Ode to the Florida Gator Fan

"Ode to the Florida Gator Fan"

Down in the swamp where the humidity reigns,
Lives a tribe of folks with questionable brains.
They roar "Go Gators!" with orange-blue pride,
While their jorts ride high and their mullets glide.

He’s got gold chains clinkin’, a sunburned tan,
And drives his Camaro like it’s a Trans-Am.
Tailgate starts early with Natty Light cans,
'Cause hydration’s key for a Florida man.

She’s rockin’ flip-flops and big hoop rings,
Thinks Tebow still walks on angel wings.
Together they cheer, “We chomp! We fight!”
Then lose to Georgia under Saturday night.

They’ll argue the refs, the weather, the field,
And swear this year’s “The one — it’s sealed!”
But bless their hearts, they’ll always try,
With jorts so tight they could qualify.

So here’s to the Gators, loud and brash,
With mullets flowing in a denim flash.
May your Camaros run and your flip-flops last —
But your football dreams… stay stuck in the past.