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Iron Bowl Cops... policing the Iron Bowl - interesting and slightly hilarious

Posted on 6/19/15 at 12:47 am
Posted by Tuscaloosa
11x Award Winning SECRant user
Member since Dec 2011
46539 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 12:47 am
I accidentally found this article while looking for stuff about how shitty the Tuscaloosa Police Department is.



This... this stuff right here... is some funny shite. It's a bit long, but worth it, IMO. Overall very interesting article, but it gets progressively more hilarious starting at about the 6:10 mark. The story about having to arrest the 80 year old man is my favorite. There are a bunch.

quote:

"Ma'am ..."

"Are you Alabama fan?" she asks. "I used to be."

"Used to be?" Blankley asks.

"My hussssband is an Auburn fan. And you know what they say in the Bible?"

No one answers.

"It says to ressssspect your husband."

"Ma'am, is your husband here? You need to go sit down with him now."


quote:

In 14 hours, the worst incident witnessed is the arrest of an 80-year-old man for public intoxication. He could easily be charged with disorderly conduct, and when the time comes, resisting arrest, but the four TPD officers working the incident seem genuinely dumbfounded at the series of escalating actions...


quote:

Behind us is a white male, late 40s, husky build with gray hair, standing in front of a group of Auburn student ambassadors (those kids in orange blazers you always see in crowd shots on TV), screaming, cussing, and goading them to yell back. In his left hand is a cell phone videotaping the students. In his right is the hand of his five-year-old-son, frightened to tears. The man is attempting to videotape Auburn students behaving poorly.


quote:

There are also Auburn fans working for TPD, but it's no longer advertised. According to Blankley, when Alabama cornerback Simeon Castille was arrested in 2007 for disorderly conduct, one of the officers on the scene, an Auburn grad, had a Tigers sticker on his squad car. An image of that made its way online with the tag "AUBURN INFILTRATED." Since then, no personal imagery is allowed on TPD vehicles.



Iron Bowl Cops: What It's like to police 100,000 people during the year's biggest game
This post was edited on 6/19/15 at 12:47 am
Posted by E.Hubble
Athens
Member since Jul 2013
1720 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:12 am to
None of that is interesting or even close to funny. Would you gaf about the parking attendants at the Egg Bowl? Neither do we.
Posted by Tuscaloosa
11x Award Winning SECRant user
Member since Dec 2011
46539 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:14 am to
I'm sorry you were born without a sense of humor. I find a story of a dumbass drunk 80 year old bammer dancing in the road with a lady of the streets and having to be arrested pretty funny.

It's pretty obvious you didn't bother to read any more than the first paragraph, so why bother commenting?
This post was edited on 6/19/15 at 2:16 am
Posted by Tuscaloosa
11x Award Winning SECRant user
Member since Dec 2011
46539 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:20 am to
And if you're having trouble finding humor in this visual of an 80 year old man, I can't help you.

quote:

The man is first spotted dancing in front of cars in the Publix parking lot near Bryant-Denny, which is used by hotel and parking shuttle services as a pick-up area. When TPD first approaches the man, dressed in slacks, a silk Alabama baseball jacket, and a Crimson Tide cap, he already has a fresh cut on his cheek and admits to having fallen at some point in the evening.

...

After another verbal warning, the man wanders back, this time falling to his knees. Upon further conversation it's revealed that his companion, decked out in fur-lined boots with white pom-poms, a houndstooth checkered dress, and a big blonde boufant, is not his wife, simply a "companion."

"For uh ... tonight, ma'am? Did you know this man before?" one officer asks. She doesn't clarify.

"Man, I'm really gonna have to arrest an 80-year-old man," one officer says. "That's a new record for me. I had two guys in their 70s, both DUIs."

The man ignores a growing crowd of police and fans and staggers out again. An ambulance is called for the man, who is now incapable of standing up. When the paramedics arrive, he refuses. When he lunges at the officers and tells them, "frick off, you motherfrickers, I'm not going goddamn anywhere!" he finally earns a trip to the mobile command unit's processing center, albeit after six officers try to tactfully cuff and place him on a police utility vehicle.

