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Day 8 of a 5 day cleanse
Posted on 10/30/15 at 7:36 am
Posted on 10/30/15 at 7:36 am
Her large doughy breasts sagged like the arse cheeks of a WWII veteran. Her stare devoured me. She wondered if I could make her wet, the way the bus driver used to after school. I wondered too. She eased back in the recliner and divided her short, husky legs. It was just a complete mess. Like an open bible on a park bench soaked in texas pete. A grizzly love clam that knew eight languages. I needed support and of course big Tony was still passed out in the car. This is why I didnt join the the navy out of high school. I am invertebrate in these type situations. I needed regis to let me call my mom. But it was time to dance
I began to smell charred animal remains and looked toward the kitchen. There was a random dead creature in a tupperware bowl on top of the microwave. It was surrounded by tiny candles. I couldnt decide if it was some type of tennessee fondue ritual or maybe just a mayan sex offering. But I knew it was going to haunt me somehow. What I didnt know is that big Tony would end up going back to prison that night and that I would stay clean for the next six weeks over it
(Tbc..)
I began to smell charred animal remains and looked toward the kitchen. There was a random dead creature in a tupperware bowl on top of the microwave. It was surrounded by tiny candles. I couldnt decide if it was some type of tennessee fondue ritual or maybe just a mayan sex offering. But I knew it was going to haunt me somehow. What I didnt know is that big Tony would end up going back to prison that night and that I would stay clean for the next six weeks over it
(Tbc..)
This post was edited on 10/30/15 at 8:11 am
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Posted on 10/30/15 at 7:40 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
Like an open bible on a park bench soaked in texas pete
Good God lmfao
Posted on 10/30/15 at 7:45 am to Chef Leppard
get to your physician's office TODAY!
Posted on 10/30/15 at 8:19 am to Chef Leppard
Posted on 10/30/15 at 8:48 am to Chef Leppard
Gotdamn Chef... 
Posted on 10/30/15 at 8:55 am to Chef Leppard
We don't do fondue in Tennessee. Maybe souse meat with melted cheese, but not fondue.
Other than that I find your experience enlightening and intriguing.
Other than that I find your experience enlightening and intriguing.
Posted on 10/30/15 at 9:00 am to GhostofCrowell
The mere sight of my dick made her drool like a mutt under a picnic table. But what truly concerned me was that I had shaved my balls earlier that day on my lunch break. I felt like the tiniest laceration would be like a door for diseases to walk through and have a seat on my pancreas. My mind raced like I was auctioning off good ideas. I had to quit thinking. Time to pump myself up. Im the catholic slave trader and shes the runt of my negro litter. Im the god damn bus driver now. So I just jumped on her
What happened over the next half hour was like episode 666 of meet the mansons. It was just brutal. I felt like rob zombie had shite on my chest. My dick and I wouldnt speak for months after this. I will say I was astonished at how agile she was for a woman her size though. She was like kung fu panda. I remember thinking frequently that this is why I do drugs. I had her hunched over the coffee table and was choking her with a string of christmas lights when I heard something behind me. Big tony had woke up
What happened over the next half hour was like episode 666 of meet the mansons. It was just brutal. I felt like rob zombie had shite on my chest. My dick and I wouldnt speak for months after this. I will say I was astonished at how agile she was for a woman her size though. She was like kung fu panda. I remember thinking frequently that this is why I do drugs. I had her hunched over the coffee table and was choking her with a string of christmas lights when I heard something behind me. Big tony had woke up
Posted on 10/30/15 at 9:14 am to Chef Leppard
Good start, but you will never, ever top the cunni through the fence story.
Posted on 10/30/15 at 9:33 am to Chef Leppard
Add more drugs and a large Samoan attorney and I think you might have something.
Posted on 10/30/15 at 11:12 am to runningdog
Is the fence story still on here?
Posted on 10/30/15 at 11:22 am to Chef Leppard
quote:
Im the catholic slave trader and shes the runt of my negro litter.
quote:
I will say I was astonished at how agile she was for a woman her size though. She was like kung fu panda
I have no words...
