re: Are you even an elite recruit

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You are king of stating the obvious

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While you - on the other hand - are fortunate to somehow remain as the undisputed Fabio fantasy of the eligible females in your state which - not by accident - has the highest concentration of women in this nation who are missing at least one front tooth.
Luckily, just walking out your front door gives you almost constant exposure to that growing mass of babes in your community and state who wear their gingivitis as a badge of honor.
I remember Alabama well...to Periodontists it is the absolute "Holy Land" of advanced gum disease.
Lucky you, Dick Bunion.