Posted by Sancho Panza
La Habaña, Cuba
Member since Sep 2014
8161 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:28 am to
Pathetic, NOT remotely funny.
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55437 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:32 am to
quote:

find a story of a dumbass drunk 80 year old bammer dancing in the road with a lady of the streets and having to be arrested pretty funny.


I was so relieved to find that the age of the alleged perp was 80 - had it been 89, I would have feared for the integrity of my paternal grandfather. He is known, even at his age, to consume copious amounts of dark liquor and frick women a quarter of his age. Particularly in Tuscaloosa.
Posted by Alert Mi
Trussville
Member since Nov 2014
680 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 2:54 am to
Thanks, Tucaloosa, that is funny stuff.
Posted by PowerTool
The dark side of the road
Member since Dec 2009
21073 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 3:38 am to
I read it. Interesting to see Gameday from the cops perspective.
Posted by Rebel Land Shark
Member since Jul 2013
30162 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 4:05 am to
I didn't find it funny but I thought it was a very interesting article to see what gameday is like for cops
Posted by 14&Counting
Eugene, OR
Member since Jul 2012
37564 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 5:44 am to
Not funny at all and anyway its germans as frick...

Have a downvote
Posted by beatbammer
Member since Sep 2010
38000 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 6:08 am to
I found the article interesting as well as amusing, Tusc. Thanks.

Oh, and Ashley? IWHI.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64330 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 6:18 am to
quote:

Behind us is a white male, late 40s, husky build with gray hair, standing in front of a group of Auburn student ambassadors (those kids in orange blazers you always see in crowd shots on TV), screaming, cussing, and goading them to yell back. In his left hand is a cell phone videotaping the students. In his right is the hand of his five-year-old-son, frightened to tears. The man is attempting to videotape Auburn students behaving poorly.


That would be funny in a pathetic sort of way if it were not for the fact he was scaring the shite out of his kindergarten age son. Now it's just sad.
Posted by auburnphan23
Member since Jan 2014
5862 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 6:22 am to
Didn't read but I just assume it is something dumb considering who posted it
Posted by BamaGradinTn
Murfreesboro
Member since Dec 2008
26952 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 6:31 am to
That was pretty funny, but I've seen funnier things. Like this:


This post was edited on 6/19/15 at 6:32 am
Posted by Tiger n Miami AU83
Miami
Member since Oct 2007
45656 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 7:09 am to
It was alright. Nothing really unusual in it, but decent read.

Now, if AU had won, I'm sure it would have been a lot more interesting night.
Posted by ksayetiger
Centenary Gents
Member since Jul 2007
68250 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 7:24 am to
quote:

Behind us is a white male, late 40s, husky build with gray hair, standing in front of a group of Auburn student ambassadors (those kids in orange blazers you always see in crowd shots on TV), screaming, cussing, and goading them to yell back. In his left hand is a cell phone videotaping the students. In his right is the hand of his five-year-old-son, frightened to tears. The man is attempting to videotape Auburn students behaving poorly.



That would be funny in a pathetic sort of way if it were not for the fact he was scaring the shite out of his kindergarten age son. Now it's just sad.





Really sad. I hope someone filmed him so his 5 year old can watch it in 10 years. Trash like that prove how shitty most bama fans really are.
Posted by elposter
Member since Dec 2010
24819 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 8:17 am to
quote:

Trash like that prove how shitty most bama fans really are.


Yep screaming profanity in front of kids is pretty bad. Glad this is a rare occurrence in SEC stadiums.
Posted by BammerDelendaEst
Member since Jan 2014
2212 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 9:15 am to
quote:

And if you're having trouble finding humor in this visual of an 80 year old man, I can't help you.


Shouldn't be making fun of coachcrisp
Posted by Tuscaloosa
11x Award Winning SECRant user
Member since Dec 2011
46539 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 10:54 am to
quote:

Not funny at all and anyway its germans as frick...

Have a downvote


Oh... Hi Officer Blankley. Please tell the rest of your department to get their shite together.
Posted by Tuscaloosa
11x Award Winning SECRant user
Member since Dec 2011
46539 posts
Posted on 6/19/15 at 10:56 am to
quote:

Shouldn't be making fun of coachcrisp


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