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Hi. my name is

Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:21 pm
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:21 pm
Chef shady
Love lazy
Beatles bailey
Lenny bruce Wayne
Batshit crazy
No prescription
Not lately
Five a piece?
Gimme eighty
Off the needle
Like layne Staley
Still kinky
Like ray davies
In so much pussy
Ellen had to taste me
Too much dick
To be this pasty
Seven rehabs
Couldnt phase me
Lew right clicked me
Couldnt save me
I bought her liquor
She couldnt chase me
Put her in the corner
She couldnt face me
You can quote me
Just dont trace me
It took an army
Just to raise me
If I wore sandals
You'd tithe and praise me
Think cherry garcia
Your brains are tasty
Free range gangster
Don't wanna waste me

Night before christmas
All across the south
5oclock somewhere
2am at chefs house
Two skinny bitches
Knocked out in my bed
Toes were french
Asses were red
Both were ugly as frick
Both were divorced
One name was Tammy
The other Delores
Both suffered roundhouses
To the clitoris
Pain pills and rum
A young charles norris
Both them humming
An r kelly chorus
Gave em both ftd's
Now chef is a florist

Headed to the recliner
For a long winters nap
Will jesus see his shadow
End this cold weather crap
Fell asleep watching cheaters
Pills had me tired
Someone shite down my chimney
Put out my fire
Sprang into the air
Like a toasty piece of bread
Barely legal strippers
No longer in my head........




Posted by Broncothor
Member since Jul 2014
3050 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:26 pm to
You are twisted in a very entertaining way. Nice read.
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:34 pm to
Im american as frick. I just lifted a stouffer's lasagna out the oven with my bare hands. and that should worry all of you . I like my politicians old, white, an wealthy. When I was young, I sold my everlasting soul to satan just to be good at call of duty. I wasnt using it anyway
Posted by Spunky
Member since Mar 2013
10020 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:35 pm to
So you need to stick to dirt, way more creative and fun. Other shite gave you carpal tunnel so bad you couldn't type.. I like this chef more.
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:41 pm to
And its 2k a week vs about 500
New year, new me
Trying to be fiscally responsible
Posted by Litigator
Hog Jaw, Arkansas
Member since Oct 2013
7535 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:47 pm to


LINK

And #inb4threadgetswhackedbcuzoftitle
Posted by tylerdurden24
Member since Sep 2009
46392 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 3:57 pm to
I think Chef is immune to the rule.
Posted by Litigator
Hog Jaw, Arkansas
Member since Oct 2013
7535 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 4:04 pm to
Probably so.

Fortunately I think Chef has built up an immunity to many different things.
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 4:11 pm to
I had this dream the other night. Joe biden landed on my roof with 10 or so magic mooses. I launched for the desert eagle under my coffee table. ran out into the yard and caught thornton in the thigh and two moose in the throat. They all slid down and crushed the cab of my truck. It was like a tim burton plateau. you can't always get what you want. but you always. get what you need. aw yeah
Posted by tylerdurden24
Member since Sep 2009
46392 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 4:53 pm to
Yep, he has poetic license to say what he wants in the manner by which he feels it needs to be said
Posted by Spunky
Member since Mar 2013
10020 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 5:55 pm to
Forgive me for my ignorance on wholesale prices on dope, but which is more expensive?
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 10:34 pm to
It depends on whence you you reside. In atl its close to the the same. you can get shock the monkey fish scale if you drive to the deck for a buck a germ. with pedigree, you can can get a point of that tom brady for 10. and it might be chopped with walking dead. like baltimore, where my brothers at

Elsewhere ,soil is double. like savannah. they got that steve harvey for 200 a piece and 450 a ball. but you cant even get sick off it. id rather go to the clinic really. for reference I drawed up a half like of donkey kong down in new Orleans and died on the way to the hospital. that shite was mustard. and I cant wait to get back down there
Posted by LedDawgK
GA
Member since Jan 2013
1858 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 11:14 pm to
A Christmas Mad Lib..ooh fun!
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 11:20 pm to
I had a Charles Norris line on standby I forgot to use
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/24/15 at 11:25 pm to
Never mind. I did use it
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/25/15 at 10:26 pm to
Here's the thing about dv's. Dont get me wrong. I love em. taste like chicken. I had the OT record a while back until Rex came along. but down votes are whats wrong with society. Ok. check me out. you have a message board with a bunch of anonymous assholes talking shite to each other. A few special ed retards like me who post their real name, pics of the chicks they frick, their phone number, email etc. But thats another story. So lets just say we're mostly all anonymous. But lets take it a step further. If I dont like you, or dislike some shite you post, im going to click this sad little arrow. Im going to throw one egg at your house and run. Personally, I love telling someone I don't like them or that their opinion sucks. Its one of my favorite things about me. Or just drop in with a finely tuned insult. Like "your mothers crotch smells like an AA meeting" or "your sisters breath smells like apartheid". both of those are acceptable. Just dont be a bitch. make enemies. have a fricking opinion

True story. I got kicked out of st.Michaels for two weeks in 5th grade for smashing a nun in the face with a cupcake. she had smacked me with a ruler for talking in line. so I calmly reached into my lunch bag. grabbed a cupcake my mom made the night before. walked to the front of the line and smashed that god damn cupcake in sister catherine's face. bitch was still wearing an eye patch when I came back to school. being dramatic. you know why I got kicked out for two weeks instead of one? because I wouldnt fricking apologize. even though my dad beat me like a runaway slave. because frick that. Im still glad the bitch had corneal abrasion. I still run into motherfrickers at the beach that tell me that was one of their best childhood memories

Another true story. when I was in my 20s I was fricked up and pulled into the parkers on president street one night. the one on the black side. while I was pumping gas some coon was arguing with his fat arse girlfriend. he reached in the car and grabbed her by the shirt like he was gonna pull her out the window. I could tell he was about to hit her. I ran up on him and beat that motherfricker half to death. went to jail for it. I'd do it again

My whole point is, stand for something. Have a god damn opinion. Be a fricking man. don't sit their behind your nerdy arse qwerty consantino wire and lob down votes like a buck tooth bitch. assert yourself. be like trump. say the wrong thing, but say SOMETHING. you can believe I will. except for those I've been warned I'll be banned for fricking with. but best believe I get the itch though. bad

Merry christmas cocksuckers
Posted by 83dawg
Cumming, GA.
Member since Sep 2012
803 posts
Posted on 12/26/15 at 12:49 am to
Awesome...
Posted by Chef Leppard
Member since Sep 2011
11739 posts
Posted on 12/26/15 at 3:48 am to
Oh my god. I just went in on you bitches didn't even misspell anything
.the frick you talkin bout

Where can you get that creflo dollar mic drop? here **** PREACH

I just did a 40 bag of dope and smashed on all yalll
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54611 posts
Posted on 12/26/15 at 9:52 am to
quote:

When I was young, I sold my everlasting soul to satan


If Satan gave you more than 50 cents he got ripped off.
Posted by Spunky
Member since Mar 2013
10020 posts
Posted on 12/26/15 at 11:11 am to
What kinda cupcake was it?
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