I wrote this for you guys. This is satire. Enjoy. Or not. Whatever.

STARKVILLE, MS – “It’s not the end of the world. Throwing the ball isn’t,” sneered Mississippi State head football coach Dan Mullen on this Wednesday’s SEC teleconference call. “I don’t think the end of the world has laces. I don’t think you can throw it but you know what you can throw? A football. You can throw a football and we’re doing just that. We’re doing just that and we’re doing it a lot. We’re going to throw it as much as we can because points matter. They matter and things that matter are the things that matter to us here at Mississippi State University.”

Yes, things are changing in Starkville and nowhere are these changes more apparent than in the play of Mississippi State’s All-American QB Dak Prescott. Prescott rushed for over 1,100 yards last season but 4 games into the 2015 season, he has more passing attempts than he has rushing yards. This represents, more than anything else, the huge shift in the team’s offensive philosophy in 2015.

Online message boards and real-life fans alike have been abuzz following the implementation of what some are calling an “air raid” offense. Some fans don’t seem to mind but others, like long-time Bulldog supporter Pip Harvey of Aberdeen, MS, aren’t so sure.

“This ‘air raid’ offense. I mean, it’s a raid in the air,” posted Harvey, anonymously on one of the Mississippi State family’s many online message boards. “I don’t know what it means. I wonder if Coach Dan Mullen understands that you can’t score touchdowns by just throwing the ball across the goal line. Someone has to catch it and if everyone is throwing, who’s going to catch it? It doesn’t take an engineering degree from Mississippi State to see what we’re up against here. Although I have two.”

Still, Prescott is having a spectacular season thus far leading his Bulldogs to a 3-1 record while throwing no interceptions along the way. Mullen hopes this trend will continue as the Bulldogs head to College Station this weekend to face off with Texas A&M at the newly renovated Kyle Field.

“This weekend is huge. It’s really huge,” says Mullen, looking ahead. “This is a game that we absolutely cannot lose if we’re going to make it to Atlanta this year. We’re going to run the ball by not running the ball and when we pass it, we’re going to pass it down the field. If we do happen to gain a yard on the ground, we’re going to make sure that we give it to our defense. If we’re able to give our defense enough yards, I have no doubt that we’ll be able to score enough points to not lose the game. It’s really all about the points. That’s our philosophy here at Mississippi State University and I don’t know what else to tell you guys. We’re going to score points and we’re going to do everything in our power to not lose the game.”

Bulldog fans are expecting no less.

The football game between Mississippi State and Texas A&M will be televised Saturday evening at 6:30 PM CT on the SEC Network.