspected you would be drawn into this infectious thread. Don't worry, I will still "respect" you in the morning!
Posted on 10/25/12 at 11:22 pm to MizzouSEC2012
Drunken Sailor Story, The Sequel.
In 2000, I was on yet another arduous Six Month Deployment.
A port visit to Phuket, Thailand was announced, and the boat was buzzing. I mean, Thailand, c'mon.
Upon anchoring at sea my friends and I took the Liberty Boat into Phuket, checker into our hotel room and hit the bars. Bangla Road. All I'm going to say is, google it.
After a night of insanity, I decide I must leave my friends and go back to the hotel room. I walk into the street and find some dude on a motorcycle willing to take me back to my hotel. He asks if I have cash, I say of course. We agree on a price. I jump on the back and we're off.
After a motorcycle ride back to my hotel that caused me to question my judgement on agreeing to this ride more than once, we arrive at my hotel.
I dismount and realize that during the ride from hell, my wallet has fallen out of my pocket. I have no money. "Uh oh" I think.
I tell the driver that my wallet has fallen out during the ride. He is visibly upset, and starts yelling, really loud in Thai. He tells me that I must give him something in return for the ride. He points to my shoes. "I wear a 14, you can't fit into these man. What good is that?" He points again, and says "shoes". Reluctantly, I take off my shoes and start to walk away. "No!", he yells, "Your shirt too!" WTF? I refuse. He grabs his whistle, I take off my shirt. Ok, I think, I'm going into the hotel now, this dude is cray-cray. I start to walk off, "No!, your shorts," "frick that" I say, and walk off. The whistle blows, and two police officers arrive in like 3 seconds. Words exchanged in Thai. One of the officers tells me, "you must pay a fare for your ride". "Please", I say, "not my shorts" I'm literally begging. Mr. officer ain't having it.
Reluctantly, I remove my shorts, by this time a small crowd has gathered and there are obvious giggles at this "Farang" giving all of his clothes to the motorcycle driver.
I walk into the hotel I nothing but my boxers, completely defeated. I take the elevator to my room, walk to the door, and realize the key was in my wallet.
I take the walk of shame back down to the lobby, walk to the front desk and get a new key to my room, back to the room, I slide the key into the keys slot...
In 2000, I was on yet another arduous Six Month Deployment.
A port visit to Phuket, Thailand was announced, and the boat was buzzing. I mean, Thailand, c'mon.
Upon anchoring at sea my friends and I took the Liberty Boat into Phuket, checker into our hotel room and hit the bars. Bangla Road. All I'm going to say is, google it.
After a night of insanity, I decide I must leave my friends and go back to the hotel room. I walk into the street and find some dude on a motorcycle willing to take me back to my hotel. He asks if I have cash, I say of course. We agree on a price. I jump on the back and we're off.
After a motorcycle ride back to my hotel that caused me to question my judgement on agreeing to this ride more than once, we arrive at my hotel.
I dismount and realize that during the ride from hell, my wallet has fallen out of my pocket. I have no money. "Uh oh" I think.
I tell the driver that my wallet has fallen out during the ride. He is visibly upset, and starts yelling, really loud in Thai. He tells me that I must give him something in return for the ride. He points to my shoes. "I wear a 14, you can't fit into these man. What good is that?" He points again, and says "shoes". Reluctantly, I take off my shoes and start to walk away. "No!", he yells, "Your shirt too!" WTF? I refuse. He grabs his whistle, I take off my shirt. Ok, I think, I'm going into the hotel now, this dude is cray-cray. I start to walk off, "No!, your shorts," "frick that" I say, and walk off. The whistle blows, and two police officers arrive in like 3 seconds. Words exchanged in Thai. One of the officers tells me, "you must pay a fare for your ride". "Please", I say, "not my shorts" I'm literally begging. Mr. officer ain't having it.
Reluctantly, I remove my shorts, by this time a small crowd has gathered and there are obvious giggles at this "Farang" giving all of his clothes to the motorcycle driver.
I walk into the hotel I nothing but my boxers, completely defeated. I take the elevator to my room, walk to the door, and realize the key was in my wallet.
I take the walk of shame back down to the lobby, walk to the front desk and get a new key to my room, back to the room, I slide the key into the keys slot...
Posted on 10/25/12 at 11:24 pm to SoCalMIZ
I'd have walked the trail from the bar to the hotel before I went to the room.
Hell, from what I've heard about Thailand you may have been able to make some money at the small cost of your dignity.
Awesome story. Glad I've never been in that situation before.
Hell, from what I've heard about Thailand you may have been able to make some money at the small cost of your dignity.
Awesome story. Glad I've never been in that situation before.
This post was edited on 10/25/12 at 11:25 pm
Posted on 10/25/12 at 11:27 pm to Mizzeaux
Mizzeaux, Schedule an Intervention for me on Monday!
This post was edited on 10/25/12 at 11:29 pm
Posted on 10/25/12 at 11:27 pm to Bogie00
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/12/12 at 9:18 am
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