re: Is this not the definition of targeting?

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Just the opposite.

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you're either seeing what you want to see or you're naïve to how the targeting rules are applied and/or how terms within the targeting rules are defined.

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That's the definition of helmet to helmet

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and herein is where I'm leaning towards your struggle being the latter. Simply helmet to helmet contact =/= targeting

Namely, I don't think you know how "crown of the helmet" is defined within the rule. You take the very top/center of the helmet and draw a 6 inch radius around that spot. If the player isn't defenseless, which Bennet was not, then contact has to be initiated with the crown of the helmet to be targeting, which it was not on that play.