Sponsorships for less “flashy” positions

Everyone’s been talking about the players profiting from their names/likeness and the sponsorships that could come with it.

It’s also been widely accepted that MOST of the sponsorships would be going to only a few select players/positions. You know who I’m talking about: QBs, WRs, RBs, maybe the occasional TE or DB.

What I’m here to discuss are which businesses might be willing to sponsor the unsung heroes of the team: linemen. They’re the cornerstone of any elite offense/defense and yet they get so little love.


Until now

I present to you the ideal lineman sponsor: port-a-johns.



Yes folks, you read that correctly! Port-a-johns!

Picture it now: a behemoth of a man (comparable to a fat Thor) standing in front of one of these inspirational plastic pedestals for poo.

“I gotta tell you guys, as a man who’s been described most of his life as being ‘built like a brick sh*thouse’, I know quality. You don’t eat three Caniac meals and a bucket of gumbo a day without making a few trips to the can. But don’t take my word for it! Let’s have a closer look.”



“Mmmhmm. Now that’s craftsmanship! Capable of taking a load and feeling good doing it!”

And that’s not all!

“(Generic Port-a-John) has also become the official port-a-john of (your college) because they love our (mascot) as much as you do and want to help prevent such tragedies as



And



from ever happening to our team.”

*Camera cuts to a sad, contemplative Elijah Moore*

“Terrible. Just terrible.”

“So come on down today and let us, your number one port-a-john dealer, help you take a load off!”

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Feel free to post your own sponsor/commercial ideas for any position as well!