To Former Coach Thomas Hawley Tuberville

Coach Tuberville,
First of all, let me thank you for your 10 years of dedicated and loyal service to Auburn University. Your character and leadership were directly responsible for our success on the field, and the success of our players off the field. Over that 10 year period, we won many games, went to many bowls and were a force in the SEC and the NCAA.

Now that's not to say that I loved everything you did while you were head coach. The fingers thing, smoking the cigars at Tiger Stadium were things that did not reflect well on Auburn University and were not representative of the Auburn family or the Auburn Creed. But we accepted it, because we were winning.

In 2003, a large portion of the Auburn family was outraged that the University, along with some Trustee members, went behind your back and tried to hire another coach. When news of this got out, Auburn fans, alumni and supporters rallied around you, demanding that you be kept and that the people responsible for this underhanded deed be fired. They were, you got a great contract, and you led Auburn to an undefeated season the next year.

I don't know what happened between you and Jay Jacobs at the end of last year's horrible season. To be honest, it seemed like you were distracted the whole season, not really into the game or the team. Perhaps you felt it was time to go, perhaps the university wanted to get rid of you. Whatever the reason, you were no longer the head coach. You walked away with a 5 million dollar buyout, a pretty good amount for a severance check and, more importantly, the respect of the Auburn family.

It has come to our attention that you recently made some pretty obnoxious remarks concerning Auburn's football team in 2009. You stated that it would be difficult for the staff in place to duplicate your success at Auburn. Why did you have to say that? Couldn't you keep you mouth shut, cash your check and spin your bullshite on ESPN? Perhaps everything the Ole Miss people said about you was true....you're a back stabbing, lying sack of shite. You apparently had us all fooled.

Well, you stated in that same interview that you hoped to be coaching again next year, and when and if you do get a job, that team moves to the top of the list (well, behind Bama of course) of teams I hope lose every game. I hope you hire back all of your BBQ buddies, go off to Texas A&M or wherever and get your asses handed to you. Frankly, I hope you are fired in your second year after going 0-fer. I hope that somehow Auburn gets the chance to play your new team, and absolutely skull fricks you. I would hope that Coach Chizik and Coach Malzahn would score every possible point on your team.

In closing, we wish you no success in the future. frick you Tubs, you ungrateful sack of shite.