re: Alright, predict Bama’s record in 2024

vs WKU - W

vs USF - L, trap game. USF looking for revenge against a weakened Gump squad. Gump squad will not have gelled this early in the season. Lots of new players, new system, players who don’t fit the system, etc.

@ Wisky - L, Tough road environment, plus Gumps hung over from loss to USF, and team still not firing on all cylinders yet.

vs UGA - L, obviously

@ Vandy - W, obviously

vs USCe - L, Cocks looking for revenge against a team that’s mostly dominated them in recent memory. A 2-3 Gump team lacking confidence, with a 3/4-filled home stadium. Wheels falling off.

@ Tenn - L, a 2-4 Gump team feeling defeated and pessimistic comes into a rowdy Neyland. Vols looking to embarrass the Bams now that they’re weakened. Game gets ugly.

vs Mizzou - L, Gump players have already given up before the game even starts. If Mizzou can beat an uninspired Ohio St, they can do it to Bama.

@ LSU - L, Rowdy road game. LSU looking to make a statement about the future of the rivalry now that Lil’ Nick is gone. Tigers Win bigly.

vs Mercer - W

@ OU - L, tough road game, OU looking to make a statement during their first year in the conference. They blow out a 3-7 Gump team.

vs Auburn - L, Tigers look to capitalize on a defeated Gump team and get a rivalry win on the road. Gumps keep it close but lose.

They’ll finish the year 3-9.

The next day, Harvey Updyke’s kids, Krymson and Bear, dump tree poison in the Tuscaloosa municipal water supply and burn Bryant-Denny to the ground with DeBoner tied to a goal post.