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Tybee

Posted on 12/18/12 at 12:57 pm
Posted by nuwaydawg
Member since Nov 2007
1915 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 12:57 pm
R.I.P to one of the funniest story tellers that ever lived.

quote:

alright then.last week ex-zilla told me i had to exercise my prenatal duties and adress some disciple problems with my son at his skool or she was puttin the dogs on me..being cynophobic naturally i comitted..
this would be a multi-bird stoning effort.i had been looking for a reason for a few months to head back and see this senorita i had met right before i moved back home.she was a dead on eva longoria.well except for being a good bit taller.and maybe lighter brown hair.definitely a bigger rack..alright so she was mexican..but she had been poppin up at all my hangouts.like a sexy whack a mole that needed to be popped on the head.she had been pretty elusive up till i left.i knew there was a prize in that box.fiance would just half to get therapy for it..

so i called ahead and everything sounded beneficial.lets make it happen.i moseyed into the upstate late monday afternoon..gettin thru columbia was like walkin thru pnut butter in flip flops but i prevailed.made time to push thru woofruff on the way in to see a man bout a mule.wont give a sundry list for the sake of the kids,but we'll say i was intent on creating that timeless dirty dancing scene.except instead of a log there was narcotics,and i hoped cramp inducing fricking would take the place of ballet.for this reason i picked up some magic dick pills.like a romantic geico policy.no rolling stone left unturned..
about the girl.she had not long before we met moved up from san antonio.probly had to blow a half dozen minutemen to get there.which is fine.i call that moxy.she had a sister there and moved to easley to work at the kayak factory.i hoped instantly she had citizenship issues

fast forward.the night was a ravishing success.i sung talking heads on karaoke.she ate like 5 bowls of salsa and i tried not to contemplate her colorectal health..i was fubar'd as frick by the time i called for the national deficit size check and wondered how torn she was.then she argued with me for 15 minutes about which truck was mine.cash money baby.she'd be unfurling her fajita in short order.i drove home like tron..

so,circus shite withdrawn,it was a remarkable night.may have gotten the neighbor pregnant.its quite the fog.what i do know is when i recognized the tortured rite-aid alarm clock it read 9:47am..whoa frick.the conference was at 10..undelay..pissed in the sink while i was brushing teeth,jumped in jeans and a tshirt and busted out the door.with no regard for ticketry,i made it to the skool in like 4 dry heaves.i would not let my son down.we would rectify his business today.and keep the canines off me
it was as i pulling into the learning center that i noticed something awry.i was packin a 5000psi yard on.i mean like a steak knife.holy frick..whats a dad to do.so i bounced out the truck and got to relocating my stiff business.the thigh tuck wouldnt work.too rigid..after several shifts i ended up just going flag pole and crammin it up behind my trusty bocephus belt buckle under my shirt.the cap was purple and looked like it was about to split apart like a dutch toy but it was veiled and had to do..
well as i hit the door you can imagine what transpired nest.yeah.the class bell rang.it was 10oclock.the oily levy broke and within seconds the hall was rife with beibers and cyrus's.and i had no idea where i was goin.numerous tots got the elbow.i was feverish..it was then that time froze.i glanced over into a mirrorish trophy case.wow..here i stand.eyes traffic cone red.hair like amber waves of unkempt dead grass.a dirty hooters shirt cloaking what only i knew to be a cylindrical piece of mahogany.ive had better mornings..
well,i found a rental cop that ushered me tardily to my son and a pissy guidance counselor that looked like carla off cheers.my son seemed relieved.but not really..short story short we put together an action plan.i had snatched him from the jaws of academic execution.and it felt good.then they let me sign him out early and we had sushi on the way to his moms.what seemed at times like a disastrous attempt turned into a magical bonding affair..so never look at one gift horse in the hand.miracles come in large packages sometimes..
Posted by Lord of the Board
Member since Nov 2012
2045 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:14 pm to
Good Stuff
Posted by K9
wayx....BOBO IN '19
Member since Sep 2012
23953 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:30 pm to

Got anymore?
Posted by retooc
Freeport, FL
Member since Sep 2012
7431 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:30 pm to
Stateline (I think) calimed Tybee to be a made up alter.

Either way, had some classic posts.
Posted by FinleyStreet
Member since Aug 2011
7895 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:34 pm to
An entertaining poster, definitely, but I find these sporadic allusions to him to be a little strange.
Posted by RattletrapDawg
Valdosta
Member since Sep 2012
2056 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:41 pm to
quote:

Stateline (I think) calimed Tybee to be a made up alter.
So, the alter died, not a real man?
Posted by ugafan77
Member since Nov 2012
743 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:43 pm to
How do yall know tybee is really dead?? Did any of yall go to his funeral??
Posted by RattletrapDawg
Valdosta
Member since Sep 2012
2056 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 1:50 pm to
quote:

How do yall know tybee is really dead?? Did any of yall go to his funeral??
No one that I know of knows if he is really dead.
Posted by TT9
Global warming
Member since Sep 2008
82952 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 2:01 pm to
The guy that posted only the poli board said he knew him and he indeed had died.
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 2:14 pm to
classic fricking dawgrant shite right there....that guy was always hilarious...RIP


by the way nuway...how you been man?


edit: i am now listening to jamey johnson's "high cost of living"...how ironic...
This post was edited on 12/18/12 at 2:16 pm
Posted by AlaCowboy
North Alabama
Member since Dec 2011
6938 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

An entertaining poster, definitely, but I find these sporadic allusions to him to be a little strange.


He struck a sort of Joe Montana-ish aura here.

This post was edited on 12/18/12 at 2:55 pm
Posted by RunLindsayRun
LaGrange | Athens
Member since Sep 2012
2726 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 4:31 pm to
quote:

How do yall know tybee is really dead?? Did any of yall go to his funeral??


His fricking brother posted all the details about his death you heartless a-hole.
Posted by ugafan77
Member since Nov 2012
743 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 4:44 pm to
You mad my little bitch...well keep crying then little boy
Posted by Porter Osborne Jr
Member since Sep 2012
39952 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 4:55 pm to
Hey look at that, you finally figured out how to reply to the correct person. My little troll is growing up
Posted by ugafan77
Member since Nov 2012
743 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 4:59 pm to
Shutup old foggie
Posted by Batdawg
Member since Dec 2012
360 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 4:59 pm to
So is he virtually dead or dead, dead??
Posted by Porter Osborne Jr
Member since Sep 2012
39952 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 5:04 pm to
quote:

Shutup old foggie


It's so hard to raise a troll these days. They want to act cool in front of their friends and act all big and tough and talk back. Watch out or I'll let uncle Robby1220 bend you over his knee and give you a good spanking.
Posted by ugafan77
Member since Nov 2012
743 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 5:10 pm to
What the hell are you talking about??? Hey brah dont hate the world because your boyfriend tybee died. Are you calling mullet robby.. uncle rico...it sounds like it
Posted by Porter Osborne Jr
Member since Sep 2012
39952 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 5:19 pm to
Don't talk about your uncle that way son.
Posted by Lord of the Board
Member since Nov 2012
2045 posts
Posted on 12/18/12 at 5:20 pm to
You really need to respect the ones who got you to where you are today as a troll.
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