Confessions of A ‘Bama Bagman

Many of you have complained over the years about the Refs being biased for Alabama. You’ve said that Saban is good friends with the commissioner or with Steve Shaw. You’ve pointed out that Shaw is a ‘Bama grad. I’m here to say that you are right, but not in the way that you think.

You see, I am the conduit. Steve Shaw is a relative through my wife’s brother’s wife’s family. I know it all sounds like a lot of people, but were actually much closer than it would seem. Anyway, Saban found out about this, and began a little program through our family to, let’s just say, help make sure that Alabama gets 4 national championships in 10 years.

I have a little $2500 pool of bonus money. I get the family discount, but it is really inexpensive to buy off Refs. I probably shouldn’t say that, as I don’t really want to start at bidding war. LOL. Also, since Steve went to ‘Bama, we get another discount. Anyway, each crew gets $250 to split each game to help make sure that Alabama gets helpful calls, like that one against LSU when the guy intercepted the ball on the sideline. Yep. It was in bounds, but my $250 helped make sure that he was out. All those holding calls. You were absolutely right about those too. You see, under no circumstances are the Refs to call holding against us in a big game. However, if things get out of hand, then they can run a little interference by calling a hold or illegal man down field – just so people don’t get suspicious, and we can say, “See, that guy got called for holding.”

You may not have noticed this, but in the LSU game one of our bought and paid for Refs made a really boo boo. Ridley caught a slant and moved down deep into LSU territory, but the play was called back for an illegal man down field. That poor Ref was trying to run one of those interference plays spoken of earlier. He felt safe in doing so, because Hurts basically can’t successfully pass the ball more than 20 yards down field. Oops. Boy was he apologetic.

Anyway, I feel so guilty for helping to perpetrate this scheme against the rest of the SEC. I had to get this off of my chest. I will try to write more later about all of the other things I’ve done: like rigging the 2015 Iron Bowl game with that fake late hit penalty, including an extra $25 to the Ref that flopped on the sideline to make it all look real bad. Stan was right. We don’t win if we don’t get that call.


CC: Mark Allan Emmert

TLDR: You were sooo right. "Bama been buying off Refs