Welp, Carl Lindberg is dead

I was at one of his shows at Tasty World when he came out with that band right after/during Squat, and I yelled out "Play one for Satan!" and he yelled back "You're playing for the wrong team bro!" and the crowd cheered. This was 1990-something.


Who's playing for the wrong team now?

Sucks for his mom. If that's true, she's pretty much done. I speak from experience.

Heroin?

i heard that he did shoot himself..

One shot did the trick.

Luckily. Because the second shell mis-loaded..


Makes you wonder why he loaded three shells. Weird.

I ended up down the rabbit hole on this topic and read up on all the conspiracy theories. But although it's pretty riveting fricking reading, it just doesn't wash, imo.

THe only thing maybe to be entertained is if this trash piece of shite Courtney Love may have not provided the actual suicide note....

If you read the actual suicide note, it comes across as basically a letter about retiring from Nirvana and the music business. All until some add-on nonsensical lines at the bottom in what may or may not be different hand-writing.

Of course, Cobain was a stoned out shell of a human at that point, so should any lucid sense be expected from him by then?

Whatever. I don't know.

But, why would someone who hates fans and people and the world, etc....stoop to writing a detailed suicide note to all these people?

quote:

---

Carl had a 3 year old daughter.

---

That's horrible and dumbfounding. And I'm sorry to hear it.

That's not how depression works. Imagine loathing yourself so much that you can't even conceive how someone else can love you. Not your parents. Not your wife. Not even your own child. It's a dark and lonely path. It can truly encompass your entire being, every aspect of your life. You can't escape. Suicide isn't selfish at that point, because you literally have no self worth. The pain and sorrow becomes just to much to bear, and you feel like you are actually doing the world and all of your loved ones a favor. I know it's difficult to understand, but depression can complete suffocate you until there is no other way out. If you know someone who is dealing with depression, don't scoff at them and tell them to man up. Try to explain to them that the are worthy of life and love and try to get them help! RIP Carl. I didn't know you, but I know that pain.

That's the thing, it is more than a dark spot. It's pure darkness. There is no light. The crazy thing is you can still go on with your daily interactions and smile and laugh. Inside your telling yourself it is fake. You laugh at a joke simply because others are laughing, but that nagging voice creeps back in and tells you that nothing is actually funny or enjoyable. The other crazy thing is the descent into the abyss really isn't gradual. One minute your alright, and the next minute you're completely encompassed with pain and dread in a way you think no one else could understand. You don't even think other people care. Hell, you KNOW that no one cares. It's something I've battled off and on throughout my life. I rarely, if ever, talk about it. I've learned ways to cope with and recognize the symptoms, but it is incredibly hard to talk about, because you really think no one even cares. It's a very surreal and out of body type thing, and the power of your brain takes over and convinces you. Plus the prevailing attitude (especially as a male) is man up and stop being a pussy, when it is so much more than that.

Having said that, it completely sucks for his little girl and family, and I feel horrible for everyone he has left behind. I have witnessed those effects first hand, and I wish it on no one!