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Freeze Has No Idea What Happened In Gainesville
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:47 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:47 pm
I wrote this for you guys.
Satire, of course.
quote:
OXFORD, MS - Ole Miss football coach Hugh Freeze says that he has no idea what happened in Gainesville, Florida this past Saturday night when his Ole Miss Rebels (4-1) lost a game in blowout fashion (38-10) to the Florida Gators (5-0).
"I've been told that a football game took place and I've been told that the team that I routinely coach did not do too well but I can't get into any specifics until I've had time to review the film from the game," said Freeze during his Monday morning press conference. "I wasn't there. I honestly should have been there and I can't imagine a scenario that would have resulted in my absence from such an important contest but such a scenario must have taken place. I literally cannot remember anything from Saturday night. I steadfastly maintain that I could not have been there. No way, no how."
Freeze was immediately shown several photos and videos of himself on the sideline during the game but continued to maintain that he was, in fact, not there.
So if Freeze wasn't at the game in Gainesville Saturday night, where was he?
"I could have been anywhere. Birmingham. Savannah. My old hometown of Independence. There are places that I enjoy visiting with my family during the off-season and sometimes during the season as well. I know that I coach a football team that plays on Saturdays but that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to take a trip when the need arises or when my family is tired of eating Applebee's and chicken strips. Sometimes you have to get out of town and you don't always want to have dozens of athletic young men along for the ride. This is apparently what happened but like I said, I didn't even realize that I wasn't at the game until you guys brought it up just now."
Asked if his absence may have had an impact on how the game played out, Freeze threw his hands up and left the podium to sit back down in his chair on the stage. Clearly baffled by the entire ordeal, a suddenly iridescent Freeze was gently dismissed from the press conference by Ole Miss Athletic Director Ross Bjork, who quickly took Freeze's place at the podium. His right hand held up to his chest, Bjork made a statement.
"Now, look,' he began. "If Coach Freeze says he wasn't at the game, he wasn't at the game. I wasn't at the game either. Things happen and we move on. Freeze is a great man and I'm not going to sit here and have you nerds call him a liar to his face. If you'd like to discuss this issue any further, I'd suggest you come to my office so we can close the doors and discuss this like men." Amidst confused looks from the many journalists in the room (both men and women alike), Bjork then lowered his hand and stormed off the stage defiantly, his customary "TNA Wrestling Heavyweight Championship" belt wrapped around his waist.
While not being formally concluded, the awkward silence permeating the room and the bowed heads of those who remained onstage indicated that the press conference had ended.
Whether Freeze was at the game in Gainesville this past Saturday night or not, one thing is for certain. He had better be at next week's game if his Rebels hope to rebound against a hapless 0-4 New Mexico State team looking desperately for its first win of the season.
The New Mexico State vs. Ole Miss game will be televised nationally on the SEC Network at 11:00 AM CST next Saturday, October 10.
Satire, of course.
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 6:28 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:49 pm to sorantable
He won his Super Bowl against Alabama. The rest of the season doesn't matter or exist. It's a one game season, just like all the rest of our opponents.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:50 pm to sorantable
quote:
Savannah
Badass city
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:50 pm to Minkah Magic
quote:
He won his Super Bowl against Alabama. The rest of the season doesn't matter or exist. It's a one game season, just like all the rest of our opponents.
That couldn't be farther from the truth. Our true rival is LSU, not you.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:53 pm to DingDongEddieStrong
you're not our rival
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:53 pm to DingDongEddieStrong
The swamp will kick your arse in early part of season. See LSU few years back
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:54 pm to sorantable
you might even say he was blindsided by the outcome
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:11 pm to BugaJesus
quote:
you're not our rival
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:18 pm to sorantable
Was Nkemdici with Freeze?
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:19 pm to DingDongEddieStrong
Was a big game. Still not our rival, idiot
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:23 pm to BugaJesus
quote:
Was a big game. Still not our rival, idiot
1. Nice use of idiot.
2. Your response makes no sense.
3. You rushed the field after beating us. Not even State has done that to the level that you did last year. Such a little brother move.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:25 pm to sorantable
He just Froze up. Get it? Fro...ah, never mind. That was terrible and your article was actually funny.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:26 pm to sorantable
This is what happened in Gainesville:
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:26 pm to DingDongEddieStrong
quote:
That couldn't be farther from the truth. Our true rival is LSU, not you
Your rival is State. Trust me I hate having to admit the bunch of nerds on North Ave are our rival. But it is what it is.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:26 pm to Minkah Magic
quote:
He won his Super Bowl against Alabama. The rest of the season doesn't matter or exist. It's a one game season, just like all the rest of our opponents.
So Georgia was the Buffalo Bills?
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:30 pm to BugaJesus
quote:
you're not our rival
Dude, let it go. They are our true rival. So is Arky, so is Bama, and the day A&M beats they will be too. Just because it isn't on paper everyone likes to deny it but they are our rivals. The strictest competition in our conference are rivals. Why's everyone so scared of that?
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 5:34 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:30 pm to randomways
quote:
your article was actually funny.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 5:54 pm to DingDongEddieStrong
1. It's the cool thing to do these days when winning what was thought to be a big game. It was embarrassing to me. Kids these days though.
2. Ole Miss hasn't even won a conference championship in over half a century..much less a nc.
3. Ole Miss hasn't lost less than 3 games in decades.
4. If they could become good again then they could work their way back to being a rival. We are talking about actually good with championship like results. Not off-season champions.
2. Ole Miss hasn't even won a conference championship in over half a century..much less a nc.
3. Ole Miss hasn't lost less than 3 games in decades.
4. If they could become good again then they could work their way back to being a rival. We are talking about actually good with championship like results. Not off-season champions.
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