For my 5000th post: Making fun of EVERY SEC team

Feel free to read them all, or just pick the ones that are to your liking. Or don't read and downvote. Any one of those options is acceptable.

Alabama: their fans. Most are very trashy, all are very spoiled. They resort to poisoning trees, diving over bleachers to throw punches, and even murder sometimes when their team loses. Many mistakenly think their team's football success means they're successful in life. Also, their QB's have 2 NFL wins in the last 30 years.

Arkansas: their coach gets an awful lot of hype for having a 17-20 (7-17) record at Arky. The Toledo loss wasn't even their worst in the last few years, they also lost to ULM. The Piggies are 8-24 in SEC play in the last 4 years.

Auburn: they can't sustain success for shite. Every couple of years, they'll come out of the woodwork and be very good, but they've basically ranged from mediocre to terrible every year besides that. IIRC, they've NEVER won 10+ games in back to back years. Also the Jeremy Johnson for Heisman campaign was an epic flop.

Florida: it's been 6 years and counting since the Gators had a serviceable QB that didn't use steroids. Their offense is a chronic dumpster fire, and they lost their last 3 games with an average margin of defeat of 24 points. And let's not forget the 4-8 season in 2013 complete with a loss to a Ga Southern team that completed 0 passes in the game.

Georgia: their most recent national championship is 36 years old and counting. They're consistently decent to good, but ultimately they don't win shite that matters. They choke away a game or two they should win almost every year, and frequently ruin very promising situations for themselves by stumbling over their own feet.

Kentucky: the last time they made a bowl game at 6-6, "Hey, Soul Sister" and "Bad Romance" were topping the Billboard charts. UK's record in the last 30 years vs division opponents Tennessee and Florida is a combined 1-59. 1-59.

LSU: the Les fiasco at the end of last year pretty much made their fans and administration alike look like complete morons. They spend an inordinate amount of time trying to compare with Alabama, but constantly come up short and it aggravates them to no end. Also their QB situation is on par with Florida's.

Mississippi State: there's honestly not much I can think of to pick on them for, other than they just usually suck in general. Their football and basketball facilities are some of the worst in the SEC. Dak sucks at fighting.

Ole Miss: they've never hit 10 regular season wins EVER, or made the SECCG either. MSU has even managed both of those. Even in recent relative success, they've still had embarrassing losses to Arkansas, TCU and Memphis. Also things are looking extremely iffy there with the ongoing NCAA investigations.

Missouri: they absolutely embarrassed themselves when the entire school went into complete overhaul mode over a poop swastika. They also lost to both Vandy and UK last year, and went more than a month without even scoring a TD.

South Carolina: Citadel. Nuff said.

Tennessee: they are trying very hard to build a reputation as the Penn State of the South, and it's totally humiliating. The Vols had a ridiculously terrible stretch for a Big 6 team between 08 and 14, and Derek Dooley had more losses to Vandy and UK than he had wins over ranked teams at UT. Also the Gators and Tide have combined for a laughable 20 straight wins over UT (11 and 9.)

Texas A&M: they consistently start the year beating up on weak teams to build confidence, then they play a good team and enter full meltdown mode, culminating almost invariably with a loss to LSU. Also, the way Sumlin has incredibly managed to run off 3 highly rated QB's in 2 years is comical.

Vandy: not only do they have the smallest SEC stadium, it's almost always less than half full, and usually more than half of those fans are supporters of the visiting team. 95% of the time, their football team reflects similar quality.