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Kellen Mond
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:28 am
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:28 am
WtF is this about? Please tell me its not real... The Whataburger talk makes me think it isnt... And i cant find anything else but this article. It came up on a goolge card for me...
SHOCKING?: A&M QB Kellen Mond Shows Up To? Summer Drills 100 Pounds Heavier
The Aggie playcaller claims he is merely standing in solidarity with the trademark Texas restaurant chain Whataburger.
By Rush Roberts
on June 18, 2019 2:43 pm
72310989.jpg.0.jpg
Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
WOW!
As first reported on Twitter, the Aggie QB has certainly packed on the pounds since Spring Practice wrapped up.
The normally svelte and soft-spoken playcaller amazed teammates with his newfound slab-of-beef physique Monday as he rolled through campus on a Segway scooter toting a wagonload of contraband Whataburgers, an homage to the fast food corporation’s recent announcement that it’s about to go nationwide.
“Enjoy them while they still have that distinct Texas flavor,” he announced through a mouthful of fries as he frantically slung the warm and delicious-smelling yellow-wrapped burgers to his eager teammates. “Before long, they’ll be flying scabs down from Chicago to work in your favorite local Whataburger, slowly eroding the time-tested recipes we’ve all grown to love.”
Mond, a junior from San Antonio (home of Whataburger’s? corporate headquarters) continued to take all the reps with the first team offense, despite his substantial bulk and dangerously-high cholesterol. He remains surprisingly nimble on his feet, and has even gained a touch of physicality in the running game.
Coach Jimbo Fisher could not be reached for comment, as he is currently out in the field procuring more beef for his thicc & hearty ?QB.??
LINK
SHOCKING?: A&M QB Kellen Mond Shows Up To? Summer Drills 100 Pounds Heavier
The Aggie playcaller claims he is merely standing in solidarity with the trademark Texas restaurant chain Whataburger.
By Rush Roberts
on June 18, 2019 2:43 pm
72310989.jpg.0.jpg
Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
WOW!
As first reported on Twitter, the Aggie QB has certainly packed on the pounds since Spring Practice wrapped up.
The normally svelte and soft-spoken playcaller amazed teammates with his newfound slab-of-beef physique Monday as he rolled through campus on a Segway scooter toting a wagonload of contraband Whataburgers, an homage to the fast food corporation’s recent announcement that it’s about to go nationwide.
“Enjoy them while they still have that distinct Texas flavor,” he announced through a mouthful of fries as he frantically slung the warm and delicious-smelling yellow-wrapped burgers to his eager teammates. “Before long, they’ll be flying scabs down from Chicago to work in your favorite local Whataburger, slowly eroding the time-tested recipes we’ve all grown to love.”
Mond, a junior from San Antonio (home of Whataburger’s? corporate headquarters) continued to take all the reps with the first team offense, despite his substantial bulk and dangerously-high cholesterol. He remains surprisingly nimble on his feet, and has even gained a touch of physicality in the running game.
Coach Jimbo Fisher could not be reached for comment, as he is currently out in the field procuring more beef for his thicc & hearty ?QB.??
LINK
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:30 am to auburn2eugene
Kellen Mond is now Kellen Grand
This post was edited on 6/19/19 at 10:30 am
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:30 am to auburn2eugene
quote:
Please tell me its not real...
Are you real?
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:32 am to auburn2eugene
Deer antler spray, breakfast tacos, tacos for lunch (fighting off those who would steal them) and then brisket for dinner.
Hell yeah it's real!
** GBH is full on parody **
Hell yeah it's real!
** GBH is full on parody **
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:32 am to auburn2eugene
quote:
Please tell me its not real
OK, it's not real. I don't think Rush Roberts has once written a serious article.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:36 am to finestfirst79
quote:
OK, it's not real. I don't think Rush Roberts has once written a serious article.
Thank you. It just blindsided me when i was looking through my google cards and one says SHOCKING! KELLEN MOND SHOWS UP 100LBS HEAVIER FOR SUMMER CAMP
And i was speachless. The article didnt say it was satire and im unfamiliar with the writer so i had to ask.
Thanks again.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:36 am to auburn2eugene
I'm now second guessing our move to the SEC. My lord.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:37 am to auburn2eugene
It's true.
He gained 100 lbs of pure muscle in the last two months. Dropped his forty to a 3.8. He passed all his PED screenings too. Piss was cleaner than a 5 year old's.
Better pray to Jesus that he doesn't decide to be a run-first QB.
He gained 100 lbs of pure muscle in the last two months. Dropped his forty to a 3.8. He passed all his PED screenings too. Piss was cleaner than a 5 year old's.
Better pray to Jesus that he doesn't decide to be a run-first QB.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 10:40 am to auburn2eugene
quote:
The article didnt say it was satire and im unfamiliar with the writer so i had to ask.
In fairness to you, his articles generally have "Funny Business" in the header, and this one doesn't. It's probably funnier in Texas, where folks have a strange obsession with Whataburger.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:07 am to auburn2eugene
Current (last month or so) Mond photos.
He’s not a fatty yet.
Give him another year or so of Tijuana Fries from the Dixie Chicken
(with extra ranch, of course).
He’s not a fatty yet.
Give him another year or so of Tijuana Fries from the Dixie Chicken
(with extra ranch, of course).
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:22 am to auburn2eugene
Oh no, we’re screwed!
But that photo does resemble Jorvorskie Lane...hmm
But that photo does resemble Jorvorskie Lane...hmm
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:27 am to EKG
I thought you were taking a sabbatical young lady.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:33 am to CGSC Lobotomy
I was/am (at much less of a frequency, anyway).
Then I surfed in and saw a Mond post and was suckered in.
It’s the loonies (tsips & angry Cajuns) who drive me nuts and will be avoided at all costs.
Then I surfed in and saw a Mond post and was suckered in.
It’s the loonies (tsips & angry Cajuns) who drive me nuts and will be avoided at all costs.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:36 am to EKG
I would avoid this thread then.
Literally the same clown responding to itself and all of its alters taking up nearly half of the posts.
Literally the same clown responding to itself and all of its alters taking up nearly half of the posts.
Posted on 6/19/19 at 11:43 am to CGSC Lobotomy
That cat (dstone) is straight-up unhinged.
In all my years in the message board world (I helped Peter Kuo create TexAgs), I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such a crackpot.
In all my years in the message board world (I helped Peter Kuo create TexAgs), I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such a crackpot.
This post was edited on 6/19/19 at 11:49 am
Posted on 6/19/19 at 12:01 pm to EKG
Really? Not even Randolph Duke?
Posted on 6/19/19 at 12:14 pm to CGSC Lobotomy
Oh, he’s (RD) a lunatic, but his crazy has some sort of semblance of predictability to it.
Randy just flat-out hates.
But I could swear that dstone character has manic episodes and is disconnected from reality.
He types in long, complex sentences that don't make a lick of sense.
His thoughts are unrecognizable, and his words are all wrong.
Coo coo ka choo.
Randy just flat-out hates.
But I could swear that dstone character has manic episodes and is disconnected from reality.
He types in long, complex sentences that don't make a lick of sense.
His thoughts are unrecognizable, and his words are all wrong.
Coo coo ka choo.
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