Posted on 10/30/15 at 12:53 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
Big tony had woke up
:popmfnkern:
Posted on 10/30/15 at 1:16 pm to voodoodawg
Was that ever on here? It was Tybee that posted that on the DR.
Posted on 10/30/15 at 1:20 pm to retooc
quote:
I had her hunched over the coffee table and was choking her with a string of christmas lights w
Wait.....you mean everybody hasn't tried this?
Posted on 10/30/15 at 1:27 pm to SneakyWaff1es
Yeah I think it was DR. Wish we could dig it back up 
Posted on 10/30/15 at 2:28 pm to Chef Leppard
Large Anthony has been one of my best friends for almost 15 yrs. we met because of his sister. Years ago she had gotten HIV from some lothario carnival worker that breezed through town. in a bittersweet twist of astrology he had also knocked her up with a sweet boy she named Chauncey, after the deaf dog in dr.doolittle . Every time id see him id remind him to say hey to my uncle harvey for me whenever he got to heaven. chauncey went to school with my son up until hospice took over. But anyway I was at a company cookout at piedmont park and tony was nearby at a family function. His sister forgot to bring potato salad and he walked over and asked if he could have some potato salad. We've been like brothers ever since
Now, im not sure why tony originally got thrown out and had to sleep in his caddilac. I do have suspicion that he had fricked her earlier though. mainly because she was dilated about 60 centimeters and her vagina hole smelled like smoked armpit. All I know is she went fruit ninja on that motherfricker when she saw him standing there like a southbound yeti. Roundhouses would soon be plentiful and i wanted none. my shaved sack speedbagged off my thighs as i scrambled for the door like a big pink crab. thats when I caught a pot of tiny mr.miyagi tree to the back of the skull. When I would wake up hours later everything would be different
Now, im not sure why tony originally got thrown out and had to sleep in his caddilac. I do have suspicion that he had fricked her earlier though. mainly because she was dilated about 60 centimeters and her vagina hole smelled like smoked armpit. All I know is she went fruit ninja on that motherfricker when she saw him standing there like a southbound yeti. Roundhouses would soon be plentiful and i wanted none. my shaved sack speedbagged off my thighs as i scrambled for the door like a big pink crab. thats when I caught a pot of tiny mr.miyagi tree to the back of the skull. When I would wake up hours later everything would be different
Posted on 10/30/15 at 4:02 pm to Chef Leppard
This guy? We run in the same circles.
Posted on 10/30/15 at 8:32 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
he had also knocked her up with a sweet boy she named Chauncey, after the deaf dog in dr.doolittle .
Oh my god I can't stop laughing at this
Posted on 10/31/15 at 11:35 pm to tylerdurden24
Heres the thing, I knew very few romantic details about Mavis Chavis until I woke to her in the convulsing shrimp position babbling like a sodium punk that morning. I knew that she had the words "poquito más" tattooed on the tramp region of her upper rump and I knew that grand anthony had met her at the american legion bingo hall in smyrna. but I was foolhardy to to distill her porky essence to those insignificant details. she was a vomitous cocktail you just couldnt drink in one gulp
She was the genetic product of two wealthy dachsund breeders from Macon. the kind that use vietnamese breast milk in their cereal. well, they had gone on an amateur archeological dig along the baja peninsula with wee mavis when she was only 6. tragically, both parents were digested by disgruntled coyotes on that dig. mavis wandered in the desert eating rocks and roaches for almost 8 weeks before she was rescued by a caravan of mexican hippies. they werent the garden variety habanero and bell bottom type though. they were learned in the dark arts
She was the genetic product of two wealthy dachsund breeders from Macon. the kind that use vietnamese breast milk in their cereal. well, they had gone on an amateur archeological dig along the baja peninsula with wee mavis when she was only 6. tragically, both parents were digested by disgruntled coyotes on that dig. mavis wandered in the desert eating rocks and roaches for almost 8 weeks before she was rescued by a caravan of mexican hippies. they werent the garden variety habanero and bell bottom type though. they were learned in the dark arts
Posted on 11/1/15 at 12:36 am to Chef Leppard
This post was edited on 11/1/15 at 9:44 am
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