Please consider me for worst poster

Dear SEC Rant,

I present to you my personalized shitpost, and in return I would like you to nominate me for the worst poster on the SEC Rant.

It's a slow night. SummerOfGeorge has beset the forum with several statistical threads, people are flinging boogers at each other about their football team's blue blood status, and some people are jousting over a children's spelling bee.

Let's spice things up.

Louisiana is the worst state in America, according to this trusty map that I will continue to reference from just to piss off people from Louisiana.



This source, which I shall refer to in any future posts as The Map, also shows that Alabama is the second worst state in America.

Speaking of Alabama, Alabama has the ugliest people. Here's another trusty map (not to be confused with The Map.) Don't hate me, Alabama. Hate America for voting for you the most.



The only reason Alabama was voted as the ugliest state was because the voters never saw this picture:



Kentucky's basketball program is as dirty as a pair of Kentucky lungs. I have never seen a woman in Kentucky who did not have a cigarette in her mouth, unless said mouth was munching on high fructose junk food.



LSU, don't feel too special about your sexual misconduct cases. Vanderbilt University's football players were known for that long before Derrius Guice ever was.

About conference expansions- it's 2021. Stop complaining. Different schools introduce traditions that naturally appear foreign to us founding SEC members. Whether it be jizz jars, gay cheerleaders or finger-painted poop swastikas, you all need to be accepting of our new members' traditions.

Stay tuned. If you were left out, you will be hit next. If you were included, you will be hit again. If you're South Carolina, I just now remembered you existed, so remind me next time if I forget about you.

Please channel all anger, resentment and hurt fee-fees to the impending

2021 SECRant Worst Poster Tournament

Thank you,
Starkvingrad