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Vaccinated Help Wanted: Inquire Within.
Posted on 6/6/21 at 10:46 am
Posted on 6/6/21 at 10:46 am
Hi Folks,
Not sure, this is the right forum but I'm giving it a shot! (pun intended). I'm looking for help!
Background
Our resident COVID-19 vaccine expert, forestwhitackersgood, has let us know that the vaccine emits a EMF signal and can be partnered with 5G technology.
Source for Scientific Proof.
Job Description
Being the Capitalist/American that I am, I have bought the largest 5G tablet on the market. Due to gaps in wireless signal in Bryant Denny Stadium. (Let's be real, we've all faced them) I am looking for a vaccinated person to sit next to me to help boost my signal. The football ticket(s) will be free to you.
I have Sling TV and other streaming platforms. We will be able to watch the Alabama game live, the Broadcast version of the game AND whatever games that are going on concurrently.
Basic Qualifications:
You're vaccinated. (If you die, wait until after the game and do it away from me)
You're cool. (Sorry, RiverCityTider or LovetheLord.)
You like to receive high fives after good plays.
You like to boo during opposing team injuries (since they are always faking).
and you're a chill drunk.
Preferred Qualifications:
You have the "Maderna" vaccine.
You're a woman who can tape the tablet and A LOT of booze to your legs under your dress or skirt.
You're a hot woman, open to Netflix and Chill, and willing to give written consent (because you never know these days)
If interested, please reach out directly. Interviews will be set up next week.
God bless and go America!
Not sure, this is the right forum but I'm giving it a shot! (pun intended). I'm looking for help!
Background
Our resident COVID-19 vaccine expert, forestwhitackersgood, has let us know that the vaccine emits a EMF signal and can be partnered with 5G technology.
Source for Scientific Proof.
Job Description
Being the Capitalist/American that I am, I have bought the largest 5G tablet on the market. Due to gaps in wireless signal in Bryant Denny Stadium. (Let's be real, we've all faced them) I am looking for a vaccinated person to sit next to me to help boost my signal. The football ticket(s) will be free to you.
I have Sling TV and other streaming platforms. We will be able to watch the Alabama game live, the Broadcast version of the game AND whatever games that are going on concurrently.
Basic Qualifications:
You're vaccinated. (If you die, wait until after the game and do it away from me)
You're cool. (Sorry, RiverCityTider or LovetheLord.)
You like to receive high fives after good plays.
You like to boo during opposing team injuries (since they are always faking).
and you're a chill drunk.
Preferred Qualifications:
You have the "Maderna" vaccine.
You're a woman who can tape the tablet and A LOT of booze to your legs under your dress or skirt.
You're a hot woman, open to Netflix and Chill, and willing to give written consent (because you never know these days)
If interested, please reach out directly. Interviews will be set up next week.
God bless and go America!
4
Posted on 6/6/21 at 10:50 am to UASports23
This post gave me joy
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:01 am to SummerOfGeorge
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:04 am to UASports23
quote:
But with the EMF field that this "vaccine" emits(one of our technicians can place a piece of metal where he got the jab and it's magnetic) along with 5G technology that some who actually study this stuff and appeared before congress saying that we should do more research into this, I can promise you that when the time comes, you'll wish that you hadn't... Why would you take a vaccine that literally utilizes mRNA to alter your DNA?? WHy are we screwing with the BASIC building blocks of life?
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:11 am to UASports23
What’s the Pay? And what kind of benefits(health, dental, etc)?
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:13 am to mistaken4193
quote:
What’s the Pay? And what kind of benefits(health, dental, etc)?
Uh, you get to enjoy the company of OP and use your newfound vaccine powers for good.
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:33 am to mistaken4193
quote:
What’s the Pay?
Slaves, which is what you'll become once Bill Gates activates your chip and turns you into a zombie soldier in his army of world conquest, don't get paid.
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:49 am to Robot Santa
quote:
zombie soldier in his army of world conquest
Sounds kind of metal
Posted on 6/6/21 at 11:51 am to Robot Santa
quote:
zombie soldier in his army of world conquest
I saw this movie two weeks ago on Netflix.
Army of the Dead.
They even had robot zombies.
Posted on 6/7/21 at 2:52 pm to TideSaint
That movie was not good.
Posted on 6/7/21 at 2:55 pm to UASports23
I love this post so much I wish I had a million alters to each give it an upvote
Posted on 6/7/21 at 3:04 pm to alabamabuckeye
Bruh, you don't need a million alters. Five will do.
Posted on 6/8/21 at 3:49 pm to UASports23
I do not meet some of the seemingly most important requirements... however, I am willing to wear a skirt and tape said implements to my thighs.... more importantly, NO Security agent will ever wish to pat me down for contraband....
I make a very ugly woman... but believe we could have a fun day at the park... written permission would not be necessary, I am not that kind of girl!!!
I make a very ugly woman... but believe we could have a fun day at the park... written permission would not be necessary, I am not that kind of girl!!!
Posted on 6/8/21 at 4:24 pm to RollTide66
Ok but what does that have to do with the vaccine?
Posted on 6/15/21 at 1:23 pm to SummerOfGeorge
quote:
Uh, you get to enjoy the company of OP and use your newfound vaccine powers for good.
Hey, I have a name.
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