Last night was the worst night in Razorback history

fricking north end zone torn up eye sore, fitting!

Gus fricking Malzahn and his MASSIVE frickING EGO "showing us who's boss" while we - Arkansas! - are coached by a Big Ten glutton who was hired "because he wrote a really sweet letter to Jeff Long about" some fricktard load of tear-jerker somethingthefrickother.

I have pics of my brothers and me as tiny kids at the 1975 Arkansas/Texas game, where dad pointed out Earl Campbell, and while we lost that game, we knew we were an elite program still and had been beaten that day, not by a large margin, by the best. As a tiny kid, I knew that. Broyles then, and Holtz would jump at our job two years later.

Fast forward decades later, and we are coached by the Carb King. Big money Carb King who knows more about his contract than he does about football. And he blames kids during post game pressers.

There's a lot that I skipped in between those decades. The local yokel fricking politics that helped begin our downward spiral being the catalyst.

I blame every big fish in a small pond all across Arkansas. That's the frick who to blame. They caused the slow death with Danny Ford and Houston Nutt. Why? Because they "had access", whatever the frick that means. Danny Ford made them feel good at some fish fry and so, that was the guy for them! Then Nutt, another used car salesman. Make those little legends in their own minds feel good, and they will burn the landscape down demanding you be hired.

Bammers, did you know that most big Arkansas fish will brag to the proverbial city cafe on Monday morning about how they spent the weekend in Gulf Shores or Destin? Or if they've ever been laid over in Boston, they'll find a way to brag on message boards about "having been in the Boston airport when they heard about Bielema being hired." Point being, they had to include themselves in the narrative. Because they are fricktard loser "big fish" with coach's penises in their mouths from fish fries. Until that coach loses and then they start yelling about Arkansas people with real money to fix all the shite that just went wrong.

If I'm not making myself clear, I don't GAF. I'm about to hit "submit" without making myself clear.

Don't care.

frick you Gus and congrats on your Super Bowl last night and frick you if you think you're going to bail on Auburn and get our job. frick. YOU.

frick you big fish in small ponds. I LOVE SMALL PONDS! I WANT ONE! But I don't want the big fish mixed in! Small town bank vice presidents at the table next to me at Sara's Cafe. STFU and let me eat my eggs without hearing about your trip to that big fricking lake in San Marcos. frick you!

Fire Bert! Hire Frost or Campbell or Norvell and let's move out of this stagnation of literal pond poison. I don't blame Jeff Long unless he does not fire Bert. Jeff, fire Bert. Or GTFO and let us move forward.