My bourbon-influenced take on reality - team by team

Auburn - struggling against pre-season expectations but should end up better for the wear and win 8 games.
Alabama - showing typical strong arse colors and regrets their brain fart against the Bears
Arkansas - always dangerous but carries a losing record.....they are the fat girl who gives great head. Seriously, I will still be worried playing them.
Florida - typical great defense still waiting on a consistent offense......personnel consistency as well
UGA - one Chubb injury away from maintaining SECe expectations sans angry Bama.....want to borrow Guice?
Kentucky - better than normal but no where near Atlanta......like death and taxes
LSU - looking vintage and despite one man show allegations, we all truly know they have offensive talent that is the epitome of potential energy. Good defense but not great yet.
Miss State - not last years MSU but better than years past
Mizzou - been way underestimated years past and served plenty of crow.......not this year.
Ole Miss - insert 2014 team and repeat....cough oline....but looks like hey have Bamas number ala LSU years past?
USC - back to normalcy but we still love you unfortunate cocks.
Tennessee - one UGA victory to perpetuate the great lie
aTm - no bullshite, they look dangerous. Chavis was a huge get.
Vandy - scrappy like all years past.....no bowl for you

Bama, LSU, UF, and aTm are the class of the SEC