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New Bama fan here...teach me how to be a gump

Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:23 am
Posted by DocHoliday11
South Georgia
Member since Jun 2013
4313 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:23 am
So I think i'm off to a strong start..

- Didn't graduate from Alabama
- Bonus points for never being to a football game in Tuscaloosa
- Got so drunk after a loss I slept on the couch. Points off for no domestic violence but i feel like i get a pass since I haven't won a national championship yet
- I shop at Walmart and have the Ozark Trail "yeti"
- I haven't played any college sport but think i'm an expert

What else? Roll Tide Paul
Posted by LukeSidewalker
Mobile, Alabama
Member since Dec 2012
8417 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:24 am to
Melt
Posted by DocHoliday11
South Georgia
Member since Jun 2013
4313 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:24 am to
check
Posted by TT9
Global warming
Member since Sep 2008
82952 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:24 am to
Sad
Posted by Cdawg
TigerFred's Living Room
Member since Sep 2003
59414 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:25 am to
quote:

Melt

quote:

check

Posted by BamaScoop
Panama City Beach, Florida
Member since May 2007
53779 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:25 am to
You need to start reading books about Bear Bryant, there will be quizzes at tailgates to see if you are a real fan or just trying to spy on us!

Also, never underestimate a good shot of sister pussy after a big win!
Posted by ABearsFanNMS
Formerly of tLandmass now in Texas
Member since Oct 2014
17435 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:25 am to
quote:

DocHoliday11


Posted by tomsellecksmustache
Dallas, Texas
Member since Dec 2015
1786 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:26 am to
Are you well versed in poisoning plants? Ever rubbed your ballsack on another mans face? If not, feel free to resubmit your application in 30 days. Thank for you interest in becoming a bump.
Posted by carolinaswamper
unincorporated swamp, johns island,
Member since Jan 2013
3142 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:27 am to
s easy. just emulate the biggest douche bag you've ever met or seen and stop brushing your teeth.
Posted by Evolved Simian
Bushwood Country Club
Member since Sep 2010
20444 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:30 am to
Funny.

Now do a "teach me how to be a black woman".
Posted by Crimson Legend
Mount St Gumpus
Member since Nov 2004
15478 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:31 am to
It shouldn't be too hard. Just take all the arrogance you bring from being an Ole Miss fan, and delight in the fact that as a Bama fan there's actually a reason for it.
Posted by sunseeker
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2016
2651 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:31 am to
How cute is your sister?
Posted by LSUTYGA
Member since Nov 2015
103 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:34 am to
Get up in the morning and brush your tooth
Posted by DocHoliday11
South Georgia
Member since Jun 2013
4313 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:40 am to
winner.





















I'm ready
Posted by Vols&Shaft83
Throbbing Member
Member since Dec 2012
69878 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:42 am to
Seems like your credentials are in order. Have you had intercourse with a relative yet?
Posted by sunseeker
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2016
2651 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:46 am to
quote:

Seems like your credentials are in order. Have you had intercourse with a relative yet?



He obviously didn't go to school there either. Racist? Check. fricks his sister? He can work on that.
Posted by TouchdownTony
Central Alabama
Member since Apr 2016
9634 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:47 am to
Be born semi retarded but yet somehow be smart enough to play for Bryant.

Have some incredible luck that makes u a billionaire

Be a war hero

Wait on your favourite girl to decide to marry u after she's blown half of america and contracted AIDS.

I didn't meet these qualifications
This post was edited on 10/16/16 at 10:50 am
Posted by DocHoliday11
South Georgia
Member since Jun 2013
4313 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:50 am to
Random girl moved to town when I was 17. Flirted with her before we realized we were cousins....still thought about going for it... It's my first day on the job Shaft give me time
Posted by CajunTiger_225
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
9201 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 10:51 am to
quote:

Ozark Trail "yeti"

I agree with most of those except for this.

I would have to say you're probably lower intelligence if you pay $40 for something you can get for $10.
Posted by Asharad
Tiamat
Member since Dec 2010
5677 posts
Posted on 10/16/16 at 11:01 am to
quote:

- Got so drunk after a loss I slept on the couch
We rarely have a loss to get drunk on.
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