If you were SEC Commissioner for one day and your actions couldn't be undone

How would your one day as SEC Commissioner go?

What would you do to strengthen the SEC?

Remember, you can do ANYTHING and your decisions cannot be repealed by a future SEC Commissioner.





I would do the following:

1) Immediately recognize Mizzou's 1960 national championship and force the NCAA to do the same. Ole Miss's claim is weak and complete and utter nonsense. Mizzou was the only unbeaten in 1960.

2) Change the SEC Logo. I would center the current SEC Logo on an original Confederate Navy Jack flag (e.g. The Stars and Bars).

3) After changing the logo, I would proclaim that no team could ever join the SEC if that team's state is not represented by a star on the Confederate Navy Jack flag.

4) I would ban out of conference games and therefore divisions. All SEC teams play each other. The two teams with the best record at the end of the regular season would play in an official conference championship game.

5) I would impose a 1 year suspension of football activities against Ole Miss and make it clear to all SEC teams that if cheating is proven at any SEC institution it would result in an automatic 1 year suspension of football activities.

6) I would ban cowbells at Mississippi State games

7) I would allow alcohol to be sold in stadiums during games. I'd also allow people to leave the stadium at half time and re-enter with proof of ticket.

8) I would contact a Fire Marshal and lobby for Tennessee's Neyland Stadium to be deemed unsafe and against fire code for seats too close together. I would force Tennessee to spend millions either 1) rebuilding a new stadium or 2) space seats an additional 6 inches from each other. That way spectators aren't butt fricking the dude sitting next to them when everyone stands up. As it is now Neyland is one giant butt frick session because everyone is cramped in that crappy stadium like sardines.

9) I would get Tennessee to admit their torchbearer statue is in fact Lucifer. I'd force TN to issue a formal statement explaining why they chose Lucifer to anchor their campus. Upon admission that the TN Torchbearer statue is in fact Lucifer, I'd convene a council to discuss sanctions against TN for damaging the SEC's reputation with Satanic subversiveness. Sanctions would include revoking all national championships won in years the Luciferian Torchbearer existed on TN's campus.

(I've already proven TN's Torchbearer is in fact a representation of Lucifer, so TN's rebuttal will be an uphill battle)